Can There Ever be a Happy Ever After?
by J16D
Summary: After everything they went through he left without word and they're both torn up at their separation, but can she move on and if he does return, can she find it within herself to forgive him? Modern AU
1. Chapter 1

Tris Prior has had her heart shattered by Tobias Eaton on numerous occasions but this time it was completely torn out and trodden on; it had been 1 year 10 months and 2 weeks since he left without notice.

He not only left her without a goodbye but with a life changing creation which created juxtaposing emotions which simultaneously tugged and ripped at her heart strings.

As she looked down at her daughter, Ruby Prior, who was exploring the world that was her backyard she couldn't help but stare into her deep blue eyes which held countless memories of the moments she shared with Tobias, both good and bad. They are a constant reminder of what they had, what they could have been and what they've missed since his sudden departure. There is no doubt she is his daughter, with the exception of her thin blonde hair, she is a spitting image of her father with a slightly hooked nose, fuller lips and those deep ocean blue eyes.

They were not perfect by any means but the love they shared could be seen by even a blind man and their own troubled pasts simultaneously brought them closer together and also created a barrier between the two. The fact that she had no explanation for his departure after 2 years together pained her deeply. This pain was only exacerbated when a month later she found out that she was 7 weeks pregnant, what should have been a joyous revelation was in fact a torturous reminder of the man who deserted her in her greatest time of need.

All reminders of him had either been damaged through her bouts of rage or remained completely untouched as despite her unwillingness to consciously admit it, even though she knew he would not come back, removing his belongings would confirm her greatest fear. Another person leaving her. Being alone. For months she refused her to leave the house and despite the best efforts of her closest friends she was in denial of being abandoned all over again. It was her greatest insecurity. Tobias knew that. He knew that yet he still left her.

The pregnancy wasn't without complications due to her early unwillingness to accept the cards she had been dealt. The stress and lack of food she was consuming was sure to be affecting the baby and it took a number of months and interventions by her friends to break her out of her trance and for her to look after herself like she knew she had to. This baby was coming into the world whether or not she liked it and she had to accept that Tobias would always be part of her life, through the child they created.

She didn't want a lot of people at the birth and as her birthing partner and self proclaimed auntie; Christina was the rock that kept Tris together for the 16 hour labour, and despite her expletives towards Tobias throughout, she was as supportive as any best friend could be. After many hours of pushing Tris was finally relieved to have delivered a healthy baby girl and as soon as she held her daughter a cascade of tears escaped her eyes, not only from the exhaustion, but at the immense love which coursed through every cell in her body and her undeniable resemblance to her father.

She was broken from her trance when Christina characteristically let herself into the house and through to the backyard and cooed down at Ruby who giggled in response. "How's my sweet girl?" Christina asked in which Tris responded "I'm doing quite well thank you" which earned her a knowing nudge and smirk in return. Christina was her constant rock since Tobias' departure and her recent return renewed positivity provided much relief to her best friend who had witnessed the very lows of lows which Tris experienced.

Christina lifted Ruby into her arms and stared lovingly at the 1 year old who is a constant delight to all those who meet her, although she is not immune from possessing a stubborn streak which she has inherited from both her parents. As Tris and Christina fell into a comfortable silence, which was not unusual for the pair since Tris has been quite recluse since he left, Ruby took the opportunity to fill the silence with her baby babble which was always entertaining.

They don't often speak of Tobias but when they do a scowl immediately adorns Tris' face and a response likened to a moody teenager when they're told what to do. So when Christina delicately asks if she still has yet to hear any word from Four her response is a knowing look which causes to Christina to raise both hands in the air in surrender to approaching the subject.

"You and Uriah then" Christina wiggled her eyebrows which caused a blush to spread across Tris' face and her hands to immediately hide and cool down her face, "you and Will huh" was her eventual response. It was Christina's' turn to blush and she whispered gently "touché" and both girls giggled at their respective responses. Tris and Uriah had been friends for years and they have only been casually seeing each other for the past few months and on their rare public outings they looked to any observer like a young happy couple but she was still harbouring the deep pain inflicted by one man almost two years ago who had a stranglehold on her heart. She was always questioning whether she would ever be granted a happy ever after.

...

Tobias frustratingly dragged his hand down his face as he looked longingly at the last photo he and Tris took together, they were staring lovingly at each other at a party with their friends, he sighed heavily as we wished it didn't have to be like this and that he could be enveloped in the comfort of her arms.

It was easily the hardest thing to do leaving Tris but he hoped she was happy and found someone who cared deeply for her. Although the latter caused a deep ache in his heart each time he thought of someone else holding and comforting her when it should be him. But he made the decision and he had to live with the pain each day that had past in the last year, 10 months and 2 weeks since he left Chicago.

He didn't willingly choose to leave her but he was forced into the decision by his father Marcus who held more power over him then he would ever be willing to admit. Years and years of abuse at the hands of his father during his childhood contributed to his inability to stand up to him. He thought he had found an out when he met the Pedrad's who offered him a safe home and ultimately led to his introduction to the most beautiful girl he had ever met. It wasn't necessarily her physical characteristics which contributed to this but her natural and radiating spirit which created a feeling he had yet to experience and one he could only describe as constant fluttering in his stomach whenever he was with her. It had been quite a number of years since he had heard form Marcus as he'd moved in with the Pedrad's when he was 18 and it wasn't until he was 25, two years into his and Tris' relationship that contact resumed. At first he thought it was all an act to ensure his father's professional image was perfect but it soon became clear this was only part of his reason. He was well known in the business world but he had a second life as a feared and respected member in the New York underworld. This gave him ties to powerful people who are accustomed to using violence to solve issues and an order by Marcus would not be questioned. This is why when his father threatened the safety of the one person in the world he has ever loved he had no hesitation to do anything to protect her. He had hurt her too many times before to let anything happen to her and if he knew he had to leave and surrender to his father's threats, he just didn't know how much it would hurt him. His unhappiness and torture was Marcus' joy and resumed the control over his son which he had lost for seven years. It is why he now sits still staring at the picture with tears running down his face and his heart breaking at the prospect of never hearing her sweet voice again or feeling her soft touch as she caressed his face. Every day since he left he questioned the ending of the stories his mother often read to him as a child, is there ever a happy ever after?

* * *

 **Hi, this is my first time writing fan fiction and I would love to hear what you think and if I should continue this? Thank you :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Tris POV

Some mornings I don't feel like ever wanting to leave the safety of my bed, but each time I hear the slight cries over the baby monitor alerting me to my little girl waking up I am renewed with hope that this day will be better than the last. I often wonder what it would be like to have someone, _really him_ , to lean on for the hard long nights which Ruby provided in the early stages of her life and even to this day. I of course had Christina but it's not that same and Uriah, well we have only just started to become more than friends.

I've known Uriah for quite some time now as we met through school and instantly hit it off. He always had the ability to make me smile through his care free attitude, but although he may have had other feelings I only ever saw him as a close friend. This was only compounded after he invited me over for his mum, Hana's, famous roast dinner one night and I met Tobias, who was a part of their family. I felt an instant attraction which was all too consuming and at times overwhelming. I found that we were continually stealing glances at one another whilst we thought the other wasn't looking, which I'm sure turned my face a noticeably darker shade of red. Despite Tobias' and I's relationship we continued to be close and I think Tobias often got jealous of how easy he could make me laugh and feel at ease. However I found that Uriah makes me comfortable but Tobias makes... _made..._ me feel alive and every touch, no matter how insignificant, always set my skin on fire. I have to quickly shake myself from those thoughts as I'm becoming a little flustered and frankly I want to move on from thinking of him, my head knows I need to but my heart is still lagging a little behind.

I was initially reluctant to start anything with Uriah but we sort of just fell into it in the end and despite my insanely heavy attached baggage and precarious situation he was there and willing to give it a go. We haven't been to _that_ level of intimacy yet as I still can't think of being that close to anyone but Tobias, it must frustrate him but he is patient and always assures me that he will wait as long as it takes. With a final deep inhale I arise from my bed and make the short walk to Ruby's room where I see her laying on her back staring wide eyed at the mobile which hangs above her crib. She's usually quite grumpy in the morning, _like her father_ , so it's a pleasant surprise to hear her soft giggles rather than the cries from earlier and I take the opportunity to snap a few photos on my phone and send them to Christina as she is dressed in her 'I love my Auntie' baby grow. After a few more moments of appreciating her I take her out of the crib and coo down at her and I find she starts rooting, which the doctors tell me is now a voluntary action as I stopped breastfeeding a few months ago. This is when her stubbornness comes into play as she refuses to take the bottle that I've just made or any solid food I make. It's a frustrating start to the morning, which started with such hope, and it took over an hour to finally get her to eat and getting her dressed for the day, and I must admit she looks pretty darn cute in her white t-shirt and her denim overalls on top. I on the other hand did not take as much time to make myself up as I've barely had the time to even look in the mirror this morning so I may get a few odd looks as I venture out today.

Whilst grabbing everything I need for Ruby and placing her in the car seat I take a look at the clock on the dashboard and curse to myself as I notice that I'm almost an hour late in meeting Uriah. I was suppose to meet him at Dauntless Café at 10:30 and its now 11:15 so I drive as fast, but safely, as I can and arrive over an hour late from our arranged time. After I get her into her pram and walk into the Café I'm greeted by Tori, "how's the most gorgeous little girl doing?" and I stop walking and look up from Ruby to greet Tori and simultaneously look around for Uriah. "She's doing well, a little grumpy this morning but getting cuter everyday if that's even possible" I reply whilst gently stroking the top of her head. Everyone knows about my situation and it makes it both easy and hard at the as they're supportive but they often give me looks of pity and I don't appreciate being seen as an incapable single mother. I smile at Tori and inform her I'm looking for Uriah and she points me in the direction of the far corner where I see him spread across the couch on his phone. I walk over to him and instantly apologise for being so late and that it's been a hectic morning but he insists it's perfectly fine and he gives me a quick kiss and one to Ruby as well. They get on like a house on fire and I know that if Tobias is never to be seen again he will be a perfect father figure to her. I smile at them whilst he lifts her from the pram and tickles her and blow raspberries on her neck and arms and she giggles and smiles in delight. We end up talking for just under two hours about everything and anything, I always find it easy to talk to him, apart from one person but he rarely comes into conversation anymore, with anyone.

After a couple of coffees and two slices of famous Dauntless chocolate cake later, which Uriah insists must be consumed if you are to even think of coming to Dauntless Café, we part ways with a few sweet kisses and a promise that we will see each other tomorrow. The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house and spending time with Ruby who is starting to get a lot more curious about the world around her which means she gets into everything and creates more mess that I have to clean up. When she finally settles for the night I manage to clean myself up and spend a little longer than the usual two minute dash in the shower and I eventually sit down on the plush couch with a small glass of white wine whilst reading a book. I do decide in the end to have an early night as I do have a half days work as part of my rotation on the job roster tomorrow. I work as a receptionist at Chicago Fire, a professional soccer team, and I live just outside of the city and therefore must commute to work but I have a very flexible work schedule which is perfect for me as I can spend more time with Ruby whilst being able to pay the bills each month. I fall almost instantly to sleep after a tiring day but my dreams never stray far away from piercing blue eyes that always seem to haunt me no matter how hard I try to move on.

...

Tobias POV

Another day in hell and another one spent doing whatever dirty work Marcus had planned for me. Every day I wake up and say this is the one where it all ends, the day I can finally free myself from this man who calls himself my father, but frankly I see him only as a sperm donor because he hasn't done anything to make me call him dad in all my 25 years. It's why I have always promised myself that whenever I have a child they will know I love them with all my heart and I'll be there for them from day one. I don't ever want them to think I didn't want them or that I wasn't an active part of their life. I of course have fears that I will be turn out to be just like him and hit my child because I become frustrated at them and it is why I always avoided talking about the prospect of children with Tris. Of course we were still young and she's two years younger than I am but she was the person I thought I'd spend forever with, we weren't without issues but I know that with her help I could be a patient and loving dad which she often reminded me I could be whilst rubbing my back and the place where my token for kindness lay.

Marcus takes advantage of my ability with technology and computers in order to track and set up people throughout the city who he deems to have wronged him. I know he feels no guilt or remorse but I despise being part of it and even more frustrated at the lack of progress I've made of getting myself out of this situation. I often ask him why certain people are being targeted but he never warrants my questions with answers and when certain targets vanish almost seemingly overnight I know they have been more than dealt with and it causes my stomach to flip at the thought I assisted him. As I seem to be the only one with efficient enough computer skills no one questions my methods, although I am constantly watched they don't understand code and therefore I have an upper hand in my quest to bring down whatever Marcus is a part of. I wasn't immediately put in this position; it took almost 6 months for Marcus to deem me stable and trustworthy enough not to try anything plus numerous additional threats to Tris' safety. So after almost a year of being on a form of parole period I was left to my own devices and four months ago I began leaving a trail of breadcrumbs through code, they're unnoticeable to an untrained eye but hopefully are being picked up by anyone who is sure to be investigating the disappearances of some of the city's top ring leaders and business men.

In my mind it has been 3 months and 3 weeks too long for anyone to find the code and take action but I know I have to keep doing what Marcus tells me with little to no trouble and continue putting information out there in the hope I will be free to return to where my heart has never left.

* * *

 **Thanks for the reviews, hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **Have just added POV titles cause I know it was confusing a few and in terms of future POV I'm not too sure how it will plan out. It will continue maybe like this for a few more chapters and then perhaps go into one POV and maybe from other characters as well. Hopefully have another update early next week**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, so I definitely didn't plan for this chapter to be so long but I just found I couldn't stop writing. I appreciate all the reviews and hope you enjoy this one.**

 **Chapter 3 – Tris**

I'm on my way to work after dropping Ruby off at day care, glad that it is only half a days' work as I know I most likely look twice as bad as I feel. Lately I just haven't been feeling too great about myself and its showing in my appearance but each morning I wake to sweet text messages from Uriah telling me I'm beautiful among a few _other_ things which I often find hard to believe but it does make me feel a little better. On top of all that, today I felt very unwilling to leave Ruby as she was putting up quite the fuss and as a mother all you want to do is hold them and assure them everything will be okay. I knew I couldn't though as I do owe a great deal to Chicago Fire for offering me this job and the hours they do, so I know I have to suck it up and get through the day as I know I most likely have it better off in comparison to other single mothers. I always chastise myself for thinking selfishly as others have it a lot worse, a trait engrained by abnegation upbringing.

My parents were practically saints, they never stepped a foot wrong and were always encouraging Caleb, my brother, and I to help our community in any way we could and that 'it is more blessed to give than receive.' It is only when they passed that I truly appreciated what they stood for and how important their teachings were, the amount of well wishes and attendees at their funeral epitomised the people they were and how wide their reach truly was. Their death was sudden and tragic and rocked me to my core; I was blindsided.

You often view your parents as being superheroes that are immortal and untouchable so when I heard that they'd be killed in a car crash whilst picking up stock for a local food bank it is fair to say I was a mess. Whilst I didn't take it well, Caleb was worse, I knew I needed to remember the good instead of lamenting on the time we won't have together and I attempted to come to terms with it, but he completely shut down. I often think to myself that I lost three people in that accident because he has never been the same and he left Chicago soon after the funeral to move across the country to Utah where I get intermittent communication from him. We were never really that close but I do wish, as my last blood tie, that he would have stuck around but he insisted _"_ _that I need to live a simple life Beatrice, away from all the reminders of them. . . I'm sorry."_

I understand how he came to that conclusion but you shouldn't run away from what you fear the most, it doesn't mean you can overcome them but you can learn to live, tolerate and grow stronger from them.

I suppose we really are quite different but I do miss my older brother, not necessarily talking to him but just knowing he is there if I ever do need him. The fact that Ruby also doesn't have her real uncle around to spoil her hurts as he has only seen her once and that was just after she was born.

It is almost the third anniversary of their passing and it was only when Ruby was born that I think it hit me, that my parents won't meet their granddaughter or any other potential grandchildren. When Ruby was a baby and I had a thousand and one questions I would always pick up the phone thinking my mum would know the answer to that to only have reality come crashing down around me. They say 'time heals all wounds, but that presumes that the source of grief is infinite.'

As I enter the stadium and proceed to the staff room to sign in for the afternoon I am met by my co-worker Al. He has a tall build but is more on the cuddly teddy bear scale, in terms of his physical appearance, rather than muscular and always seems to be happy at least whilst I'm around. Does make me think how anyone can be happy all the time without any external interventions. What a cynical thought really, I shake my head to rid myself of some obscure thoughts and focus on the fast approaching Al. "Hi Tris, how is my favourite receptionist today?" he says whilst slowing to stop in front of me, Al works as part of the Human Resource Team and is therefore a frequent visitor to the reception area. He is a nice guy really but sometimes he is a little overbearing and doesn't acknowledge hints that I would like to be left alone so I often just reply to his many questions just to appease him. My abnegation upbringing showcasing itself yet again.

"I'm good thanks Al, just getting ready for a busy afternoon" I say with a wide smile as I try to walk past him and through to the staff room. Before I can even make two steps he latches onto my arm and with some force pulls me back to face him, I release a gentle sigh and a quiet groan at the next thing I'm expecting him to ask. With his hold still firmly in place and a slight itch to the top of his head "I was wondering...umm... if you've thought more about my question and... you know wanted to maybe...umm go out some time?" he asks with a glint of both hope and nervousness in his eyes. I've been working here for almost nine months now and for the last five he has been laying the groundwork so to speak and he doesn't really take no or I'm seeing someone else as a deterrent so I constantly hope he finds someone else to centre his attention on. It also doesn't help that I blush in response to his question, as I still find it bizarre that men are actually interested in me, which I'm sure only encourages him. "Sorry Al but I am seeing some-" I begin to say until I hear a remark as someone was passing our spot in the middle of the reception area "she's got someone and she wouldn't be interested anyway Al, just move on already." Christina. I cover my eyes with my hands and sigh both appreciatively and embarrassingly at her candor.

I slowly remove my hands as I feel him release his grip on my arm and look into his eyes as he tries to cover up what looks to be sadness that has swept over his face. It is his turn now for his face to go red with what exact emotion, I'm not sure. "Sorry about Christina... but I'm just not interested in you that way and I am seeing someone and I'm sure you don't want to be with a single mother anyways" I say gently in a way to lessen the blow, I don't like to be the cause of someone's ill feelings. He gives a gentle nod in reply and avoids my eye contact, with a final apology I turn around and head in the direction I planned almost ten minutes ago.

I had planned to talk to Christina about her interruption but she must have left the staff room before I managed to escape from Al. Christina also works for the team but she is part of the media and only occasionally comes into the main building as she says she's busy spreading the word of the team and her face around the city. She put in a good word for me to get this job. What would I do without her? What would Ruby and I do without her?

The rest of my shift goes by relatively fast without incident or any other interactions with Al, which I'm extremely grateful for. As I'm going to clock out I receive a text message from Christina asking if I'll take her home as Will dropped her off this morning, with no mention of her interruption from earlier. It doesn't really surprise me as she probably thought nothing of it as she does have regular candor tendencies. I re-read the text before replying and come to the conclusion that they must've spent the night together. They started dating a few weeks before Uriah and I, and I was praising the lord when Will finally had the courage to ask her out as he'd been tiptoeing around her despite her obvious signals. We'd been on a few double dates with them and I found Will to be a great guy, quiet in contrast to Christina but I think they balance each other out and I'm happy she has found a good man after some not so good guys.

I let her know she has to be at my car in at least 15 minutes as I need to leave in order to pick Ruby up from day care.

She did manage to make it just in time and we took the time to drive to the day care centre to talk. "So Al still bothering you huh? Wish he'd get the message already" she states boldly.

I sigh and nod in agreement "speaking of Al thanks for before! Totally made it awkward... but I suppose it was needed because I really didn't know how to let him down but hopefully now he will leave it alone" I reply.

"Sometimes you just have to say it how it is because people like Al, they don't do subtle. He better get the hint because next time I won't be as nice" she pointedly says. I almost spit out the water I had just taken a drink of at the thought of her earlier statement being classified as nice, and also silently hope she is right and that he has gotten the hint.

We make some more small talk until I decide to bring up her and Will and I see my loud outspoken best friend basically turn to mush before my eyes. Boy does she like him. She says nothing happened and that they just talked and watched movies all night and the next thing she knows its morning and they're both still cuddled together on the couch. After a little more questioning I decide to drop the subject because I have been on the other end of her interrogations with both Tobias and Uriah and I never enjoy them.

I think I spoke too soon because next thing I know Christina is asking me, well, more insisting that she will look after Ruby tonight whilst Uriah and I go on a date. "C'mon girl, he needs to spend some time with just you and you, well frankly you need some adult time without baby dribble on you. Plus I get to spend some time with my precious Ruby." I agree that I need some adult interaction because apart from work I'm always with Ruby and I know I have been neglecting Uriah, his feelings and our relationship. After little thought I decide that I do in fact want to go out with Uriah tonight and Christina texts him for me to ask and in a matter of minutes he replies that he'd love too. Only thing is now I am subject to a Christina make over...

 **Uriah POV**

I was leaving work at the car garage when I heard my phone beep to see that Tris had texted me. I smiled widely and opened it to see she was asking if I wanted to go out for dinner tonight and without hesitation I responded with a definite yes and a suggestion to go to the local Italian. I might have been a little too eager but I don't want Tris to have any doubts over me in our relationship as I know she has plenty to share for the both of us without worrying about my commitment.

I hoped none of the other boys were watching me leave the garage because I was basically skipping with joy to my car because I couldn't wait for tonight and I knew I would get some serious stick for it, but at this moment in time I couldn't care less.

I often try not to take her too far from home when it is just the two of us because I know she hates leaving Ruby and if I'm being honest I think she fears that she will somehow be taken away from her if she is gone for too long. She has been through a lot in only 23 years; losing her parents, to a degree her brother, and of course Four, she has rightfully has a fear of abandonment and that everyone she grows close to is bound to leave her. Plus Ruby is her constant tie to Four and I'm no dummy I know she still loves him, despite her on a number of occasions declaring her hatred towards him for leaving her and having to raise Ruby alone.

I've known Four for a little longer than Tris as when he was 18, and I 16, he came to live with mum, Zeke and I after having a troubled time at home. I don't know much about his background like Zeke and Tris do but enough to consider him a brother like figure and someone I hold with high esteem. It is why it was so difficult to start a relationship with Tris because although he just deserted her I felt an obligation to respect his relationship with her and not give in to my feelings. Initially after he left I was purely there for her as a friend and a shoulder to cry on which was exacerbated when she found out she was pregnant. It didn't change my feelings for her but I knew not to try anything whilst she was pregnant and I just remained a pillar for her to lean on.

A few months after Ruby was born I started staying longer at night and we were able to talk, _really talk_. I saw her in some of her darkest moments and ultimately it was what brought us closer together and I just had to have enough courage to ask her out and the rest sorted itself out.

I stole a few kisses here and there at the start and as time progressed we would have more passionate kisses once Ruby was put to bed. Despite the lack of physical intimacy that has yet to occur I don't feel as though I need to rush into anything because I don't want to scare her off.

I'm a man and have needs of course but I don't mind waiting because I believe Tris is the type of girl worth waiting for. I do however still have lingering doubts that if the day ever arose in which Four returns that I would be second choice, because even when he isn't here I still feel like I'm competing with a ghost.

 **Okay so thought I'd end it here but let me know if you would like to read about their date and in whose point of view but it will probably be a short one if that is the case. Thank you and hopefully another update won't be too far away!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi, decided against the date for this chapter but it may work its way into other chapters later on. Hope you enjoy this one!**

 **Chapter 4 - Tobias**

I've just been escorted back to my room by what can only be described as men on some serious steroids and I feel as though my plan is starting to gain some traction. Don't get me wrong there is still quite a bit to do in order to assure my safety and Marcus' downfall and I'm constantly driven to escape as I look around my small dingy room which can only be described as a box consisting of four walls, a tiny wardrobe, a pathetic excuse of a bed and a small window which provides me with minute exposure to the reality of the world I now feel an outsider to.

Every time I'm brought back to the room or wake up from sleep, which is rare these days, I am constantly reminded of my childhood and the fear that now constantly simmers below the surface threatening to boil over.

 _"_ _This is for your own good Tobias"_ he would say repeatedly whilst shoving me into the small closet upstairs where I could spend from an hour to a day cramped inside. I actually started to believe that it was normal for any child to endure what I did and he always use to tell me that _"_ _pain is for the greater good"_ but of course that pain was always for me to bear, never him. I became aware of the fact that no one should be treated like this, let alone a defenceless child. I decided to leave at 18 and I never looked back but it always took me a while to understand that it wasn't my fault and that he was just a sick masochist.

My mother... well I felt entirely different about that. I was only 8 when she died and I felt responsible, I still do. She was his punching bag for a number of years and I knew what was going on but I was too scared to intervene, as most children would be, but if I had she might still be here.

He became a lot more aggressive towards me after she died and he would frequently remind me that, _"_ _you're the reason she's dead; I can't even bear to look at your face. It is entirely your fault."_

Day after day and year after year of being told this only firmed my belief that I was responsible. I've had many people over the years tell me I can't possibly have predicted what would occur and that it has never been my fault but I find it hard to believe when I use to peek around the corner and see Marcus beating her, belittling her and on numerous occasions threatening her life.

I should have helped her but I didn't, and in the end she couldn't even stand looking at me as I'm sure looking into my eyes only reminded her of him and what I would most likely become.

She ended up taking her own life. She chose to leave me behind. I deserved it because I didn't help her.

It is fair to say then that being in this room causes me great anxiousness and it is a continuous struggle to breathe due to the fear that the walls are closing in on me. I try not to move much because it will only cause me to realise how small the space is and trigger a panic attack. You would have thought after almost two years of being locked in this room that I would have gotten use to it but it is definitely not the case. The only way I can maintain my composure is to think of _her_.

In the early stages of our relationship Tris bore witness to my fear of confined spaces, which at the time I really wish she hadn't but am so grateful in hindsight that she did. We were having a day out just enjoying each other's company when Tris decided she wanted me to try on a suit as she was thinking of going to her Universities ball and wanted to see what I'd look like. I was very adamant that I wasn't going to do it but when you look into her stormy blue and grey eyes there is no denying her.

Even that early on in our relationship she could have asked me to do almost anything and I would just so I could see her smile, it was a sight to behold and knowing that I contributed to it made my heart swell.

She eventually picked one out and we were directed to the changing rooms. They were fully enclosed with only one full length mirror on the inside adjacent to the door. We both walked in and she hung the suit on the side for me to try on and as she was turning to leave the door shut and of course, just in my luck, it was jammed. As it was only really built for one person, having two made it a tight squeeze.

As Tris huffed in frustration and continuously attempted to open the door and scream for someone to help us out I slumped down the wall, knees up with my head in my hands trying to keep my breathing in check as not to alert her. _"_ _Hello, hey, anybody! The door won't... Tobias"_ she gasped as I assumed she had finally seen me on the floor with an inability to breathe properly _._

I had told her my real name and a bit of my history with Marcus only a few days before and each time I heard her say my name since it awoke something within me, and only she could have made the name I had associated with pain be something I could never get tired of hearing her say.

 _"_ _Hey, hey, look at me"_ she said whilst pulling my face to hers and kissing my eyelids which were tightly scrunched together. I slowly opened my eyes and was met with her worried look and a face which was clearly questioning my, obvious, abnormal reaction to being stuck in a changing room.

 _"_ _I would have thought being locked in a room alone with me would have elicited a somewhat different reaction..."_ she whispered in my ear which caused me to release a small nervous chuckle. She was getting even closer to me and despite feeling as though the walls were closing in on me I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I managed to mumble _"_ _confined spaces..can't..handle...walls..stuck"_ and a flash of realisation swept across her face but was quickly replaced with one of what I can only describe as adoration. She ended up straddling me and whispering affectionate and supporting words to me until we were, after what felt like hours, found and repeatedly apologised to. I never bought the suit but that day changed everything. I began to look at her completely differently and despite my hesitation of letting someone into my heart, she was firmly taking a hold of it and I knew I wouldn't ever get it back, not that I minded in the slightest.

Recalling that memory, the sensation of her touch and the way she smelt always has the ability to calm me down and allows me to at least attempt to get a few hours sleep, at the most.

This room has been 'home' for the duration of my stay and apart from weekly accompanied excursions into quiet areas around the city I am either in here or on the computers. I try and spend as much time as I can in the control room as it is the key to my plan. Part of what I'm doing is when looking through multiple feeds of footage from Marcus' targets I am altering the code and creating a trace to this location as the feed isn't normally accessible to everyday people so it should raise some eyebrows. I'm also creating messages that if linked together will alert the police, it is a tedious task which requires patience and balance in order to avoid obvious detection but making it obvious enough that a trained eye will catch on.

I have probably left in abundance of 500 coded messages and none effective as I'm still sitting here surrounded by a wall of screens and guarded by Marcus's most trusted men. I just hoped that one soul would see my pleas for help, all I needed was for one person to question what they saw and they would not only save me but all those unknowingly targeted by Marcus and his thug acquaintances.

It was getting late and my eyes were beginning to sting and I was struggling to keep them open when all of a sudden whilst reviewing the code from tape of a subject I caught sight of unusual symbols of code which shouldn't be there. I most certainly didn't put them there, which only meant one thing. I immediately became more alert and after quickly scanning the room to see my guards pretty much incapacitated I began retracing all footage and sifting through it to find any other abnormal signs.

I attempted to put it together to try and make sense of it and after numerous attempts to decipher the code I made a breakthrough and managed to find the message 'help is coming.'

I was immediately overcome with emotion, could this be what I've been waiting for?

 **Sorry that this one isn't as long but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless and I appreciate all the reviews and feedback**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone, thank you so much for you reviews, favourites and follows it really encourages me to write and hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Chapter 5 – Tobias**

It has been a few days since I managed to decipher the message which stated that help was on its way. So far nothing has really happened to assure me that it is the case.

I am however becoming acutely aware of how Marcus's lackeys have seemingly been more on edge than usual, as if they are just waiting for something to happen. I'm not sure if it is my mind conjuring up what I want to see in desperate hope or in reality things are in fact starting to crumble.

Yesterday Marcus paid me a rare visit in my room which caught me off guard. He never has more to say to me than a few sentences but I sensed that this time around he wanted an extended chat. Didn't mean I had to be an active participant though, much to his obvious frustration.

Thinking about it now, he too looked more on edge which is a rarity and I wonder how I didn't notice it at the time. But really, of course I wasn't very aware during our 'chat' because I was too busy enjoying myself in a small room, in which he was the reason for this exact fear which only exacerbated my reaction. I was beginning to see that years of a facade which showed nothing other than complete control were beginning to take their toll and I was provided with a rare glimpse into a man who was really, for lack of better words, a complete and utter coward.

From what I remember he went on to tell me that I need to up the ante in the hunt for his 'targets' as time was of the essence. Suspicious. He also warned me to be a lot more careful as to not raise alarm whilst sifting through private video footage which we shouldn't be privy too. Also suspicious. The rest of my recollection is somewhat blurry as my thoughts were too focused on making sure I remained calm because I didn't want Marcus to see any signs of weakness or feel pride in making a 25 year old man cripple in fear over being confined in a room.

That is why today I'm gathering intelligence as fast as I can, but not necessarily adhering to the cautious approach he specifically asked for. This allows me to both stay under Marcus's radar and hopefully makes enough 'noise' to draw more attention to obvious security breaches.

As the day progressed and turned into night I was escorted back to my room, provided with the standard scorched chicken and rice which didn't look nor smell appetising and left for alone for the remainder of the night.

I've had a constant knot of in my stomach since I found the message which is making it hard to remain placid with all the emotions swirling around my body. Anger. Frustration. Hope. Love and thoughts of this all being over were ever present and flooded my mind of the possibilities of being back where I belong, home.

I must have unknowingly fallen asleep because I'm roused by a number of doors being slammed shut and what sounds like a number of feet making their way down the hallway in the direction of my room. Immediately I become alert and rise to listen through the door for any clues as to what is going on. I'm sure my heart rate has skyrocketed and as I begin to slowly move away from the doorway I am suddenly being thrust a number of feet backwards as the door bursts open with a bright ray of light which is affecting my ability to see what is going on, and the fact that I'm sure my head made contact with the concrete floor as I fell.

I try to shield my eyes in order to see but black dots start to cloud my vision and I try to fight it when, through my daze, I faintly hear " _In here,_ _I've got someone!"_

 **Tris POV**

It has been a few weeks since my date with Uriah and he was, as always, a gentlemen. I had decided to drive myself to the Italian he suggested because I didn't want to give him the impression that anything other than a goodnight kiss, or a few, was going to happen. I was quickly talked out of it by Christina who insisted that just because he picks me up and drops me off doesn't mean he thinks that more will come of it.

I always associated Uriah with being somewhat of a goofball and not very serious, and most of the time he is, but seeing him at the door ready to pick me up caused my heart rate to increase tenfold. He looked incredibly dapper in his black button up shirt and dress pants but it was his brown eyes and cheeky grin I was instantly drawn to which only caused me to blush and smile even wider, if that was at all possible.

Despite our somewhat formal attire our conversation was anything but. We most likely caused a lot of probing looks directed to us with our loud conversation clearly juxtaposing the romantic setting the restaurant provided. Although our conversation being anything but formal he remained a true gentleman as he opened the car door for me, pulled out my chair, paid for dinner and did kiss me sweetly goodnight.

It was a very successful night and one I wish to repeat soon, with potentially a little more action to finish the night. I'll know when I'm ready and each day I am falling more deeply for him for not only with our relationship but the one he has with my daughter.

Ruby and Uriah are currently on the floor in my living room where Uriah is making numerous goofy faces at her in the attempt of making her laugh. It is definitely a success because she is giggling up a storm and I stop what I'm doing to admire the scene unfolding before me.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer" Uriah cheekily directs at me as we catch each other's eyes, I stick my tongue out at him and do just that. After taking, what could be considered an incredulous amount of photos I return to packing away the sandwiches I am making for our picnic later on today.

We decided to get the gang together for a picnic at the park, as we all haven't been able to hang out collectively for quite some time. It should be a great way to finish off the weekend and I am really looking forward to having all my closest friends in the same place at once, _almost all my friends._

As we clamber out of the car I go to grab Ruby from her car seat and Uriah grabs the large assortment of blankets, pillows, food and baby necessities. It is a wonder he can see over the mountain of supplies as he attempts to take it all at once to assure only one journey. He never ceases to make me laugh and I cast a cheeky grin in his direction which he returns and precedes to shakes his bottom at me as he walks past.

Just as I turn to walk towards my friends who have all seemed to have arrived Christina hastily grabs Ruby from my arms and proceeds to run back towards the group with my little girl bouncing in delight at the attention she is receiving.

As I walk over I take account of who is here, Marlene and Lynn who are now fussing over Ruby in Christina's arms who looks to have invited Will, there is of course Uriah and also Shauna, but as I look around I see no sign of Zeke. They are usually always together and as far as I am aware he doesn't work weekends.

I greet everybody and take my place next to Shauna who is soaking up the last of the summer sun before autumn rolls along. We indulge in some small talk whilst we bathe in the sun and I'm thankful for how close we have became in the last couple of years. During Tobias's and I's relationship we were often together as her and Zeke, his best friend, were pretty much tied to the hip. Young and in love. We did drift apart after he left as we hadn't any reason to meet up but having Ruby and being with Uriah has re-established our friendship. After a while I take the opportunity to ask her where her other half is but she simply says he has had to leave for a work convention for the weekend, but she doesn't sound too convincing or pleased. I decide to leave it at that but I can sense that something is not as it seems.

The rest of the afternoon is spent enjoying each other's company, playing silly games and indulging in some treats which Marlene has ever so kindly picked up from Dauntless Cafe, which include only Uriah's favourite cake which he has ever so nicely stuffed into his face and of course Ruby follows suit. As we all laugh at the scene before us I take time to appreciate what I have, as these are the moments I truly cherish and as I look around at each of the people enjoying each other's company I come to the conclusion, which I've known all along, that they are my support system, my home, my family.

 **Until next time**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Tobias**

I open my eyes and feel my head violently throbbing. The last thing I remember is standing by my door and then a deep voice which reverberated through me.

I drag my palms down my face in the hope of becoming somewhat aware of my surroundings and as I attempt to sit up a set of strong hands hold me down and I start to panic until they repeat "it's okay, you're safe now" which I'm sure is suppose to settle me down but I can't help but be alarmed.

I must have dozed off again because as my eyes blink open I see that my vision and awareness has returned and I immediately take the opportunity to see where I am. A part of me hopes that I am in fact as the voice said, safe. However a greater part of me fears that this is another test or scare tactic from Marcus, or worse that he has found out what I've been up to, which causes my heart to almost stop as a result.

There is no way I can go back to the small depressing room which has been my existence for almost two years, I don't think I could survive it any longer. I'm surprised I've survived this long as Marcus stripped me of all my strength which I acquired since I left at 18 with just one menacing look.

As I look around at my surroundings I am instantly aware of the sterile white room, similar to a hospital, with vast windows exposing me to the world outside. I approach them hands stretched out palms first to feel the cold glass and inhale deeply at the glimpse of hope that pumps through my veins.

"Finally you are awake, how are you feeling?"

I spin around at the sound of a somewhat familiar voice and am met with a man of tall build, tanned and head to toe in black clothing.

"Um...yeah, I'm alright" I manage to stumble out and with a rather obscure facial expression and a tight hold on the back of my head which is still throbbing. He nods gently and it encourages me to ask what has been lingering on my mind "who are you, are you the police?" I ask and I am met with an incredulous laugh and shake of the head.

"No...definitely not the police" another small laugh escapes him as he slowly approaches me hand stretched out, I am resistant to make contact but something about him makes me feel at ease so I extend my hand and he states "Amar" and as I attempt to return my name he goes on to tell me he already knows who I am.

Confused would be an understatement, how does he know who I am? I never made an effort to be noticed as I have never liked a lot of attention which I am sure is a result of my sheltered and abusive childhood. He senses my discomfort and leads me back over to the bed in the corner of room and tells me that he is an old foe of Marcus's and that my coded messages have been assisting him and his group of vigilantes to take him and his band of devoted followers out.

I stare at him in disbelief as he describes the extent of his mission and how he has been trying to catch Marcus for years and I feel a small part of satisfaction in knowing I contributed to his downfall. He wanted to alert me of his existence long ago but he knew I had to remain in the dark as to not alert Marcus. I am overwhelmed with emotion as I stare at the man who saved me from my living hell and then I have a moment of realisation.

"What happened to him...to...Marcus" I manage to whisper and immediately Amar's expression changes into what I can only describe as a mixture of satisfaction, pain and relief and it is then I know he was taken out. "I'm sorr-" he begins to say but I shake my head insistently and breathe out a sigh of relief.

I can honestly say that the news of Marcus being dead lifted a weight off my shoulders and I knew after 25 years of misery, I was finally free of him. I can't deny that there was always a part of me that wanted him to love me and feel proud of me and that he did have the ability to change but in reality I knew that would never happen. Every child wants to know they are loved and I haven't felt that since I was eight when my mum was still around.

I am an orphan.

Yes I am a grown man but I have no one, no family, not many friends if any and almost certainly no Tris.

Despite now being a free man I feel completely alone and when Amar asks if there is anyone I want to call I'm stuck as to whom would actually remember my existence or feel the desire to help me out. After little thought I give him a number that is imprinted on my brain and hope that they pick up.

After a somewhat heated and emotional call I feel as though all of this is coming to an end and that I will finally be reunited with those that matter the most to me, whether that feeling is reciprocated is still undetermined.

I found that where I was taken after being rescued was an old abandoned hospital which Amar and his group of 'companions' had occupied as their base. It was truly incredible what resources they had access to and I was provided with a tour of the entire building and received a lot of glances which Amar believed was a result of my relation to Marcus.

I can't blame them for their mistrust in thinking I am like him when I too believe I am capable of similar.

The reason they have all banded together is from a mutual experience with Marcus which destroyed their lives and those who they are closest too. Despite Marcus now being eliminated Amar insisted that they would all stay together because they are each others family now. I feel a need to wrench myself from my body and give back all that he has taken and what I have also contributed too, even if that meant sacrificing myself. I don't deserve their kindness and my selfless upbringing is finding it hard to accept help with nothing to provide in return.

I've been here for a couple days now and I'm itching to leave but Amar won't let me go until the person I contacted makes it known that they will in fact be there for me. I think he doubts that I actually did call someone and it only causes me to feel anxious at the thought of them not showing up.

Despite how frustrated I am at Amar I can't help but appreciate his intentions, I don't know what I did to deserve his help but I will forever be grateful. We have been able to get to know each other whilst I've been here and despite him knowing my real name he insists on calling me Four after I told him it is what my friends back home call me, or at least use to. He understands my reasoning for wanting to distance myself from Marcus but he did tell me something I will not forget in a hurry. _"_ _Just because you share blood does not mean you will become him, you have the power to be who you want to be and your ambition in life should be to be happy, because nothing else matters."_

I was about to settle in for another night when I received word that Amar wanted to see me immediately. I rushed to put my black t-shirt on and I embarrassingly tripped in the process of putting my jeans on. I quickly looked around to see if anyone saw and luckily I was the only occupant of six currently inside the bedroom; however my face turned red in awkwardness and embarrassment nevertheless.

I was running through the halls, a custom which I had readily noticed the others doing, feeling the burn in my lungs when I came to an instant halt at the sight that awaited me.

My ability to breathe was further restricted and my mouth was continually opening and closing at a loss for words, and I'm sure my expressions could be likened to that of a goldfish.

After a while of just standing there staring at each other I began to laugh. I can't explain exactly why the overriding feeling was to laugh but it was a release of all the emotions I have bottled up and I couldn't find the valve to make it stop. They both looked at each other and joined in, which must have been a sight to behold for any passerby's.

Whilst I took the time to compose myself I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I instantly broke down. What the hell was happening! I am becoming an emotional wreck. I felt as though I was on a rollercoaster which refused to be stopped and I was merely a passenger waiting for the brakes to kick in.

Once they had held me for a while I was pulled back and then punched in the arm "what the hell man!" I could see and sense anger radiating from him as he awaited my response but all I could manage to say through my tears was "so sorry...I had to leave...I...I...Marcus...Tris...had to."

He nodded weakly and explained Amar had imparted some background information of what had occurred but honestly at this point in time I couldn't think straight, seeing him after all this time, the lingering effects of my concussion and the emotional rollercoaster I was on was nothing in comparison to how I felt when he said "let's go home Four."

He was here, Zeke was here, and he is taking me _home._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Tobias**

After saying my goodbyes and thanking the group of people, especially Amar, to whom I am forever indebted too I was out the door with only the clothes on my back, a spare black t-shirt from Amar, and my crumpled picture of Tris and I which hasn't left my sight since this entire ordeal started.

Just as I thought this day couldn't pull out any more surprises I am met with Zeke's red pickup truck which he has had for what feels like an eternity.

"You drove here?" I say to him with an unbelieving look, he simply shrugs his shoulders and walks towards the car whilst saying "I gathered you have no form of ID so that would prove a little problematic and I know you hate flying, so yes Four I did drive over 12 hours so buckle up boy we have got a long ride home."

I know Zeke was respecting me by not questioning me much, which I greatly appreciated because I really just wanted to forget so instead we just made small talk. I usually hate small talk because it's boring and lacks any real meaning but in this instance I was just enjoying being around my best friend and feeling the wind whip through the window reminding me of my renewed freedom.

I sensed him taking glances over at me every so often and he gave off the vibe that there was something else he knew or wanted to say so I decided to pluck up the courage and ask the question that has been on the tip of my tongue since we started this long trek home over three hours ago. "Umm... do you by any chance know how she's doing?" I didn't need to specify who _she_ was because there was only one woman I would ask about. I looked over at him and his grip on the steering wheel was firm and I could visibly see him tense and I was instantly worried because Zeke was rarely serious, always finding the positives out of any situation much like his brother Uriah.

"Zeke, she's okay..just please tell me if she's okay"

He inhaled, looked over at me with a tight smile and softly said "yeah man, she's good... but it's not for me to talk about her." I nodded to acknowledge I had heard what he said but my mind was racing thinking of all the possible scenarios of how her life had unfolded since I left.

Was she happy? Had she moved on? Would she even want to see me?

I was driving myself crazy and Zeke must have been trying to talk to me as he decided to punch me which instantly broke me out of my trance and I scowled over at him. He chuckled, "sorry Four" and through his laughter he continued saying "man I've missed that glorious frown. I have some food and drinks in the back if you want and you should probably get some sleep, you look dreadful."

Zeke, never one to beat around the bush.

I decided to take his advice as despite getting a couple of good night's sleep when I was rescued I haven't slept properly in who knows how long. Night and day often merged into one and being in this car with Zeke and the constant feel of fresh air made me feel more at ease and relaxed then I have been in a long time. I had to convince him to let me keep the window open as I didn't want to wake up feeling as though this had all been one big dream and that I was still that dingy dark suffocating room which was my personal hell.

I'm broken out of my slumber by the bright rays of the sun refracting through the windshield and I instantly attempt to shield my eyes from the exposure which my body isn't use to. I rub my eyes, stretch and I am immediately alert as my heart jumps at the sign I see ahead. Chicago 170 miles.

Zeke must have driven non-stop all night as we are a mere 2 and a half hours out and my throat is dry and my palms are sweaty at how close I am to returning to the city which holds memories, both good and bad, and people who my heart has never forgotten about.

"Nearly there, how are you feeling?" I just look over at him and straight away he puts one hand up defensively "okay, stupid question. I just want you to know that I'm glad you're back and I'm not going to question you on everything right now but just know I do want answers...and I'm sure someone else will too.." he mumbles the last bit so I didn't quite catch what he said but I got the gist of it.

I rub my palms frustratingly down my face at the predicament I find myself in, I'm angry at how Marcus was yet again able to ruin my life and how this entire situation destroyed the life I had created by myself. I know Tris won't easily forgive me but I'm hoping she will at least give me a chance to explain that I never wanted to leave her but I had to in order to keep her safe. I didn't ever want to be the one that hurt her, I knew what she'd been through in her short time on Earth and I never wanted to add to that. Knowing I have is something I cannot forgive myself for even if my intentions were to keep her out of harm's way.

I must have been so consumed in my own inner thoughts that I failed to notice that we are now parked on Zeke's driveway. I take a deep breath, step out of the car and with a reassuring pat on the back from Zeke I follow him up to his front door. He had told me during the drive that my apartment had to be vacated and that he brought some of my stuff to his place so he insisted I stay with him, as after all I was still his _family._

I am instantly made aware that this is not a bachelor pad as it was before I left and that Shauna has imparted her feminine touch. I am happy for him because the instant he met Shauna he gave away with his wandering eye and I knew she was it for him. It does make me realise how much I have missed out on and once he reassured me Shauna was at work and wouldn't be back for a few hours I began to relax. It wasn't that I didn't get along with her it was more the fact of how she was going to react to my sudden appearance in her home after disappearing without word for almost two years. She was close to Tris before I left and I'm not sure how welcome she would make me feel. Zeke lead me to my room where a number of boxes are situated in the corner, which I assume hold some of my possessions, he tells me to feel at home and with a slightly awkward hug and a reminder of how happy he is I'm back, he leaves me to settle in and I begin sifting through the contents of the boxes not knowing what will resurface.

Tris POV

Today was just like every other day; stumbling out of bed and getting Ruby ready for day care, dropping her off and heading to work where I had the morning shift which fortunately didn't involve any interaction with Al. Once I finished I decided to have some Tris time and picked up a simple packed lunch from the cafe at work and take it to Millennium Park. I found myself thinking back to the picnic over the weekend and how great it was for us all to be in the same place for once and we all committed to making sure it is not as long between our next get-together.

Whilst enjoying a peaceful afternoon in the sun my mind began wondering to the vivid dreams I have been having lately. I haven't told anyone about them because; well there isn't another reason other than my resistance to talk about the subject of my dreams. It would be opening a can of worms which I have been trying to keep a lid on from quite some time.

They always start with those piercing blue eyes staring so deeply at me that it pierces through to my core and I am overcome with emotion. He says my name with his husky voice which makes me weak at my knees and all I can do is stare at him mouth slightly ajar. They have progressed probably further than a dream should, especially when I have a boyfriend which is not the person at the centre of my dreams. It also doesn't help that when I wake up in the morning I am greeted with those exact eyes which grace the face of my beautiful girl, albeit they invoke a much different reaction when I see them on her.

I don't really know how to make sense of them as I haven't experienced dreams with him in them that vividly since before I gave birth to Ruby. They changed after she was born as they were about his interaction with her rather than me and when Uriah and I became more serious they all about stopped. I'm trying not to think about them too much but their sudden re-emergence at a time when I haven't been happier with Uriah has me mystified.

After being alone with my thoughts for just over an hour I decide to pick up Ruby and visit Uriah at work in order to remove any after thoughts of the dreams I have been having. He always insists we are welcome to visit him but a car garage isn't always the safest place for a 16 month old to be wondering around, and yes I'm one of those mummy's that insist on emphasising the exact months of my child's age.

However today I feel as though I need to see him to replace the image in my mind and as we pull up out back I am greeted with a an image that will most certainly do that. There he stood shirtless with grease and sweat across his well sculpted torso and that grin which makes my heart flutter. I blush at the sight and as I exit the car and plant my feet on the ground I am swept up in a pair of sweaty arms which I try to escape from, but I end up succumbing to his superior strength and I receive a tender kiss in return. A few cat calls from his colleagues brought me back to reality so I lightly push him away in which he gives me a pout and I a shy smile in return before I turned to take Ruby out of her car seat.

He ends up giving us a tour of his workplace and I was also able to meet his co-workers who all seem very nice and I can now see why he is so enthusiastic about going to work each day, if only we all shared in that enthusiasm.

I left Uriah at work and the rest of the day was spent playing with Ruby and tidying the house in preparation for his visit later in the evening. I wanted him to come over for dinner so we could spend some quality time together as he was expecting a busy few weeks at work and if I'm being honest I wanted to dispel my thoughts from earlier and replace them with Uriah and how he made me feel. We are in a good place and I don't want anything to get in the way of that, especially my absurd dreams which will never become a reality as he isn't here, Uriah is and I don't see him as a replacement but someone I could potentially be with for the long haul. Something I didn't think I'd get the opportunity to say after Tobias left but I'm happy and I don't want anything to dispel that.

 **Hope you enjoyed this one, not long now...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - Tobias**

I didn't spend long rummaging through the boxes Zeke had kept for me as I have never been a materialistic person, nor very sentimental and therefore there wasn't much to sift through. They mostly contained clothes, and a few nic nacs, but I did manage to find a collection of photos which I had accumulated throughout the years. Ones which featured my mother were a relief to find as they are the last piece of her I have and those of Tris and I which I smiled both fondly and regretfully at. There could have been so many more of these to add to the collection but I gave up that chance a long time ago and the way Zeke has been deflecting my questions relating to her have me anxious.

Being able to fall onto a proper bed in a place in which I feel entirely at ease has my eyes instantly drooping as the weight of my exhaustion hits me. I don't know how long I was out before I heard raised voices down the end of the corridor which stirred me awake. I didn't exactly want to pry into a private conversation but I felt I was most likely the subject of the conversation and so I strained to hear what they were saying.

 _"_ _You can't just bring him here Zeke!"_ I heard from an aggressive whisper belonging to a feminine voice. Shauna. She must be back from work. _"_ _What was I suppose to do, just leave him there. You didn't see him, he..."_ I what, he became quieter but I still strained to hear him. _"_ _He looked terrible Shauna, a shell of his former self...he's my best friend...hell even my brother-"_

 _"_ _How are you going to explain this to Uriah, your brother"_ she emphasised on the word brother and I frowned at what Uriah had to do with me being back, I'm excited to see him again why wouldn't it be reciprocated?

I don't want to intrude but I feel I have been listening a little longer than I should; old habits die hard I guess. I always attempted to eavesdrop when Marcus had colleagues come over to the house when I was younger, I knew if I got caught I would most definitely get punished for it but it was a small act of rebellion and defiance against him.

I swung my legs onto the floor and put on a pair of old sweatpants which I'd found in one of the boxes and a plain black t-shirt. I made my way out of the room and followed the voices which were still hushed but easily heard nevertheless and gave a slight cough to make my presence known. They both immediately ceased their conversation and turned to greet me as I walked into the kitchen.

I rubbed the back of my neck in anticipation for how Shauna would react to me as the conversation I overheard had me slightly worried I wasn't welcome.

She smiled softly at me and approached me slowly with her arms a stretched and despite my dislike of physical contact with most people, I willingly stepped into the hug as my deprivation of contact allowed me to appreciate the feeling, just this once. She didn't say anything and neither did I but once she took a step back she had a stern look on her face and one I knew spelt trouble.

She shook her head numerous times with her eyes clenched shut, hands on her hips and I just stood there waiting for the word explosion I knew was coming my way.

It didn't, not really.

She raised her head and made eye contact with me and in a harsh tone she said

"how could you? I don't care about how you may have thought it was the best thing to do, because it wasn't. You left a wake of destruction behind which we all had to pick up after and don't think you can come back after two years and everything will be how you left it, because it isn't and never will be!."

She stood firmly in her place staring me down and when she knew the words had sunk in she pushed past me and left me standing there assessing how juxtaposed her reaction towards me was.

The rest of the night was fairly tense and I offered to leave on multiple occasions but Zeke insisted I stay and reminded me of my limited options for other accommodation which I couldn't argue with, even though there was one place I really wanted to go, but I kept that to myself. There were multiple conversations between the pair throughout the night which were of similar intensity but they were too quiet for me to overhear.

I found my exhaustion lessening throughout the night and it opened my mind to thoughts which I've been trying to keep out, and they are now plaguing my dreams. It's fair to say I didn't sleep very well last night from a mixture of replaying the events of the night and the recollections which haunted me when I did manage to fall asleep. I feel an intense need for fresh air so I take a quick shower and sit out in the back garden absorbing the sun and feeling refreshed as the cool breeze swirls around me.

I've been out here for a couple hours when I hear the rumble of an engine pull up out front of the house. It's an abnormally quiet entrance into the house as the last I knew Zeke was an exuberant greeter when one entered his 'crib' as he called it, but the atmosphere has been a bit stifling lately so I shouldn't read into it too much.

I'm not sure if I should make my presence known but I'm in desperate need of a drink and that need is significantly outweighing the inner debate of whether or not I should remain hidden. I don't think either of them has told anyone I'm back, but the topic hasn't been openly discussed so who knows but I decide to throw caution to wind.

I reach the door and pull the handle but it won't budge, it was fine when I came out so I use a little aggression as I assume it must be jammed and after numerous attempts it opens but not without a loud thump. As I step over the threshold and raise my eyes I am met immediately with Zeke staring at me stunned and I have little time to question the look as I scan the room until my eyes land on a pair of stormy gray ones which I'm sure are burning holes into me.

The world could be falling apart around me and I wouldn't notice. I'm too mesmerised by the sight before me, one I didn't think I would be privileged to ever see again. My eyes roam over her as I take her in, she's just as beautiful as I remember and the distance between us it too great in my mind and its infuriating. I'm broken out of my trance by a sharp sting on the left side of my face and I realise I have walked the length of the room and planted myself in front of her and she must have slapped me. I don't blame her and I'm happy to see she is still as fierce as ever but that thought is instantly forgotten as she spins on her heels and storms out the front door.

I'm stunned in place for a few moments before I take off after her, "Tris!" I yelled whilst running after her, she bypassed her car and continued running down the street.

Tris POV

I had a few errands to run today as I didn't have to go into work so I took Ruby to Christina's as she was going to watch her whilst I ran around town for a few hours. After my goodbyes I got back in the car and as I was about to set off I cast my eyes over the front seat and noticed the sweater Shauna lent me over the weekend. "Damn it" I muttered as I now had to add going around to her and Zeke's place to drop it off onto my ever growing list of things to do today.

After I had finished going to the post office, bank and doing a spot of grocery shopping I was questioning whether or not I should drop the sweater off now as I'm not sure if both Shauna and Zeke are at work or wait until later tonight.

I decided as I was more or less passing their house on the way to Christina's that I should at least attempt to see if anyone was in fact there. As I was pulling up onto the drive I noticed Zekes' pickup truck and assumed he must have gotten back from his business trip either yesterday or today and I was glad I wouldn't have to make another trip over here later today to drop it off. I grabbed the sweater and made my way to the front door and knocked loudly a few times as I know Zeke can get pretty preoccupied and would most likely miss me knocking. A few knocks later the door swung open and Zeke was standing there, mouth agape with his eyes alert, refusing to meet mine. It is as though I caught him doing something he shouldn't be doing and if it's in any way going to hurt Shauna I want to know. I go to walk through the door when Zeke blocks me, making me more suspicious, I cast him a stern glare and barge past him when he expected me to back down. Nothing seems out of place when I look around the front room so I turn around to face him, arms crossed and say "so you're back from your business trip..." he doesn't miss my accusing tone and I can see him trying to formulate a response when a loud thump interrupts and causes me to turn around.

I can't move as my body is in shock at the sight before me. He can't be here; he can't be its not possible. I'm sure my eyes are burning a hole through him as I can't seem to tear my eyes from him in fear he'll disappear as quickly as he appeared. I see and feel his eyes roam over me and the hairs on my neck stand to attention and my body shudders at the overwhelming emotion that only he is able make me experience. That feeling is quickly overtaken by pure rage as the reality of the situation starts to sink in. How dare he look at me like that when he chose to leave me and as I notice him start walking towards me my anger is starting to overpower me and the next thing I know I have raised my right hand and slapped him across the face. I glare at him and as his scent floods its way into my vicinity I can't help but choke at the emotions it creates so I turn on my heels and bolt out of the house and down the street. I don't stop at my car I just keep running, running from him, my past and everything the last few years has thrown at me, I hear him shout my name but I don't stop, I can't.

 **Hope you enjoyed this one, next chapter will definitely contain some more drama and it should only be a few days until it is up.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi, thank you so much for all the reviews, I love reading them! This chapter sort of went in a different direction to how I had planned but I think it turned out well and really sets the next chapter up.**

 **Chapter 9 – Tris**

I kept running for what felt like an eternity, everything I'd held in for almost two years was flooding out of me, my lungs were burning, water was pouring from my eyes and I didn't stop until exhaustion crippled my ability to go any further. I felt sick to the core, I just couldn't believe he was here and I felt my heart break apart all over again at the resurfacing of the memories and feelings which I have been trying to keep hidden.

As I plant myself on the curb I take the time to calm myself down and attempt to make out exactly where I am. I can't see any familiar landmarks and I sigh in frustration at the predicament I am in. I was finally beginning to feel happy again and I felt as though my life was starting to get back on track and there he appeared right in front of me, the man who left me and the man I loved so deeply.

I was so caught up in my own processing of the events that have just unfolded that I failed to realise the wider impact his return will have. I put my head in my hands and think about my little girl, _our_ _little girl,_ who he knows nothing about and I just hope he wants to be part of her life because she needs her dad. That does however bring the realisation that I will have to face him at some point, but I don't think I can right now. I pull out my phone and try and think of who could find me and pick me up. Can't be Christina because she has Ruby and no car, can't be Uriah because he is at work and I don't think I can face him right now with the emotions that are flowing through me. My few other friends are also at work or college which therefore leaves me with the limited option of Zeke but that probably entails Tobias, so that is a no. I have to withhold a scream when I attempt to turn my phone on and realise there is zero battery, I look to the heavens in disbelief as the only other option makes itself apparent. As I have no idea where I am I have to try and retrace my steps and get back to my car without either Zeke or Tobias noticing.

I've been walking for a while now and fatigue is creeping its way in as the emotional and physical toll of the day is starting to set in. I can only imagine the looks I am receiving as I walk down the street with the marginal amount of mascara I put on running down my face and my hair most likely sticking up every which way.

A sigh of relief escapes from my lips as I realise I am now on Zekes street and I slow my approach to attract as minimal attention as possible however as I move towards my car I see the one person I definitely didn't want to face right now sat on the front lawn as though he is just waiting for me. I have an internal debate as to whether or not to make a dash for my car in the hope ill escape in time or just wait it out and hope he heads inside soon, but if he is still as stubborn as I have known him to be that could make it a very long night.

I grit my teeth and decide to bite the bullet as I'm sick of standing around and I really need to go and see my daughter as she can give me the comfort I so desperately desire despite her obvious likeness to Tobias. I compose myself and make a mad dash to my car but the second he sees me he is up in a flash and it forces me to move faster towards my car but just as I am reaching for the handle he manages to catch my arm. I turn to look at him and wriggle out of his grasp and set my gaze firmly upon him. I wasn't going to confront him now but it seems as though I won't be able to leave unless I do. I am furious and my head seems to be shaking on its own accord as I struggle to speak.

"Tris" he says softly and it triggers something inside me.

"No, don't you Tris me! Almost two years Four" I spat knowing that using his other name would hurt him.

"No word, no goodbye, nothing...you just left me. After everything we had been through and out of everyone you are the one who knows how much loss I have experienced in my life and you added yourself to that list without a second thought!" I could have kept going but I was running out of steam so I turned around ready to leave when once again he attempted to catch my arm but I turned my head and with a fierce tone I simply stated "stay the hell away from me!" as I got into the car and drove to pick up Ruby.

When I got to Christina's she instantly knew something was up but I immediately bypassed her and picked Ruby up as she wobbled towards me with a big grin as she babbled "mamama." I engrossed myself in her as I brushed her hair away from her face with my hand and swayed her in my arms and I didn't realise I had started crying until Christina dangled tissues in front of my face. She had a stern but worried look on her face as I took them off of her and I'm sure she is questioning how running errands could possibly evoke this emotion.

"He's back" I managed to utter.

"Who's back?" she questioned quizzically. I gave her a pointed look from her to Ruby and hoped she would put the pieces together so I didn't have to say his name aloud. A few moments of her looking from Ruby to me and me to Ruby it looked as though she had connected the dots.

"Holy sh..crap, like he is really here. Chicago here, like right here right now?" All I did was nod to confirm what she said was true and she pulled me in for a hug with Ruby still on my hip.

We stayed in that position for a while until the front door swung open and in walked Uriah. _Just who I needed to see in this moment.._

His smile instantly drops as he sees how upset I am and he is instantly by my side whilst Christina excuses herself from the room. "Tris what's wrong?" he immediately asked.

"Nothing" I replied whilst shaking my head and trying to keep the tears in.

"C'mon Tris, I know you better than that. You know you can tell me anything" I gave him a sincere smile and gave him the same response I gave to Christina, "he's back." He is just as perplexed as Christina was and it dispels the lingering thoughts I had of him already knowing as Tobias is staying at Zeke's house. I can see he is processing my response and then his eyes shoot up to meet mine.

"Four is back?" he questioned tentatively and I, again, nodded. His jaw was clenching and I could see his mind working in overdrive and it is a stark contrast to his usual demeanour but he surprises me when he wraps his arms around me, providing me with some comfort but a part of me is envisioning being held in a different pair of arms. _Stop it Tris you can't be thinking like this._

"Where's he staying?" Christina asks as I start collecting all of Ruby's possessions so I can finally go home. "Zeke and Shauna's" I reply sternly and they both look surprised at the fact that they have both been able to hide it from us all. I am making it plainly obvious that I just want to go home and after they catch on Christina insists I let Uriah take me home and stay with me for a little while. I try and talk them out of it as Uriah is really pressed at work and he doesn't need to babysit me but after a back and forth dispute I end up reluctantly agreeing just so I can relax in my own space.

When we get home I put Ruby down for the night and take residence on the couch and take the time to try and process everything that is going on.

 _What is this like for Uriah and what will it mean for the two of us?_

 _Can I ever forgive Tobias?_

 _How am I going to tell him about Ruby?_

 _How will he feel about missing out on the first 16 months of his daughters life?_

I feel the weight shift on the couch and Uriah's voice catches me off guard, "you okay?"

I look up to him as he put his arm around me, "I'm fine," he didn't look like he bought it but a sweet kiss on the forehead did manage to ease some of the stress I was feeling.

"You know you will have to tell him about Ruby"

"I don't have too; she could pass her off as yours?" I stated naively and he gave a sad chuckle in return.

"I don't think that could work at all seeing as though I have brown eyes for a start... and I am much better looking" he added cheekily. That's the Uriah I know. I sighed in defeat as I know at some point I have to tell Tobias and I'm sure if he even catches sight of her he will be able to connect the dots.

I groaned as a knock on the door woke both Uriah and I up, we must have fallen asleep on the couch. "I'll get it" I mumbled tiredly and I exhaled as I opened the door at what must have been an ungodly time. For the millionth time today I am in complete disbelief at the man stood before me. "Tobias" quietly escapes my lips before I even have the opportunity to process my thoughts and I can't help but like the feeling that his name rolling of my lips gives me. He gives me a timid smile and scratches the back of his neck, a nervous tendency of his, I see him inhale deeply as he begins to speak "I...um...I know you don't want to see me..and..and..I know it's late...I was going to give you some time to think but..ummm...can we talk?"

I look over my shoulder at Uriah who remains unaware of who is at the door but is giving me a curious expression; I turn back to Tobias slowly in order to buy some time before I have to respond. "It's late To-Four." I know it hurts him when I don't call him Tobias but with Uriah, unknowingly to him behind me and because of the pain he has inflicted on me I can't knowingly say his name, _not yet_. I press my hand to my forehead to try and compose myself "can you please just leave me alone" I say half-heartedly and I know he senses that as he takes a small cautious step towards me and slowly shakes his head whilst staring directly at me.

"I can't Tris, I tried, but I can't. I never wanted to leave you...I...missed you so much Tris."

My legs almost give out from under me as I sense his vulnerability which tugs at my heart strings and I take the time to really examine him and he looks dishevelled and exhausted, a clear disparity from the man I had known. As he attempts to move his hand towards me I become all too aware of the hurt he has caused me over the last couple of years and I take a step back to only hit something behind me.

 **So what do we think of that? The next chapter promises to let a few cats out of the bag so to speak**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 - Tris**

 _As he attempts to move his hand towards me I become all too aware of the hurt he has caused me over the last couple of years and I take a step back to only hit something behind me._

I am caught off guard as I realise it isn't something behind me it is someone, Uriah. My head drops slightly as this couldn't have been going any worse and now I have to contend with the two of them eyeing each other up. I step a little to the side so they both have a better view of each other, I sense Tobias is unsure as to why Uriah is here so late but he knows we have always been close so hopefully he doesn't question it right now. "You're back" Uriah states to break the silence and Tobias looks at him questionably as this probably wasn't the greeting he would of expected.

"Yep" he replies and gives him a soft smile "it's really good to see you Uri."

Silence consumes us. All of us are at a loss as to how to handle this situation and I can sense Uriah is trying to be subtle as he rubs the small of my back but I can't help but feel he is claiming me but I do appreciate his touch nevertheless.

Tobias clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck as the stifling mood and tension reaches its peak and as Tobias is about to say something he casts his eyes down and I freeze as I am sure he has noticed Uriah's, more than friendly touch.

I immediately tense as Tobias glares at Uriah so I turn towards Uriah and beckon him to look at me at which he does and without saying anything I encourage him to give us some space. He looks unsure as he takes a glance behind me at Tobias but I let him know I will be fine and with a reluctant nod he gestures that he won't be far.

I slowly turn around and I am met with a harsh stare and as I look into his eyes I attempt to read his emotions but he has his Four mask firmly in place. Aggravated is not a strong enough word to describe how I am feeling. "No" I state firmly and this catches him off guard.

"You can't do this...you can't turn up at my front door so late at night after being gone for so long..." I'm trying to hold my tears in and keep my voice steady but I know I'm not fooling him as his glare softens, he tries to interject but I simply put my hand up to let him know I am not finished.

"Almost two years...two years! You can't comeback and...you can't...expect everything to be how you left it. You don't know how hard it was...I am allowed to have moved on because you gave me no other choice and I am not going to apologise for that."

I see his Four persona fall away and his composure starts to break apart as I see him start to let my words sink in. "Tris...I.." his voice breaks and wavers as he continues "you and Uriah?" he questions and I give him a small nod of confirmation as he clenches his jaw and tilts his head back, I assume to stop any tears that may escape. My heart constricts at the sight as the man before me who was always a pillar of strength for me is now crumbling before my eyes. We are both extremely emotional and I want to leave it at that before anymore can be said but he thinks differently as he begins talking again.

"I can't ever apologise enough for leaving and I never...never wanted to hurt you...but...I..didn't have a choice." My mind processes and questions what he means by he didn't have a choice but I don't have long before he continues.

"He threatened you Tris...and I didn't want to, please trust me when I say I didn't want too but he gave me no other option-"

"Who, who gave you no choice?" I interjected firmly

He took a deep breath and his eyes momentarily darkened as he replied "Marcus."

I'm utterly floored by his revelation and I shake my head in disbelief. I thought he was completely out of the picture as the last I knew Tobias had had zero contact with him since he left home at 18. I don't know exactly how I became a part of any of this and I'm struggling to believe him. I always wanted to believe there was something bigger as to the reason he just upped and left but I can't move past the voice in my head telling me it was because he simply didn't want to be with me anymore.

Both my mind and body suddenly decide I can no longer handle what today has thrown at me and without considering what he may think I quickly step back and close the door. I place my forehead on the door and after a few minutes I'm surprised to hear Tobias's retreating steps. I'm emotionally broken and as Uriah approaches I simply tell him I need to be alone. He tries to reason with me and tell me he will sleep on the couch and watch Ruby for me but I snap and tell him I can look after my own daughter and I don't need anyone. He looks hurt but at this point in time I can't find the energy to be concerned so I watch him leave and then get Ruby from her crib and take her with me to bed as I desperately crave the comfort she provides.

 **Tobias POV**

It's the early hours of the morning and I have yet to return back to Zekes after seeing Tris. My mind is in overdrive processing everything that has occurred in the last 24 hours. I hadn't intended on going to see her after she so clearly stated to stay away from her when I confronted her at her car, but I needed to see her and make sure she was alright and for the chance to talk to her. I know my timing could have been better but I was desperate to see her and I couldn't bare it any longer.

I know I hurt her as the pain I had caused was clear to see and she was definitely sure to let me know. When she opened the door and my name, my real name, escaped from her lips I was momentarily overwhelmed with the sensation that ran straight through my body. I had dreamt of hearing her say my name since I left and I'm sure I had a small smile plastered on my face but it also made me incredibly nervous due to the effect she has on me.

I needed to show her how much it hurt me to leave her and I wanted to tell her everything, however as she took a step back from me I noticed movement behind her only to be greeted by a familiar face in Uriah. I was shocked to see him there so late but I knew they had always been close and I was genuinely happy to see him again as I have always thought of him as a little brother.

My thoughts completely changed when I saw him rubbing her lower back, I was beside myself and I almost broke apart in that very moment. I knew it was possible she could move on but to know it was with someone I was so close to, and someone I considered to be family, was extremely hard to swallow.

I was struggling to keep myself together but I needed her to know that I had no choice but to leave her because of Marcus and I received no response other then the door shutting in my face.

I have been aimlessly walking since I left her place trying to calm down and process the revelation of her and Uriah and how Zeke and Shauna have most definitely known about it and intentionally kept from me, and who knows what else.

xxxxx

It has been a couple of days since my late night, or in actuality early morning visit to Tris's and admittedly I have done nothing but mope around the house and receive apologies from Zeke for not telling me about Tris and Uriah. I try not to take my frustrations out on him or Shauna but rather pound my feet into the tarmac as I run until I am physically unable to torture myself with the images my mind conjures up of her and Uriah. I trust Uriah has been good to her and all I ever want is for her to be happy but the pain is unbearable when I think that I am no longer the one she will come to for that.

I decide I can no longer just sit around and feel sorry for myself and the desire to see her again is ever-growing. After borrowing Zeke's car to get a new phone and bank card I make the decision to go to Tris's despite both Zeke and Shauna's not so subtle hints not to unexpectedly go to her house. I don't know what is going on between the pair as they continuously drop into conversations how Tris now hates unexpected visitors. I suppose they are just protecting her but something doesn't seem right but I really need to air things out with her because I don't won't to come back to only lose her all over again, even if it means we are just friends.

My chest tightens and my heart rate increases the closer I get to her house as I am not entirely sure if she will even want to see me, as our last couple of interactions haven't gone exactly the way I had planned. I feel relieved to see her car but the realisation of confronting her again plants seeds of doubt into my mind as to how this may all unfold. I will completely understand if she never wants to see me again, it is probably what I deserve but I need her to know the circumstances which I was forced into and that I by no means ever wanted to leave her.

As I approach the front door I begin to have second thoughts and move away slightly as my mind conjures up the endless possibilities of how terrible this could turn out. Eventually my desire to see her wins out as I take the plunge and knock on the door, for the second time in as many days. I don't have to wait long before a flustered Tris appears before me. I feel as though I may have intruded on a private moment as my eyes skim over her body I realise she is wearing an oversized shirt, definitely male, which doesn't leave much to the imagination. I swallow the lump in my throat as a look of realisation sweeps across her face as she realises it's me stood in front of her and she then casts an eye down to her attire and she flushes an even deeper shade of red which makes my heart flutter and ache simultaneously.

I rub the back of my neck, something I find I have been doing a lot lately, and watch as she gestures behind her before slightly closing the door and running further into the house. I stand awkwardly listening for any indication as to what she is doing or if anyone else, well Uriah, is there with her. She returns moments later with a noticeable change of attire as she is now in a simple pair of leggings and an oversized sweater. She looks up at me and I give her a weak smile and she simply sighs in return. I know she will not make this easy and I don't want her too but it is making me uneasy every time she turns to look behind her back into the house as though she is keeping an eye out for someone. I shift slightly on my feet and quietly ask "can I come in..so we can..talk?."

I purposefully asked if I can come in because I do want to talk but I also want to know if my suspicions of someone else being there with her will be confirmed. I can see the wheels turning in her head as she internally debates my question, she glances down at her watch and takes me by complete surprise when she bites her lip tightly and gives a soft nod gesturing me inside.

I am completely thrown off by her inviting me in that I now stand awkwardly in her front room waiting to be awoken from a dream as this can't possibly be a reality. I scratch my head nervously before I ask "so..how have you been?" and I immediately want to punch myself as that was definitely not the right thing to say as she harshly replies "what, how have I been these past few days..weeks..or months since you walked out on me?"

She is practically glaring daggers at me and I can feel the pain and anger radiating off of her despite being stood at opposite sides of the room.

"Tris..I...I don't want to hurt you. God I never wanted to hurt you, you have to know that" I plead to her hoping she believes me.

"I want you to know that what I said the other night is the complete truth, it doesn't take away what I did.." my voice starts to crack but I continue "but you have to know I had to go in order to keep you safe." I can see her face soften but she remains firmly in place as she beckons me to continue.

"He..Marcus..he umm..threatened to hurt you if I didn't comply with his demands and he knew...he knew you were, _are,_ my weakness and that I would do anything to keep you safe so he used your life to make me work with him." I take a deep breath before I continue.

"I was practically locked up and made to do all his dirty work and I had to comply because I knew the risk to you was too great. It was hell Tris...there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you, you managed to keep me going long enough to be rescued and-"

I was interrupted by a loud squeal and cry from down the hall, "mamma" and instantly Tris's demeanour changed and she looked stunned as we made eye contact and my body was paralysed in place as I could have sworn that noise sounded a lot like a small child.

My jaw was slack as she sighed and turned out of the room and the thought of her possibly having a child was something I never considered. I don't know how long she and Uriah have been together but knowing they potentially have a child together crushed me. I never thought I would have children before I met Tris but she changed everything and now that possibility seems impossible.

I gasped as she walked back into the room with a little girl settled on her hip. She was trying to settle her and despite my crippling apprehension I slowly inched forward as I was curious to see the child I was now certain Tris had brought into the world. It was only as I moved closer that the little girl swivelled her head and I was met with piercing blue eyes which are reflected back at me in the mirror everyday. I couldn't help the gasp that escaped me at the realisation that she appeared to be a perfect combination of both Tris and...me.

 **So that just happened...hope you enjoyed it, I would love to hear your thoughts :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – Tris**

The past couple of days have been nothing short of draining. My mind has been in overdrive since Tobias returned and it has put me in a complete head spin. I was not prepared for him to show up at my door and reveal that Marcus was somehow behind his sudden departure and I wrongly took out my frustration on Uriah, simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have called him several times to apologise and he has reassured me it was no big deal but I know he is worried about how Tobias's return will impact on us. I would love nothing more than to tell him that Tobias's sudden reappearance will not change anything but I just can't.

I have been trying to keep myself busy and my mind pre occupied but it doesn't help when Christina is constantly checking in on me. I appreciate her concern and I can never repay her enough for how much she has helped me but sometimes she can be a little overbearing.

I'm trying to work through how I feel about everything and her projecting her thoughts and feelings about the issue is only clouding my mind, but at least with Christina I know I will get nothing other than her true opinion and I value that the most, even if that opinion is to deck Tobias and tell him exactly where to stick it.

Not only have I had all that to contend with but Ruby has been putting up quite the fuss lately and it is as though she can sense something is up. That is why this morning I am beyond stressed as she decided to throw her entire breakfast at me and at the end of the day I did want clothes that weren't ruined by baby vomit, drool or anything else so I threw on an old shirt of Caleb's and the sight was most definitely not for anyone else to see. It took a long time to settle her for her nap and as she could awake at any time I made a quick dash to the shower. I was just about to get in when I heard a knock at the door, I thought it might be Christina dropping in for her daily visitation but I was floored when there he was at my front door, again. I instantly realised the state of my attire and I felt heat immediately flush to my face and I gestured behind me before I raced back to my room to dress more suitably.

When I return I can sense how apprehensive he is and I know we have to talk and despite how much pain I am harbouring I need to hear him out, not for his sake but for my own peace of mind. I took myself by surprise when I agreed to let him in but I knew we had limited time before we might be interrupted by a small child with a rather large set of lungs so I knew I had to keep an ear out before she made her presence known, as I am still unsure as to how and when I will tell him.

Our conversation didn't get off to a great start, the atmosphere was tense as I am still angry but as he begins telling me about Marcus I can feel his heartache which mirrors mine. When he tells me about how he was pretty much taken and forced to work with Marcus the reality of the situation starts to sink in until he is interrupted by an almighty cry and I am instantly frozen in place. I start to clam up as this was definitely not how I envisioned him meeting his child. I made eye contact with him and I could see a flurry of emotions sweep through him as the realisation of a child being in the house sunk in. I let out a deep sigh before I turned to see to my, _our,_ daughter and as I made my way to her my mind tried to conjure up numerous explanations for who she is and why she is here before accepting the reality of the situation. I know as soon as he sees her he will know she is his, it will be as though he is seeing his reflection staring back at him.

I have wanted this moment to arrive since she was born and now that it is here I am starting to panic as I am unsure of what his reaction will be, I just hope he doesn't freak out and shut down on me or more importantly his daughter. As she sees me she begins to settle and I smile lovingly down at her as tears slowly cascade down my face as I realise and explain to her "you're going to meet your daddy Ruby." I settle her on my hip and slowly make my way back to the front room where Tobias awaits whilst mentally repeating _'_ _just breathe, it will all work out, just breathe.'_

I don't know what will be going through his mind at the fact that I have a child but I know for a fact he will have no inkling that this is his child. I am praying this all works out as I enter the room and await his reaction. I can clearly see his shock as he looks our way but that soon changes to one of curiosity, as he slowly inches towards us Ruby must sense someone else in the room as she swivels her head towards him. I take a sharp intake of air awaiting the moment to unfold and I feel a vice around both my heart and lungs as the colour drains from his face as he begins to recognise the features on her face are also mirrored in his.

I stand awkwardly holding Ruby as Tobias takes numerous glances from her to me and it feels like an eternity before he asks "is..is she mine?." I scoff at his question as anger starts to bubble beneath the surface as I have no doubt in my mind that he has realised she is his but I harshly reply "what do you think?" with a raised brow. I know I should sympathise with him as this is a huge revelation but I can't find it within myself right now as I have had to raise her alone. I am trying to understand the reasons behind why he left but surely he could have told me about Marcus and we could have worked something out together, as that is what couples are supposed to do.

Ruby clung closer to me sensing my anger and I knew I needed to approach this differently, not for me but for her. I took a deep breath, "Tobias" I called in order to catch his attention as he seems to have been in his own world, most likely trying to process the series of events that have unfolded. Hearing me say his name seems to have had the effect I desired as he is now staring at me in anticipation of what I will say next. "Yes Tobias, she is yours. She is...our daughter" I begin crying as I say _our daughter_ and I'm struggling to see him as the tears flood my eyes so I hastily wipe them away and I am greeted by a look of adoration and pain all in one.

I look down to Ruby, turn her towards Tobias and tell her "this is your daddy Ruby," I give her a big smile and then catch his eye as they start to water. His voice cracks as he says "Ruby" and smiles fondly, first at her then at me. We are gazing into each other's eyes with emotion I haven't felt in years which is overwhelming and I realise this is the moment I have dreamed of and it has finally come true and he hasn't made a run for it.

He hesitantly gestures towards us and I give him a firm nod to come over and meet her. As he approaches Ruby tightens her hold on me and shies away and I'm surprised as she usually loves the attention of others, quite opposite to both Tobias and I's nature. I soothingly rub her back and tell her that this is her daddy and he would love to meet her. I see Tobias react warily to me calling him a daddy and I give him a reassuring smile as I know his fears of hurting his children was a major obstacle when we discussed the possibility of having children. He was always very insistent he didn't want any but I always tried to reassure him that as long as I am the mother of his children I would never let him do anything to harm them and I still stand by that.

Before he left we never decided that one day we would have children but I know now that Ruby was a gift, a completely unexpected one, but one that could potentially bring us back together. I gestured towards the couch and we both took a seat with Ruby still clinging on to me, I shuffled closer to him and spun Ruby around on my knee so they could face each other.

He scratched the back of his neck at a loss for what to do or say so I asked him if he would like to hold her. He froze for a moment and became extremely stiff so I gently placed my hand on his forearm to calm him but I felt a shock through my arm and a shiver down my spine with just a simple touch. I retracted my hand almost instantly which caused him to cast me a slight grin and I smiled nervously in return. I felt like a schoolgirl all over again with a crush on a boy who I shouldn't be even thinking about.

I managed to remove Ruby's tight grip from my sweater so I quickly manoeuvred her onto Tobias's lap. He wasn't expecting her so he sat there rigidly as she stared up at him with wonder in her eyes. He awkwardly placed his arms around her to assure she wouldn't fall off and I couldn't help the sob that escaped at the sight before me. He glanced at me worryingly and I just started laughing as I couldn't find any other way to express how I was feeling in this exact moment. Seeing him hold her, although clumsily, was a relief and through my gentle sobs I managed to talk. "I- I'm just so glad you are here, with her...she needs you and I...I never thought this moment would come."

He looks down at her and nervously says "hi Ruby, it is nice to meet you." I give him an encouraging smile to continue, "you're a gorgeous little girl...much like your mother" he coos and I blush and somehow I find myself close enough to give him a slight shove.

 **Tobias POV**

I am sat here with Ruby on my lap and I cannot comprehend how this day has unfolded. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to meet my daughter, _our daughter_ , it is a hard thought to grasp. I know asking Tris if she was mine probably wasn't the smartest thing to do as it as clear as day that she is but I was in complete shock. When Tris referred to me as Ruby's daddy I was overcome with emotion, first shock and fear and then joy and happiness but a deep sense of pain washed over me at the fact that I have already missed out on so much. Tris knew my fear of having children but I knew that if one day I decided to then I would want to be there every step of the way and for them to know they are loved no matter what, and I know I have already failed.

The reality is I left and she was born into this world without me there and as I stare down at her absorbing every little detail I can't help but notice every quality she has inherited from her beautiful mother. Her thin blonde hair and narrow face are complemented by her large wide eyes and despite inheriting my eye colour, which has always reminded me of Marcus, I can't help but believe that they will become a favourite sight of mine. She has already captivated my heart in such a short time span and Tris says exactly what I am thinking, "she will have you wrapped around her little finger in no time" and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

As Ruby starts' babbling at me Tris begins telling me every little thing about her like how she has inherited a double dose of stubbornness, which we both laugh at and Ruby follows suit, that she started walking about five months ago and that she despises carrots to which I had to agree with her. We talk for what feels like ages and I feel as though I know a lot about her now but the pang of guilt and pain are ever present at knowing how much I have missed and how much Tris had to go through.

I never want this day to end but unfortunately Zeke made me promise I would be back by at least six as he needs his car so I tell Tris I have to leave and I immediately have to reassure her that I would love nothing more than to stay here, at which she blushes and my heart skips a beat at the sight. I apprehensively go to kiss Ruby on the cheek and to my surprise she willing accepts and my heart flutters as a result, "can't leave mummy out now can we Ruby" I teasingly say as I shake my head and she copies which causes both Tris and I to laugh. I gaze into her eyes and I can't control the grin that adorns my face as I lean in to plant a chaste kiss on her cheek. I'm sure we are both as red as each other as the feeling can be a likened to that of an awkward teenage crush experience. I draw out my farewell as long as I can and I leave with a wide smile plastered on my face.

 **I enjoyed writing this one so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Let me know your thoughts :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Tobias**

I arrive back at Zeke and Shauna's trying to suppress the smile I have had since I left Tris's house but Zeke immediately notices my improved mood and gives me a questioning look, I know his loyalty is split so I just shrug my shoulders, chuck him his keys and head to bed.

I collapse on the bed and just stare at the ceiling processing everything that has just happened. I have a child. _A child_. Her face is imprinted in my mind, a perfect mix of both Tris and I. This was beyond anything I ever dreamt of whilst I was in New York and whilst I am excited about the revelation I am equally, if not more scared and terrified of my ability to be a dad and a provider for her. I haven't had the greatest of role models to aspire to and I know everyone will be waiting for me to fail, no one more so than Tris. It is fair to say my sleep is as restless as it has been since I got back with a mixture of nightmares from what I have endured and dreams of what the future could possibly hold.

I decide I have had enough of tossing and turning so I roll out of bed and trudge down the hall towards the kitchen. The sun is just beginning to rise and I take solace in the sight which I had been deprived of for too long. I am never usually a morning person, with exception of days like this, and thus I have never truly appreciated them and the way they remind us that each time the sunrises we are given a new day to start afresh.

I'm broken out of my unusually optimistic thoughts by the sudden grinding of the coffee machine and as I turn around I am startled by Shauna who is stood arms folded in my direction.

"Four" she greets me with a firm voice.

"Shauna" I reply hesitantly.

She is looking at me expectantly and I feel small under her gaze despite my obvious physical superiority.

She sighs exasperatedly, "what did you get up to yesterday?" she asks with a slightly raised brow.

I instantly realise what she is hinting at and I decide to play dumb because I can't deal with her scrutiny right now. I shrug and reply "not much, just got a new phone and bank card."

She huffs and I can see her having an internal battle of whether or not to press any further but she decides to come straight out with it regardless.

"Don't mess around with her Four. She is finally happy and you're going to let her down again...there's too much at risk so just think before you do anything. She doesn't deserve any more heartache."

I'm cemented to my spot in the kitchen as Shauna finishes making her coffee and walks back to her room as though nothing has been said. She has hit the nail on the head and targeted my greatest fear which was part of what kept me awake last night. I never want to hurt Tris again and adding Ruby to the equation only complicates things because I have already missed so much and I know at the drop of a hat Tris can take her away from me.

My positive mood has now been replaced by a deep sense of pain because I know if Shauna is thinking that then Tris will most likely be as well. I grab at my head in frustration and the urge to inflict harm is building within me. I always internalise my pain as the comparison to Marcus will only grow if I lash out at someone and I can't bear the thought of that, I have always believed it to be a possibility but I am trying to push that to the back of my mind for now.

In order to keep myself sane I rummage through my boxes, find my workout clothes and run to the gym. The gym is at least five miles away but I manage to get there in no time as my feet seem to run on their own accord utilising my pent up frustration as fuel. I'm extremely happy when I see they are in fact open this early and make a beeline straight to the punching bags. The feeling of my fist making contact with the bag manages to relieve part of my rage as thoughts of Marcus, my childhood, and the entire situation with Tris come to the fore. It is only as my arms become dead weights that I reluctantly stop my relentless punishment on the boxing bag.

I feel my hands throbbing as I walk out of the gym and as I refused to wear gloves, only tape, my knuckles are split and I am already starting to see the bruising develop. They shape as a physical reflection of my pain and will serve as a reminder of what I am capable of. He is inside me, in my blood, reflected in my eyes and I know because I am part of him I am just as capable of causing harm to others. Marcus may no longer be alive but he lives on in me and despite trying so hard to fight against it, I can't help the thoughts clouding my mind. I thought if I physically exerted myself that the thoughts would stop but it seems to have only exerted my body leaving my mind to conjure up my darkest memories and emotions.

I know Shauna's implication wasn't that I would physically hurt Tris or Ruby because as far as I know she has limited knowledge of my childhood. However what she said this morning hit a nerve, I will never fail to disappoint Tris and ultimately Ruby or be able to make them happy. I want to be with her without a doubt, but if Shauna is right and that she is happy with Uriah then I can't stand in their way. They always say if you truly love someone you'll want them to be happy, even if that means that happiness isn't with me.

I merely let my feet aimlessly guide me from the gym as I battle my inner thoughts and before I know it I have stopped only to find myself outside of Tris' house. I am bewildered at how despite my doubts, my inner consciousness has brought me to the one person I find I can't stay away from. I slowly approach the door before I hear voices from inside. I know it isn't Tris talking to Ruby as I can clearly distinguish two older voices. I quickly scan back towards the driveway in case I missed the obvious sign that someone else was here but I only see Tris' black sedan. I really didn't want to pry, as I feel like I have attempted to listen in on too many private conversations lately but just as I was about to walk away I heard an emotional Tris and I instinctively moved closer to the door.

"Christina," _that's who it is_ "I am so glad he has met Ruby but I can't stop the resentment I feel towards him for leaving." I drop my head and clench my fists as the anger starts to build up again at my past actions.

"So you should. He practically promised you the world and left you with nothing but a broken heart which we have all had to piece back together" Christina responded spitefully. I feel ashamed listening to their conversation but I feel this is the only way I'll be able to hear the truth from Tris.

I could tell she was trying to hold back the tears but what she said next almost certainly caused some to spill from my eyes. "I don't know if...I can ever forgive him. I want to...I really do and part of me still loves him and probably always will but I fear he will just leave again. . I don't want Ruby to grow close to him for him to just disappear again. At least I know with Uriah he will always stick by me...and Ruby." I don't wait to hear what else Christina or Tris has to say as I merely turn and walk away feeling defeated and distraught at the reality of the situation I have ultimately put myself in.

 **Tris POV**

After Tobias left last night I was experiencing an overwhelming multitude of emotions. Although it was not how I had planned I was extremely relieved to finally have him know about Ruby. I was caught off guard at how well he received the news. Seeing her on his knee is a moment I will never forget and my heart instantly swelled at the sight.

I do however still have serious doubts about him staying which makes me reluctant to allow him to get too close to Ruby in fear of him leaving again, ultimately causing both of us heartache. Being that close to him and inhaling his scent often caused my mind to drift to places it shouldn't have. There is no doubt we still share a strong attraction to each other but my mind is still holding firm to the resentment and anger I have towards him and it doesn't help when each time we attempt to talk we are always interrupted.

All these thoughts and feelings have me extremely confused as on one hand I want Tobias back and for us to be a family and as his smell lingered on Ruby's clothes it reminded me of the comfort he provides which I have longed for. However on the other hand I am with Uriah and he makes me happy and secure and I have no qualms about our relationship but since Tobias has been back I have noticed the disparity in the way each of them make me feel.

I'm folding up laundry when Christina walks through the door with a wide smile plastered on her face which can only mean she has been spending 'time' with Will. I give her a knowing look and she simply winks at me and as she opens her mouth to talk I put my hands on my ears whilst saying "no, no, no, I do not want to hear about it" and once I think it is safe I remove my hands and all she says is "amazing." I squirm slightly and she simply laughs at me for how awkward I find these conversations. Despite how uncomfortable I find the topic to be I am just glad to see Christina happy as she put relationships on the backburner to help me so I'm overjoyed at the fact that she has found Will.

We fall into a light conversation which is merely updating each other on things that have happened since we last saw each other. As that was only a couple days ago there isn't much to say but I know she can sense an elephant in the room in the shape of Tobias.

"Are we going to talk about it?" she questions.

I am extremely resistant but I need someone to talk to and it obviously can't be Uriah so I take a deep breath and utter "yeah, I suppose I must." Once I have composed myself I tell her all about yesterday. She frowned when I told her how apparently Marcus was the reason he left, but as I am yet to gather my thoughts about it I quickly moved on. I also told her how despite my best laid plans he unexpectedly met Ruby and she was completely shocked. Flurries of questions escape her as she attempts to squeeze as much information about their introduction from me as she can. After I tell her all about their interactions she sits there in a daze processing it all. She knows how much it means to me that Ruby has met him and I can't help breaking down when she wraps her arms firmly around me. My emotions are getting the better of me as a flood of tears run down my face.

"Christina, I am so glad he has met Ruby but I can't stop the resentment I feel towards him for leaving" I say despairingly.

She doesn't hesitate when she responds, "so you should. He practically promised you the world and left you with nothing but a broken heart which we have all had to piece back together." I momentarily process her words before continuing my outflow of thoughts.

"I don't know if...I can ever forgive him. I want to...I really do and part of me still loves him and probably always will but I fear he will just leave again. I don't want Ruby to grow close to him for him to just disappear again. At least I know with Uriah he will always stick by me...and Ruby."

She looks at me with concern and I appreciate her letting me freely express how I feel despite her obvious disdain for him.

"I do still love him Christina, so much it hurts and seeing...him again after all this time has brought back a lot of feelings... it is overwhelming." She rubs my back in a soothing motion providing me with words of comfort.

"I am so grateful for my relationship with Uriah and I care a lot for him but...it just isn't the same as To..Four. I know it will take quite some time to start understanding and forgiving him for leaving but I want to give him the chance to. I need to give him a chance Christina."

 **Love hearing all your thoughts! Just a little more drama...but there might just be some FourTris next chapter**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – Tobias**

I find myself alone and staring down at a glass of bourbon which is becoming more and more enticing the longer I stare at it. I am in some dingy bar that I happened to stumbled upon weighing up my options. I could drink the bourbon, in which a lot more are likely to follow, or walk away and face reality. The latter I have always failed to do as I prefer to simply forget and ignore, and I realise now how real Tris's fear of me leaving again is. I know I left for her, to keep her safe but if times get tough the easy option is always to walk away and that is why I want to drink myself into a stupor so I can forget everything.

With the bartender on my back and my will wavering I pick up the glass and swish the liquor around only to be distracted by my phone buzzing in my pocket. I might be going a little far in thinking it is divine intervention but seeing as though I only got my phone yesterday it can only be one of two people. I don't really want to talk to either of them right now but curiosity gets the better of me so I check my phone regardless. The disappointment that flows through me takes me by surprise as I read Zekes name next to the notification of a new message. It was hopeful of me to think it would be Tris after the conversation I had overheard quite a few hours ago and it only renews my interest in the drink in front of me.

I decide to open the message and it reads, ' _Hey, where are you? Hope you're ok..'_

At least he is concerned about me but it does makes me wonder if he shares similar thoughts to the ones Shauna voiced to me earlier.

"You have been staring at that drink for hours, are you going to drink it or not?" the bartender asks with obvious impatience.

"You smell like a beer keg" suddenly rang around the dark room as I moved further into the house. I spun around attempting to locate the source of the sound when Zeke emerged from the darkness. I was unprepared for him to turn the lights on so I immediately had to shield my eyes from the bright exposure. "Four, how much have you had to drink!" he asks accusingly.

"I didn't drink anything" I exasperatedly reply.

"Right...because it is normal to have the stench of alcohol when you haven't been near it." His sarcastic reply does nothing to improve my mood.

I drag my palms down my face and reply as calmly as I can, "Zeke, I sat in a bar for...God knows how long but I didn't have a drop of alcohol..would I really be able to talk to you right now if I had that much alcohol?" I raise my brow at the end to further my point.

He assesses me for a moment, "touché."

We both stood facing each other with a sense of discomfort in the air as we both know there is a topic of conversation which looms over us.

He was first to break the silence by getting straight to the point, as always.

"You and Tris, what is the go?...Oh and forget who Uriah is to me and just talk." So talk I did.

I am never one for long conversations but I was holding too much in and I was about to burst so I told him everything. How I turned up on her doorstep trying to explain about why I left only to be confronted by the news of her and Uriah. Trying to tell her how Marcus was involved but most notably how I learnt I am a father. He looked sheepish after he realised I knew about Ruby but I am beyond being able to hold a grudge over his inability to tell me. When he is able to digest everything he hesitantly approaches the topic of how I am feeling about being back, Ruby, Tris and her relationship with Uriah. It has been a lot to digest after coming back after so long and I feel a weight lift off my shoulders by being able to talk to someone about it all.

...

I spent the next few days sorting out my personal affairs which included locating a place to live and finding a job. I needed to get back on my own two feet and it was ultimately giving me time to build up the courage to speak to Tris properly. I was still agonising over what I overheard but after my talk with Zeke I felt as though I could think more clearly and by sorting myself out I hope it proves to her I am here to stay.

I was relieved when I finally managed to get myself a place in close proximity to Zekes...and Tris's. I hadn't realised I was only paying attention to two bedroom places until the real estate agent asked what it was for. I was uncertain at first but soon realised that deep down I was hopeful that its use would be for Ruby. The place is nothing special but for now I am relieved to have somewhere I can call home.

I haven't received any messages from Tris these past few days, with the exception of a couple of pictures of Ruby with no captions. The lack of dialogue only added to my uncertainty but Zeke had insisted it was probably because she has been busy at work but as it is now Saturday I hope that will change.

I am in my new apartment staring down at her name on my phone and hesitate for a few moments before I take the plunge and simply ask her _'_ _do you want to meet up today?'_

Waiting for her response is agonising and every minute is passing painstakingly slow as I await the buzz of my phone to alert me to her reply. I begin pacing up and down the room as the anticipation courses through me and after what feels like a lifetime I am alerted to my phone buzzing through my firm grip. I can't look at my phone any quicker and I am instantly thrilled to read _'_ _I guess we should...1:30 at the park?'_

It didn't sound very convincing but I will take anything right now so I immediately confirm and see that I have just under an hour to wait.

The park is less than a fifteen minute walk away but I make the conscious decision to leave a lot earlier than necessary in order to gather myself and formulate some sort of coherent thoughts. I am undoubtedly on the end of some obscure looks as I mumble incoherent sentences under my breath whilst fidgeting rather nervously. It probably isn't a good look but it isn't my main concern right now as I move closer to the park entrance.

Any coherent thoughts I might have had are wiped from my mind as I see her just beyond the entrance and I'm surprised as she is here even earlier than I am.

She is yet to see me but my eyes never waver from her as I approach and it is only when I am a couple meters away that she catches my eye. She smiles timidly at me and I know I am smiling back without even thinking about it.

"Hey" I greet her nervously.

"Hi" she replies just as uneasily whilst casting her eyes to her shoes. I take a step towards her and as I am about to reach for her chin she looks at me through her lashes and I feel the blush from my neck to my face start to form at almost being caught. I clear my throat in an attempt to ease the awkwardness and ask her "where's Ruby?"

She seems relieved for a point of conversation and begins to tell me that she is at home with Christina because she figured we needed to talk without another interruption. I am a little disappointed that I don't get to see her but I know the need for us to talk is more of a priority right now. We have seemingly fallen into a steady walk side by side and from the corner of my eye I notice her looking at me and I can't help the satisfying smirk I direct her way.

"So I got my own place" I say out of the blue and immediately her head turns towards me with a stunned and disbelieving expression but I do notice a flicker of hope in her eyes.

"Really..that's great Tobias" her voice thick with emotion.

"Yeah well I figured I should make myself feel at home again...and make it clear that I don't plan on going anywhere Tris." I pull her to a stop as I want to make my next point very clear to her. "I am here to stay, I know I given you ample reason to doubt me...but I will never leave Ruby or..you again" I say trying my best to counter back what I overheard the other day. "I want you to know I will do everything..everything I can to prove that to both of you. I know you won't forgive me overnight but I hope someday I can earn it."

I can breathe a little easier now that is off my chest but I notice tears swimming in her eyes and it is taking all the self control I have not to wrap my arms around her.

She however, catches me off guard as her arms snake around my waist and I now have no hesitation in reciprocating the gesture. Her grip is tight and I feel relieved at the contact I have been craving for so long and as I inhale her scent I finally feel at home.

We stay in each other's arms for quite some time until she pulls back and I instantly miss her and crave her touch again. She chuckles slightly and I am confused until she points to my shirt where a large wet patch lay, "sorry" she says rather embarrassed.

I smile fondly at her and insist it is perfectly fine and she then guides me over to a nearby bench.

"I need you to tell me everything that happened, why you left..Marcus..just everything" she was practically pleading me and the desperation in her voice stirred something within me and I knew I had to be completely transparent if I were to ever regain her trust and forgiveness.

I went on to tell her how Marcus made contact with me a few months before I left wanting my help and I refused until he threatened her safety and ultimately I had no other option but to leave. I then told her what he needed me for, how I was continually trying to raise alarm, how Amar finally saved me and how a day never went by where I didn't think of her.

"You gave me the strength to never give up the hope of being found Tris." She started tearing up again so this time I gave it no second thought when I shuffled along the bench and pulled her closer to me.

"I didn't...I didn't know. I'm sorry" she manages to say through her tears and I shake my head at her as she is apologising for what I went through despite the hurt I caused her.

I assure her that she has absolutely nothing to apologise for and I feel comforted when she thanks me for opening up to her as she knows how I often like to keep things to myself.

We sit in silence for a few more moments with her still in my arms before she suggests we go and see Ruby. I wanted to approach the topic of her and Uriah but I am not sure I will be able to handle what she has to say right now, so I jump at the chance as there is nowhere else I would rather be then with the two girls who mean the world to me.

 **Let me know your thoughts, I'll be back in a couple of days with a new chapter**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – Tris**

As I stand in the kitchen making a couple of cups of coffee I smile to myself thinking how well today has gone and how I can hear Ruby's laugh bounce off the walls from Tobias most likely pulling funny faces at her. I didn't realise how attractive it is to see the father of your child interact with what you both have created and add that to his piercing blue eyes, light stubble and well...everything else, it is hard not to flush red as soon as you lay eyes on him. _Stop thinking like that Tris,_ I have to scold myself as I can't go there not whilst I am with Uriah because he doesn't deserve it.

Since I talked to Christina quite a few days ago I have been confused as to how I feel about both of the men in my life. I kept myself busy at work so I didn't have to face up to my feelings or either of them. It was unfair on them both but to ease my conscience I sent Tobias a few pictures of Ruby and gave basic updates to Uriah.

I absentmindedly glide my fingers over the ravens just below my collarbone whilst staring into the backyard as it is times like this where I miss my mother the most as she would help guide me in the right direction and say exactly what I needed to hear. I had the three ravens tattooed a few months after my parents passed and they soon became four after Ruby was born to represent all my family and I wish they were all here in physical form.

I was planning on avoiding both Uriah and Tobias over the weekend as well but when Christina came over this morning she told me in no uncertain terms to woman up and face up to the cards I have been dealt. I feel like that is all she has been saying to me since Tobias came back and the heavy conversations are dragging me down as they're so emotionally draining. I just want things to feel normal again so when he texted earlier today asking to meet up I was hesitant at first but ultimately I knew I had to and needed to, and I feel Christina would have shoved me out of the door anyways.

In hindsight I am glad I didn't talk myself out of it because we were able to talk with no interruptions and he opened up to me, which I know is incredibly hard for him to do. He usually bottles everything up and is like a ticking time bomb until he explodes so I needed to express how thankful I was for his openness. I couldn't have planned it better if I am honest as he was also able to quash some of my lingering doubts about him staying when he told me he now has a place of his own. I was instantly emotional after he told me that as it proves his intentions are to stay and I can't falter him for that.

I now also know the extent of Marcus' involvement in why he left and hearing what he went through almost broke my heart. I knew what Marcus was capable of but this was beyond belief, I don't know how he could do that to his own flesh and blood and I'm I was in no way sorry to hear that he isn't alive anymore.

All of this doesn't mean I have forgotten or forgiven what Tobias has done and what he has missed out on, but it does put us on a road of recovery where I can begin to put this behind me.

I sigh as I realise I have to re-make the coffee as I have been lost in my thoughts for way too long that the coffee is now more cold than it is hot. I finally manage to make them and begin taking them into the living room when Tobias pops out from the room, "there you are..let me help" he says whilst rushing to me to take his cup. I smile appreciatively at him before following him back into the room where I see Ruby sprawled out on her play mat with only a hundred and one toys surrounding her. "Tobias" I say accusingly whilst staring in disbelief at the amount of toys and he sheepishly replies "sorry..I just wanted her to have a selection." I can't help but laugh at his reasoning and shake my head at him, "a selection...more like an accumulation of everything she possesses" and I then use my hands to gesture her having him wrapped around his little finger. It's his turn to laugh as he agrees with my assessment.

We both decide to take a seat so we can drink our coffee and watch Ruby play with her 'selection' of toys at the same time. "So Christina was welcoming as always" he states sarcastically out of the blue and I laugh quietly before replying, "well you know her, subtlety isn't exactly her strong suit." It has taken longer than I thought for him to bring up his less than joyful experience with Christina when we came back from the park. As she was here earlier she offered to watch Ruby whilst I met him and I completely forgot they'd yet to see each other since he got back so it was a rather explosive first encounter when we reached my house. She was unpleasant to say the least and I can't say I didn't completely disagree with what she said but I was thankful Ruby was there because it prevented it from escalating any further.

"Was she right about what she said about you?" he asks solemnly, I nod stiffly and I instantly see the pain etched on his face.

 _"_ _You broke her Four she was completely unrecognisable and then she nearly lost Ruby! Tris could seriously have died as well and where were you, huh!? You left her when she needed you the most you piece of sh-"_ and that is where I had to intervene.

She had said a lot more before that but when she started talking about my pregnancy which took a turn for the worse I had to stop her. It was too much to relive and I had to ask her to leave before anymore could be said. She wasn't happy but after giving Tobias a stern warning and a look which could kill she was on her way.

I know he is hurting and part of me wants to revel in that, but the greater part of me hates seeing him in pain so I try my best to reassure him. "Tobias, we are here now and both of us are perfectly fine" I say whilst gesturing towards Ruby who has a stern look of concentration as she attempts to figure out her animal peg set. He smiles apologetically and I quietly mutter "I know..I know."

I decide to let him be alone with his thoughts for now whilst I take my place next to Ruby on the floor and spend some time playing with her, and her wide array of toys.

I was playing with Ruby for a while before I noticed Tobias had fallen asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful and without worry that I couldn't bear to wake him up as he looked like he desperately needed some rest. "Whilst daddy is sleeping why don't we get you fed, bathed and ready for bed missy" I cooed down at Ruby. I was surprised after I had done all of that he was still asleep, as much as I didn't want to wake him up I knew he wouldn't want to miss out on saying goodnight to Ruby. I slowly approached him and sat on the edge of the couch and took a moment to appreciate him. His hair is a lot longer than I remember as I sweep a stray strand that has fallen across his face to the side and rub his shoulder whilst saying, "Tobiaaass...wakey wakey." I see his eyes flutter open and I greet him with a smile and tell him "I thought you may want to say goodnight to Ruby and help tuck her in?" He simply nods and sluggishly gets up and follows me into her room.

I take a step back and let him take the lead but he looks back at me like a deer in the headlights and I try encouraging him by giving him a firm nod and words of confidence. He nervously approaches her as she is flicking through a picture book and attempts to get her into bed and for his first time I think he is doing exceptionally well as she can be very stubborn. I watch with a smile on my face at the scene which is unfolding before me and despite him continually looking at me for assurance I can't help the way my heart is swelling and the desire which flows through me.

After I gave my own cuddles and kisses goodnight, both Tobias and I make our way back to the living room and make ourselves comfortable on opposite sides of the couch. "You did really well with her tonight you know" I say and he smiles gratefully in return.

We are gazing at one another when he says, "you have done an amazing job Tris, she is...exceptional and it is all down to you. You're an incredible mother." I immediately choke up as a result and manage to stutter out a simple thank you before I am unable to speak and I am then unexpectedly wrapped in his embrace. For the third time today I find myself in his arms and I have to admit it feels right but it is unfortunately bringing my relationship with Uriah to the fore and I need to talk to Tobias about it.

I reluctantly manoeuvre myself out of his hold and turn to face him. He seems confused at first but as my expression becomes more serious he appears to realise that another important conversation is about to unfold. "I'm really glad you're back, but I just I want you to know..I am happy with Uriah and he is good to me and Ruby" I don't sound entirely convincing but I see his Four mask start to conceal his emotions and I don't want to be shut out so I gently place my hand on his cheek and plead to him, "please Tobias don't shut me out, I-"

"How long have you been together?" he interjects rather firmly and it causes me to drop my hand and reply, "almost six months."

His jaw clenches and he ruffles his hair in what I am assuming is frustration, "I just...Uriah? I know he is a great guy and would never hurt you...but why him Tris, why?"

"He is good to me Tobias and he was there for me when I needed it the most" I reply and his eyebrows furrow, "so you're with him because he was just there?" his asks rather accusingly.

I scoff, "no Tobias, I am with him because he makes me happy and I know he will always be there for me and won't just leave me!" We are both starting to get agitated and I am starting to regret initiating the conversation but I suppose this was bound to happen.

"So he made you feel good so you jumped straight into bed with him-" he doesn't get to finish before I have slapped him across the face and started pounding my feet around the living room. I am beyond furious with him for insinuating I merely slept with him to feel better and thus began a relationship simply because it was for comfort. Despite how angry I am I try to keep my voice down so Ruby doesn't wake and I spit back at him "how dare you! You know how hard intimacy is for me...and even though you have no right to know, I haven't even slept with him yet!"

Through my red haze I manage to see his jaw slack and remorse start to take its place across his face.

I put my face in my hands and feel the tears start to fall as yet another day has turned sour. I feel him take a hold of my forearms trying to pull my hands from my face but I just thrash around in an attempt to make him relinquish his grip. It is to no avail as he is much stronger than I am but noticing my resistance he changes his tact and pulls me into his chest despite my protests and mutters over and over "I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry Tris."

I feel as though the apology isn't only for what he just said but for everything that has happened from when he left up until now. I know deep down I want to accept his apology because I don't want to harbour this pain any longer, but I just don't know how to so I tell him through my tears that, "it is going to take time Tobias...I will try to forgive you but it will take time."

 **Thank you again for all your reviews and kind words it really encourages me to write so I hope you enjoyed this one as well**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – Tris**

The rest of the weekend passed quite quickly with Tobias leaving soon after we discussed the Uriah situation and I am glad to have finally spoken to him about it, but I didn't see or hear from him the next day not that I necessarily expected to but it did leave me a little disappointed.

I spent Sunday doing the usual mundane household chores with Ruby by my side preparing for another week at work and arranging a time this week to spend with Uriah. We have both been knee deep in work as this past week I have had to pick up a lot more shifts as the other receptionist is on vacation and it unfortunately carries over to this week as well, but we promised each other we would spend some time together. I think we both know we can't tip toe around the 'Tobias' issue any longer and we have both probably been trying to avoid it in the hope it will simply disappear but unfortunately that will not happen.

When Tobias insinuated that I got with Uriah for the physical comfort and feel good factor I couldn't believe it. I know how close the two were, they were practically brothers, and it must be hard for him to see I have moved on, especially with someone he holds so close. Uriah and I have always been extremely close and his flirtatious personality never had its desired effect on me but when over a year had passed since Tobias left I found myself opening up to the idea. He does make me happy and feel loved but I can't deny a part of me needed the comfort and safety he would provide as in my eyes he could do no wrong, but then again I never thought Tobias could either.

Christina was right when she told me "your brain is just a scrambled mess."

 _Why can't I just have both of them?_

Everyone at works seems to be picking up on my up and down mood lately despite my best attempts to hide it and it only adds to my stress, as work was the only place I could at least try and forget everything that was happening in my personal life. It is not like when they ask what is wrong I can come out with, _well my ex-boyfriend and father of my child, whom he did not know about, has come back after almost two years as his father blackmailed him to leave and now my current boyfriend, who my ex-boyfriend considered him to be like a brother, most likely feels as though he is second choice and I am unsure of what is best for myself and my daughter._

That response would most likely leave me with no colleagues wishing to be in my company and probably a room down at the local psych ward.

It is not until Thursday that Uriah and I's schedule both align to where we both have the afternoon off. We decide to keep it simple and spend it at my house where I can be with Ruby as well as she has been in day care for most of the week. As it is moving deeper into autumn we decide to spend a little time soaking up the good weather whilst it is still here and have an impromptu picnic.

"I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages" he states as we lay atop of our picnic blanket with Ruby settled in-between us.

"It has been a while, I'm sorry for that it has just been hectic since...you know" I reply with a shrug.

"You can say his name you know, I won't combust into a ball of flames" he says in a half-joking manner. I can tell there is a serious undertone there and I have had enough experience over the past few weeks to realise yet another serious conversation is about to unfold.

I can tell he is using Ruby as a distraction as he starts tickling her belly so I place my hand atop of his and beckon him to look at me. We haven't had many conversations of this nature as we usually keep things as light as we can, and frankly there hasn't been much drama to cause serious discussions but this time around there is no making light of the situation.

"I want to know what you think of all this Uriah"

He takes a deep breath and plays with my fingers as he starts expressing what he feels to me, "honestly?" I nod, "well I feel now he is back I am being pushed aside" I try to interject but he simply gestures telling me to let him speak.

"I know what you two had was special and it is pretty much here in a physical form" as he points down to Ruby who is starting to drift off.

"I can't compete with him, other than for looks, even when he wasn't here I felt as though I was but now that he is actually here...well" I try to take in what he said but I can't believe in serious settings he still manages to squeeze in a reference about his looks.

"I don't want you thinking you are competing with him Uriah, I chose to be with you-"

"And you can just as easily chose him again" he interjects.

We are at an impasse as we both realise there is a wedge between us which has created a feeling of uncertainty in our relationship.

"Look I know you still love him in some capacity and Zeke did manage to divulge a little information on why he left, and it seems as though he basically left to protect you and save you, and without knowing it Ruby too. He sacrificed his own happiness and safety for you, how can I contend with that?"

I stare at him dumbfounded as I knew Tobias had left to protect me but I had yet to look at it from his perspective of choosing to go with Marcus to eliminate a real threat to both my life, and our daughters. I shake my head and scrunch my eyes together at the realisation of how unappreciative I have been.

"Tris...Trissss, are you alright?" I hear Uriah say through my daze.

"I just...I hadn't really thought about it that way" I managed to stutter and I can see he is a bit confused so I decide to elaborate for him.

"I knew Marcus was the driving force for him leaving as he threatened me and I understand the hell he went through but I just..I never stopped to thank him for it. I have been so caught up in my own anger about him not being here for me and Ruby that I have been misdirecting all my feelings onto him."

I feel as though I have been punched in the gut as I begin to comprehend the situation for what it is. Uriah retakes a hold on my hand as I moved to play with Ruby's hair, "it's okay Tris, it is completely understandable how you reacted. You have every right to feel anger and resentment...and look I am no Four and Tris cheer squad by any means, but I do think you need to take time to appreciate what he did, if not for you, for Ruby."

I know he is right, I have to be grateful for what he did even if I wouldn't have gone about it the same way I need to acknowledge his sacrifice. I just hate how I have only come to realise all of this now after Uriah pointed it out and how I have treated Tobias since I have lashed out at him on numerous occasions.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore-"

"Tris-"

"No, please. Can we just enjoy each other's company" I plead and he huffs in frustration before pulling me as close to him as he can with Ruby squished between us.

"We have to talk about this at some point Tris. You know how I feel about you but I understand if you need time to think about...stuff," I agree with him when he says it is a conversation we will need to continue but for now I reach over a give him a quick peck on the lips. I know it probably isn't fair on him to do that when I am so confused about my feelings but selfishly, I needed that.

 **Tobias POV**

Now that I have been in my own place for a couple of weeks I am starting to feel a lot more settled and I also have a number of job interviews lined up which is helping me focus on things other than Tris and Ruby. The IT industry is competitive and I am finding it hard to explain my two year absence from work but I just hope my skills speak for themselves and I find something soon. Money isn't an issue as of yet but it will be soon if I can't land a job.

It is coming to the end of another week and I haven't seen Tris or Ruby since last Saturday. I know I ruined our day with my attitude as I was completely out of line when I accused Tris of just jumping into bed with Uriah as it isn't in her nature to do so, but I was still stewing over their relationship and the words came out of my mouth before I even had time to think about it. I know I have to accept their relationship for what it is but I am finding it increasingly difficult the more time I spend with Tris and Ruby. I will respect their relationship but I can't help the emotions that stir within me each time I lay eyes on her. Despite my relationship with Tris I want to see Ruby and be part of her life so I am taking a break from job hunting and interview preparation to buy her a few things, as I have missed two Christmases and a birthday.

Tris tells me she was born a few weeks early on May 11th at 3:42am weighing 6lb 8oz and I hate how I wasn't there for it but I am going to do my best to be there for her now and push any fears I have to the back of my mind.

As I make my way to the shops I realise I have absolutely no idea what a 17 month old girl would like so I send Zeke a quick message asking him what I can get her and all I get in return is _'_ _how the hell would I know, just buy pink stuff.'_ I can't fault his thinking as I do recall seeing a few pink toys the other day so I make my way to the aisle which is for one to two year olds and do just that, I grab pink stuff and few stuffed animals as I do believe Tris did mention she liked them. I manage to walk out with a few bags filled with toys and begin taking them back to my place and as I arrive at my building and make my way to my apartment I am stunned at who is stood outside my door.

She must hear my approaching footsteps as she turns around and that is when I see Ruby on her hip and I can't help the smile that is plastered on my face. She eyes the bags in my hand and I look at her sheepishly, "really more toys?" she asks with a sense of humour in her tone and I simply shrug and move to open the door. "I'm sorry if this is a bad time..and I should have let you know I was coming..I can-"

"Tris" I interject her rambling "it is fine, you are always more than welcome." I am happy to see them both but I am confused to the reason why she is here as we didn't quite leave our last meeting on the best of terms.

"Hey you" I say to Ruby whilst giving her tummy a tickle and her giggle is like music to my ears as she grasps onto my hand whilst I direct my attention to Tris, "did you need anything or..?"

"Well Ruby wanted to see you and...I have some pictures to show you, if you'd like to see?"

Without hesitation I reply, "I would love that" and I can see the relief in her eyes immediately. I invite them in and give Ruby a couple of the toys I just bought to keep her entertained and much to my relief she seems to like them. I internally fist pump at my successful shopping venture and join Tris on the couch.

She reaches into her bag and brings out a stack of photos, "I took quite a few.." and I couldn't help but laugh as it was a slight understatement as there are a lot more than just a few. It took over an hour as she ended up showing me everything from Ruby's birth and her coming home to her first smile and her fights with solid food and pretty much every moment a parent wants to capture from her birth up until now. "She is extremely cute...thanks for this Tris it means a lot" a shy smile flashed across her face before she turned to look at me more seriously.

I am completely taken a back when she says to me, "Tobias..I want to and I need to apologise to you."

 _What could she possibly be sorry for?_

 **Sorry for leaving it there but let me know your thoughts. Hopefully a new chapter will be up in a couple of days but I have a few events on over the weekend so I can't promise anything**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 - Tris**

I have just finished showing Tobias my rather large collection of photographs of Ruby and although I had intended to do that at some point, I must admit it was a way to break the glass in order to be able to say what I needed to. It was a rash decision to come over here and I was stood outside his front door for quite some time and I was starting to panic thinking I had misheard where he told me he lived but I was relieved to see him finally turn up. It did give me ample opportunity to turn around and walk straight out of the building but I knew I had to do this.

"She is extremely cute...thanks for this Tris it means a lot," I nervously smile back at him but soon realise this is the moment and I have to speak now, "Tobias..I want to and I need to apologise to you."

He was visibly stunned and immediately asked, "what could you possibly need to apologise for Tris?"

I make sure I maintain eye contact because I want him to believe every word I say, "I am angry at you for leaving and everything you have missed but... I shouldn't have lashed out as bad as I did. I failed to realise the sacrifice you made in order to protect us and how hard it would have been to go with Marcus. I just... I want to thank you for that." His gaze never leaves mine as he takes in my words and I am starting to second guess if I should have said anything at all as the silence is deafening.

Usually I am able to read his emotions but the intensity in his eyes is preventing me from doing so and I can't help fidgeting nervously under his gaze.

"I don't deserve an apology Tris or a thank you" he says rather firmly and I know his stubbornness will leave minimal room for convincing him otherwise.

"Did I want to leave, no, but I chose to and ultimately it was my decision and my fault that I have missed out on so much. So as hard as it probably was to say all that stuff to me, you didn't need to."

I can tell he is wallowing in his own self pity and I don't hesitate in responding.

"Tobias you can't continue to blame and beat yourself up over this otherwise it will continue to affect you...and us. I said all of that because I mean it and I am starting to forgive you, but you also need to forgive yourself. We both wish things were different but we can't change the past."

I know I am harbouring a lot of emotions over this ordeal so I can only imagine what he is experiencing and although I want nothing more than to be there for him, I have to keep him at an arm's length. We are both fragile with heightened emotions and as much as I want to stay and make sure he is okay I know it is in my best interests to leave.

He doesn't provide any response so I get up and as I move past him he latches onto my hand and tugs ever so slightly so I am facing him. "No don't...don't go" he pleads whilst playing with my fingers, "can you just stay with me for a while?" He is begging me to stay and looking down at him is only causing me further heartache, "I don't think that's a good idea Tobias," his grip tightens and his voice wavers as he speaks, "I miss you so much Tris...I don't know how to get through this...and I need you." My walls are ever so slightly starting to crack as I feel myself reciprocating his hold on my hand, "I miss you too..." but as I start to give in to him I feel a tug on the back of my jeans and I am reminded as to why I need to leave. I try and remove my hand from his so I can tend to Ruby but he again tightens his hold and from the lack of attention she starts crying. "Tobias let go she's crying!" I shout at him and as I pull harder he finally relinquishes his hold so I immediately turn to tend to her.

I am holding her tight to my chest whispering calming words and rubbing her back in the hope she will start to quiet down. I can see from the corner of my eye that he is yet to move so I let out a frustrated groan and try and locate where I put my bag so I can leave. I finally spot it atop of the small wooden table by the hallway, which I suppose he uses as a dining table, and make a move directly towards it in the hope for a quick escape. I grab it and make my way to the door where Tobias is stood firmly in position. An exacerbated sigh escapes from my lips, "please move Tobias...I need to go" he shakes his head and moves towards me. Ruby has, thankfully, started to quiet down but that is only one of my worries taken care of as the other is moving towards me.

He plants himself in front of me and gently caresses my cheek, "please Tris..I can't...I can't do this alone, please stay." His mood has done a complete 180 since I showed him the pictures and I have never seen him this emotional or vulnerable over anything and it is tugging at my heart strings. His deep blue eyes are staring intently into mine and I could very easily get lost in them, but I take the hand that isn't holding Ruby up to his which is still on my cheek and take it into my own. I give it a gentle squeeze before looking back up to him, "you're not alone I will always be here, but as a friend. Thank you for the toys but I think it is best for me to go now, Ruby is tired and I need to get home but I will see you over the weekend." I give him the most reassuring smile I can muster and force my way around him and without looking back I make my way out of his apartment and down to my car.

...

It is has been a couple of days since I was at Tobias's apartment and with the weekend now here I am expecting to see him at some point. We have texted a couple of times but with minimal conversation, merely checking in on each other.

I did tell Uriah about seeing him and apologising for how I have treated him but I didn't feel the need to elaborate any further as it would only add to his worry. He caused me to come to the realisation of how I have been acting towards Tobias and I know his intention wasn't to push us closer together but I feel by acknowledging everything aloud that we are starting the healing process, which will ultimately draw us closer.

"Mama mama" I hear Ruby yell insistently and immediately I fear the worst so I run towards the sound of her voice only to find her desperately pointing towards her Zebra stuffed animal which was just out of her reach. It was one of the toys Tobias had bought her and she has refused to be without it since, clutching it tightly as she slept and accompanying her in her every movement. I was surprised at her obvious affinity towards it as she hasn't ever focused on one specific toy rather a lot at once. As soon as I hand it back to her, her face lights up with joy "daddy got you that didn't he" I question and she looks up at me wide eyed. She smiles playfully, "dada dada dada" and it is my turn for my eyes to shoot wide open in surprise at what she just said. My hand flies over my mouth as she has yet to say anything close to daddy, but I suppose she hadn't heard it a lot until recently, and it is an overwhelming feeling hearing her say it.

"Yeah it is from your dada" my eyes start to water as I never thought she would have the opportunity to know her dad, "mama cy" she says to me as she wraps her arms around my legs. I let out a soft laugh at her concern and kneel down to her level to give her a hug, "they're happy tears Ruby" I tell her "happy tears" and before I know it she has shot out of my arms and out of the room much to my confusion. I go to find her only to hear a knock on the front door so I make my way there and see she has beat me too it. "There you are cheeky girl" I chuckle at her and manoeuvre may way in front of her to open the door and prevent her from getting out.

I swing the door open and I am surprised to see him here now, "hey Tris" he greets me and I merely stare at him "are you going to let me in..or just stare at me?" I smile nervously at him and I don't know why I feel this tense but I try and push it to the back of my mind for now. "Sorry" I laugh anxiously, "come on in." I lead him into the kitchen asking if he would like a drink and make myself busy whilst he plays with Ruby. I am just finishing up our drinks when I feel him touch my shoulder and I lean in to his touch, "sorry I'm just a little on edge for some reason" I explain to him.

"It's alright, you need me to do anything whilst I am here?" he asks while continuing his slight massage of my shoulders, "no thanks just being here is helping."

We talk for a while over coffee as Ruby continues to hold a firm grip on her Zebra and for the second time today the sound of someone knocking on the door makes Ruby dash towards it and I am about to get up but I am stopped by his hand on my thigh, "you stay put I will get it," I smile appreciatively as I am enjoying the break from running around the house all weekend cleaning and watching Ruby.

An unusual amount of time passes with no sign of anyone and I am absolutely sure I heard the door open but not close. I internally groan at having to get up and I make my way to the front door, "Uriah is everything alr-" I stop midsentence as I am met with both Uriah and Tobias staring intensely at one another on either side of the threshold whilst Ruby is between the pair trying to get either of them to pay attention to her.

I bring my hands to my head and squeeze ever so slightly trying to relieve a little stress and I can't help but think that this day isn't going to be as relaxing as I had hoped, with both of them here this is going to be interesting.

 **Surprised I did manage finding some time but once again I would love to hear your thoughts :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – Tobias**

After Tris left the other day I have tried to continue to focus my efforts entirely on getting a job because I can't bear to recollect the events, but no matter what they always manage to squirm their way back into my mind. I blame myself entirely for everything and for her to apologise and then thank me caught me off guard and sent my head spinning. I know she was right when she said I had to start forgiving myself but it is an easier thing said than done and at this current point in time Ruby is a constant physical reminder of everything I have missed, I wouldn't change her for the world but it only adds to my self-loathing.

I have promised myself to never let it affect my relationship with her because I don't want to miss another second of her life.

When Tris got up to leave I panicked slightly and I didn't intend to be as rough as I was with her and no matter how hard I try I can't forget the way she shouted at me to let her go. I was so focused on her I failed to realise my grip could be hurting her and a deep sense of dread coursed through my veins at the thought. I pleaded with her to stay because I didn't want to be alone, alone with my thoughts and the fears that keep my awake at night or the insecurities that tell me I am no good for her.

I did hold onto the fact the she did say she would see me over the weekend and despite my apprehensions I make my way to her house nevertheless. I knock softly and wait rather nervously for the door to open. Every time I have seen Tris since I came back I have been nothing but a bundle of nerves, from a combination of my feelings for her and for the way we have left each meeting on a rather tense note.

I hear a small thump on the other side of the door and stare questionably at it before moments later I take notice of the turns of the locks which causes the door to open. I prepare myself for a pair of stormy gray eyes but instead I am met with a pair of brown ones mirroring my own shock. We both stand awkwardly facing each other with intense glares with neither of us prepared to back down.

I feel a slight tug on the hem of my t-shirt and before I can look down hear a voice from inside, "Uriah is everything alr-" and she suddenly stops and without looking I know Tris has realised what is happening.

As the insistent tugging continues I tear my eyes off Uriah and glance down to be greeted with a big toothy smile which I reciprocate all too easily and notice immediately the calming effect she has on me. "Hey Ruby" I say and I notice her clutching a toy tightly by her side and as I reach down to lift her up I see it is the stuffed zebra toy I bought her the other day and the euphoric feeling it provides is very unfamiliar. I hold her proudly to my chest only for her to turn her head back towards the house, "Iah, iah" she says whilst holding her hands out to Uriah and instantly my heart drops. She starts struggling in my hold so I reluctantly pass her over to Uriah and as I retreat I cast an eye inside to where Tris is stood with an apologetic expression etched on her face.

I can only stand and watch as Uriah tickles and holds _my_ daughter and the anger starts bubbling under the surface and just as I am about to turn away I feel a hand latch onto my forearm. My strength would easily remove their hold but her delicate touch and the sudden electric like sensation stops me in my tracks. "T-Four," I know she isn't calling me Tobias because Uriah is only a few feet away but it still evokes a disheartening feeling, "come inside…please" she pleads.

I knew that it was a possibility that Ruby would have grown close to him but I didn't imagine it would hurt as deeply as it does. I run my hands through my hair in frustration before I turn to look at her and then take a quick glance over her shoulder at Uriah and Ruby assessing what to do before I hesitantly agree.

We make our way inside towards what I now know is the living room with Uriah and Ruby following close behind and you could cut the tension with a knife. My irritation is simmering under the surface as Uriah makes his affection towards Ruby blatantly obvious and I don't know if it is because I am hyper aware of him around my daughter, or if he is doing it on purpose. I clench and unclench my fists to relieve some of the tension before I say anything but I am beaten to it by Tris.

"Look I know this..situation" she gestures to all of us "is far from normal but can we at least try and get along…for Ruby's sake?" That's easy for her to say because she isn't watching another woman hold her child who she obviously has a closer bond with.

I know from my limited conversations with Tris that Uriah has helped her and Ruby tremendously and I am appreciative of him keeping my girls safe, _then I remind myself that she is not really my girl anymore.._ but I don't ever want him to be considered as Ruby's 'other' father.

"Uriah, I am grateful for everything you have helped them with and I…respect your relationship with Tris but" I say somewhat begrudgingly before taking a calming breath because I don't want to scare Ruby, "she is _my_ daughter and I would appreciate it if you'd remember that." The feeling of saying that roll off my tongue continues to send waves of emotions through me but as I focus back onto Uriah I notice that I have rarely seen him anything other than a happy go lucky guy but as he places Ruby on the floor I know he is currently not that guy, but I struggle to identify his exact emotions.

"Four I have never and will never try and be her dad but I would appreciate it if _you_ remember and respect _our_ relationship" he says whilst moving closer to Tris.

Knowing about their relationship is one thing but seeing it in the flesh is completely different and I feel as though I am being pulled in two directions, one of jealousy and one of accepting Tris being happy and forgetting about my own feelings.

I think Tris senses my discomfort as she moves away from Uriah slightly before announcing moments later that she is going to change Ruby's diaper, _great_ it leaves Uriah and I alone. Silence consumes us again as Tris' lack of presence leaves us with no mediator, but I take this as my opportunity to ask what I have been longing to know.

"Why?" I ask. He scrunches his face in what I can only assume is confusion so I grumble "Tris."

His jaw slacks slightly so I know he understands but he does take his time formulating a response, which is probably wise.

"Well…it just sort of happened but you…you know I have always liked her in _that_ way," as I tightly scrunch my eyebrows together he raises his hands defensively, "I never planned it and I wouldn't have ever stepped on your toes…but you left and it was over a year so she wasn't really yours anymore."

"I didn't want to leave!" I unexpectedly shout in retaliation. The caveman inside of me yearned to continue yelling and puffing my chest proclaiming she was mine and always would be but the amicable side knew I had to learn to accept that was no longer the case. Despite knowing she was no longer mine it hurt knowing someone so close to me was now _that_ person.

"I never wanted to leave her, can you imagine walking away from her right now?" I question and he insistently shakes his head. "It was the hardest thing I have ever done but I know…I know she is still here because I did. You were like a brother to me Uriah and I understand you liked her…but…did it have to be her? Out of everyone, why did it have to be her?" I say exacerbated.

"I really care about her Four" he says sensitively, "I get what you two had, but I think we can be something special and I don't want you jeopardising that. I know she still cares about you because you are the father of her child but I know she feels as strongly towards me as I do her so…for her sake let her continue being happy with me."

"I just want her to be loved and continuously happy" I reply truthfully but with an obvious dejected tone.

"She is with me so…just let her go and accept we are together. She doesn't need you anymore so give her the chance to properly move on by actually telling her it is over Four."

I feel as though I have been stabbed directly in the heart as hearing my inner fears and thoughts voiced aloud by him makes everything real. If she feels as strongly as he says she does then I don't want to ruin that, I would live the rest of my life being miserable if it meant she got a lifetime of happiness.

Tris walks in a few moments later and its obvious she notices the shift in mood as she glances from Uriah to me on numerous occasions waiting for someone to say something. It admittedly takes me too much time to realise she hasn't brought Ruby back in with her and as if pre-empting what I was going to ask she states, "I put her down for a nap" whilst shaking the baby monitor "I didn't want her around for whatever is going to be said." I nod in acknowledgment.

"There is nothing left to be said, we have both said our parts" Uriah responds definitively and Tris simply looks unconvinced.

 **Tris POV**

I am astounded to hear Uriah say in complete certainty that he and Tobias have both said exactly what they needed to in the time it took me to change Ruby's diaper and settle her down for a nap. Tobias isn't usually a man of many words and I know he bottles up the majority of what he is thinking and feeling so I don't think, no matter how close they use to be, that he has completely said his part. Looking between the pair I can tell Uriah has most likely put forward his points, which no doubt included me, and Tobias has either lashed out or internalised Uriah's point of view as being one hundred percent accurate. I know both of them well enough to know a simple statement targeting Tobias's insecurities will shut him down and that Uriah most likely knew that.

Uriah starts shuffling towards me on the couch whilst Tobias is sitting directly opposite and for the second time today I feel uncomfortable with the affection whilst Tobias is here. He snakes his arm around my waist and Tobias' eye catches it almost immediately and I can't help but think he is being possessive and staking his claim over me.

I whisper in his ear, "Uriah, don't try and stake your claim over me please."

"I'm not, can't I hold _my_ girlfriend when I like?" he asks much louder than a whisper and from the corner of my eye I see Tobias with his head hanging between his knees.

"It isn't fair on him"

"He can't dictate every aspect of our relationship Tris" he spits back at me.

I'm taken aback seeing Uriah this tense as for most of the time I have known him he always remains optimistic and happy and I don't exactly know how to deal with it. I know Tobias can hear what we are saying because we aren't being nearly as subtle as I would like and he is only a couple of meters away.

"Can we not do this now?" I question and one thing I can tell is that he is starting to get frustrated as he is cracking his knuckles, something I have noticed he does in tense times.

"Why, this involves him so really he should be here"

"What is up with you?" I question in return and he shakes his head at me in disbelief.

He takes a deep breath, "Tris, I care for you a lot but he" pointing towards Tobias "dictates our relationship whether you know it or not. I am not Four and I never will be-"

"I know you're not" I interject "I didn't want you to be."

We have both moved on from whispering and there is no way Tobias can't hear what we are saying and I desperately want to look over at him but I don't know how Uriah will perceive that gesture.

"Tris" Tobias proclaims out of the blue. I instantly turn around to face him and see the inner conflict in his eyes. "Uriah obviously cares about you and…I know you feel the same. You're happy now so I don't want to get in the way…any more than I have already." My mind is trying to process his words but as he starts moving towards Uriah I lose track of my thoughts.

With a quick glance my way he then directs his attention onto Uriah, "take care of her Uriah and treat her well" he says firmly and I know Uriah wouldn't have been able to notice but the slight waver in his voice sends my heart plummeting at both his words and his vulnerable tone. They both nod awkwardly at one another in agreeance and I can't help but think they are deciding who I should be with for me.

When Tobias turns to leave I spring into action, "no" I yell to no one in particular. I feel both pairs of eyes on me and I alternate my gaze between the two so they understand this is directed at them both. "Neither of you get to decide what I want or who I should be with. I can quite easily make my own decisions. T-Four I want you in my life and more importantly Ruby's, and Uriah I want you in my life as well but" I trail off towards the end as I realise how conflicted my true emotions really are.

Their stares are now confused and as I take a few moments to look at them both I know I love them both but the question I have been asking myself ever since Tobias came back is, am I really _in love_ with both of them.

 **For some reason I found this chapter hard to write but hopefully it was still good and I have my fingers crossed the next will flow a lot better. I just want to say thank you so much for all the reviews, I love hearing your thoughts and feedback!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – Tris**

 _"_ _Neither of you get to decide what I want or who I should be with. I can quite easily make my own decisions. T-Four I want you in my life and more importantly Ruby's, and Uriah I want you in my life as well but" I trail off towards the end as I realise how conflicted my true emotions really are. Their stares are now confused and as I take a few moments to look at them both I know I love them both but the question I have been asking myself ever since Tobias came back is, am I really in love with both of them._

They both look at me expectantly waiting for me to finish what I was saying, but truth be told I have no idea what to say next. I am finding it hard to separate my emotions and if I can't even process them in my mind how am I going to be able to articulate them.

I am only now realising love is a powerful but confusing emotion which at times is all too consuming and in others completely mystifying.

It isn't fair on either of them but I can't help the way I feel and I know I have been silent for far too long so in order to alleviate some of the tension I begin to ramble with no idea of what I am trying to say.

"You just…you both have to try and understand how difficult this is. My mind is…a jumbled mess I feel as though I have no idea of what is up and what is down right now-"

"But what" Uriah interjects.

"Huh" I return with a confused brow and he looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to probably realise what he means but everything in my mind is a blur.

Understanding that I don't know what he is referring to he explains, "before you said, Uriah I want you in my life as well but.. So care to expand on what you meant by the but?" I know he wants an answer but I sense he is also scared of what that may be.

The honest answer would be that I am unsure of what I want from him, and really Tobias as well, a friendship or a relationship. I can't fault him in any way from the time we have been together, he was never simply a replacement for Tobias because no one could replace him but he has always been there for me and I do love him. _But am I in love with him?_

Sensing my apprehension he moves slowly towards me, "do you want to have a word, in private?" I agree as it might be easier to talk without Tobias being part of the audience. I leave the baby monitor with Tobias and Uriah then guides me into the kitchen and leans against one counter and I do the same but on the opposite side.

I don't know what to say so I am simply waiting for him to initiate the conversation and hopefully when the time does come for me to talk I can conjure something up. He does look visibly calmer and more relaxed now that we are alone and he then starts rubbing his hands over his face and when he removes them he flashes me a tentative smile whilst shaking his head.

"This whole situation…is weird and I don't really know what to think of it all but I do want to apologise for what I did before" he clears his throat "I umm..I shouldn't have been as full on and possessive as I was I just…I don't know how to handle all of this."

"You don't need to apologise I understand how hard this is" I say trying to reassure him.

"I know I went about it the wrong way but I just don't want to lose you Tris. Four has always been the one for you and since he has come back I have noticed you pulling away from me-"

"It hasn't been on purpose" I interrupt rather weakly,

He nods unconvincingly, "so are you going to tell me what you meant when you said but earlier?"

I knew he would ask again as it is the reason we are stood alone talking, but I am still as unprepared as I was before, but I do know Uriah has been nothing but good to me so I need to be as honest as I can.

"I don't know…I just feel confused about how I feel. I want you both in my life but in what capacity I'm not sure.." I trail off towards the end as saying it aloud brings the issue to a head.

"So you want him back?" he asks with an obvious dejected tone and having never seen this side of him I don't know what to say.

After a bit of deliberation and a considerable pause, in which he most likely perceived as me silently agreeing to him, I tried to say what I was thinking.

"Just because he is back doesn't mean everything will go back to how it was. Yes I loved him, and part of me always will, but he left and I'm not just going to forget that in an instant. I am happy being with you Uriah and you treat me and Ruby incredibly well. You have always been there for me even when I didn't know I needed you. I know you are always comparing yourself to Four but you two couldn't be any more different and I don't want you to ever think you were second choice." I surprise myself with how much I was able to say and I meant every word.

He starts cracking his knuckles again and I start to worry about where this is heading, "that's just it, you're _just_ happy being with me and I feel I'm more in this" gesturing between us "than you are. But if he hadn't left, you wouldn't have chosen to be with me would you?" There it was. The question I have been waiting for, for a long time really.

"I don't kn-" I start,

"Tris" he returns with a knowing look.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and drop my head a little as the possible repercussions of my answer start swirling around in my mind.

"Probably not, but you can never be sure of anything" I say the last part as quickly as I can as I want him to know the future can never be predicted, to say it in absolute terms that we would never have gotten together wouldn't be fair.

I expect him to be angry or bitter but as he moves towards me arms stretched inviting me for a hug I can't help but smile as this is the Uriah I know and love and I shouldn't have assumed otherwise. I wrap my arms around his torso as his come around my shoulders and let myself feel the comfort his hold provides. My left cheek is directly over his heart and I let my mind wonder to all the times his arms held me in moments of sadness, pain, love and happiness until I feel his chest reverberate and realise he is saying something. "I think we both know what this means Tris" I tighten my hold around his waist, "Tris" he chokes out "I didn't mean this is the time to kill me" and I can't help the giggle that escapes "sorry" I manage to say whilst loosening my hold.

We both settle down and the atmosphere turns sombre once more, "I have loved this time with you and I really do wish we were meant to be. I want you to know I will always be here for you and Ruby whenever you need me, and also whenever Four is being a pansycake." I can't control the laughter that escapes or the tears which slowly cascade down my face. I pull back slightly to look at him and see his trademark grin but his eyes filled with sadness, "we can work this out" I say but again he shakes his head and I know what this means. I don't know what to feel but I do know that I am indebted to this man and he needs to know that, "thank you Uriah…for everything. I wish things could work out differently…but I know there is someone out there for you who will love you with their entire heart."

He moves away from me and I take the time to wipe my tears away before he places a kiss on my forehead and says, "I will see you around Tris" as he turns and leaves me alone with my thoughts wondering what just happened and how quickly that all unfolded.

I hear the sound of the front door opening and closing and realise Uriah just walked out and effectively our relationship is over. This doesn't mean I want to or will get back with Tobias because what I said to Uriah was true, I can't simply forget what happened.

I have been in the kitchen now for some time trying to compose myself before I face Tobias and realising Ruby is in her room taking a nap I go to check up on her. I am feeling emotional but I do know Uriah will continue to be my friend as he did tell me he will always be there for me and Ruby which does ease the pain slightly.

As I enter Ruby's room I immediately panic as she isn't in her crib and rush to tell Tobias she isn't there when I reach the archway into the living room and see her playing contently with her toys with Tobias laying face up on the couch. I hover under the arch watching them both as neither are aware of my presence.

Moments later I watch as Ruby climbs up onto Tobias, with her Zebra in tow, and lays on his chest and he doesn't provide her with any attention so I watch as she sits up with her legs on either side of him and bounces up and down. When that doesn't work she starts making loud noises and then yells, "DADA DADA" and he instantly shoots up from his position in amazement and disbelief. I instantly gasp and feel my heart race as hearing her say it earlier was incredible but seeing Tobias hear it is indescribable. Tears start to pool in my eyes as he stares down at Ruby lovingly with nothing but pure delight on his face. Ruby giggles with glee as she finally got the attention she wanted and as my feet shift on the floorboards they creak and Tobias immediately turns his attention towards me and that is when I see he also has tears in his eyes which he makes no attempt to hide.

I make my way over to them and I can't help the smile I flash at him, momentarily forgetting what has just happened in order to appreciate this moment. I smile down at Ruby and tell her what a clever girl she is and she only gets more excited at having double the attention before leaping off Tobias' lap and immersing herself with all her toys. We both laugh at her short attention span before he turns to look at me and then to the archway leaving his ecstatic look behind as he gives me a quizzical expression.

"He left" is all I say and I hope he doesn't push any further so we can simply enjoy this moment.

"Because he had too or.." and once he sees my façade falter he stops what he's saying and gives me a half-hearted sympathetic look. "Sorry I didn't mean to pry" he goes on to explain and I simply cast a small smile his way before directing my attention onto Ruby.

"I can't believe she actually called me dada" he says in disbelief after a long intermission.

"Was that her first time?" he asks excitedly and I don't know whether or not to lie or tell him she did say it earlier.

"She mmm..she said it earlier today" once I see a flash of disappointment in his eyes I immediately tell him "I was helping her get the Zebra when I told her, her daddy got it for her and then she just said dada repeatedly and it was overwhelming. I didn't realise she had the word association until she said it now."

He seems happy with that and comments on her obvious attachment to the Zebra and I can't help but tell him that she refuses to let it out of her sight and it accompanies her everywhere she goes ever since he got it for her.

We fall into a comfortable silence as we both continue to watch her play and as much as I enjoy sharing these moments with him I need time alone because today hasn't been what I thought it would be. "I don't want to be rude or make your time with Ruby short but would you mind-"

"Leaving? Tris don't be afraid to ask I completely understand, I'll just say goodbye to Ruby" he says whilst flashing me a sincere smile. I watch as he picks Ruby up from behind and she squeals in delight before he bombards her with kisses as she tries to squirm from his hold in a fit of laughter. After he places Ruby back on the floor I follow him out towards the front door where he opens it and turns towards me.

"I'm sorry about today, it didn't really pan out how I'd imagined but I'll make sure you see her soon,"

"Tris I told you it's okay, and I will definitely hold you to that just…look after yourself okay" I nod and move to close the door because I know he will attempt to give me a hug and I know if he does I will want to stay in his arms forever so it is best for the both of us if that doesn't happen. I flash him a quick smile and close the door where I quickly move back to the living room and hold Ruby as tightly as she will allow whilst reflecting on today.

 **This isn't how I had planned this chapter but it felt right as I writing it so hopefully you all enjoyed it. It is a tricky thing navigating all their relationships but as always would love to hear your thoughts and feedback**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Tobias**

It has been a couple of weeks since I went over to Tris' and soon after I managed to find a job at an IT company in the city. Despite my previous work experience I am having to start from the bottom and work my way up all over again and as a the new guy I can't really dictate my working hours, which consequently means I have only been able to see Tris and Ruby briefly a handful of times since I started.

Our brief encounters don't allow for many conversations between Tris and I as Ruby tends to take all my attention, but I have an inkling she isn't too concerned about that. I on the other hand find it continually running through my mind as I attempt to analyse what actually happened.

I was in no way expecting Uriah to be there when I arrived and watching him with both Ruby and Tris deeply unsettled me as I realised if I had never come back they could potentially be a family, and still could. I didn't want to disrupt their potential happiness and hearing him talk so affectionately and strongly for Tris made me realise that if he made her happy then I would support them, despite how I felt as though my heart was tearing apart as I said those words aloud.

That is why when they both excused themselves out of the room I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't foresee Tris coming into the room alone telling me he had left. She didn't want to elaborate but I am still unsure of how the pair of them left it as I can't imagine them breaking it off, but Tris seemed upset and ever since it is all I can think about.

Work does keep me busy and provides periods in which I can focus on other things and this week I have been added to a project which requires working on a new software which is being released in a few months so it needs a lot of fine tuning. It means working long hours which assists in turning off my brain for a while but it unfortunately doesn't align with everyone else's work schedule and I am struggling to find time to see them.

Luckily I have been let off work early today as it is a Friday and with everything that has transpired this past month I haven't had time to catch up with Zeke and when he called inviting me over for a drink I jumped at the chance.

When the time came to clock off I don't think I could have left work any quicker than I did as a quiet relaxing evening is just what I need, and after an hour on the bus I have finally made it to Zeke's street and as I approach his house I notice a few cars who's owners are unknown to me. I immediately curse him as he assured me it would only be the two of us and now I have no idea what I am about to walk into. I make my way tentatively towards the front door where I hear a ruckus of noise from within and I throw my head back in frustration at the prospect of having to face a number of people all at once. The desire to turn around and go home is far outweighing walking through that front door, but before I can even turn around the door opens and out comes Zeke with a wide smile until he sees me and he immediately looks guilty.

I scowl at him to clearly illustrate my deep distaste for whatever he is playing at and he gives me an apologetic look, "sorry Four..I didn't plan this" he explains while motioning towards the house. He seems to sense my apprehension but he merely gives me an encouraging smile and walks back inside leaving the door wide open. I expected him to at least try and talk me into coming in or even resort to using physical force so I am a little thrown off by his tactics. I loiter outside and give myself a little pep talk in order to convince myself I will be able to handle all these people at once and slowly make my way into the house.

Immediately I see Zeke and Shauna close together talking privately and I know not to interrupt them but as I scan the room I notice everyone has fallen silent and all eyes are directed my way. I rub the back of my neck nervously before I hear a familiar giggle echo through the room which I know I will never fail to recognise. My eyes instantly shift towards the sound and I see Tris and Christina enter from the back door wide eyed, no doubt questioning why everyone has turned to look their way.

"Well if this isn't awkward" I faintly hear Christina say to break the silence as my eyes never waver from Tris'.

I realise I have probably been staring for way too long for it to go unnoticed so I reluctantly tear my eyes away from hers and only now take the time to really notice who is actually here. I see Christina move towards a man with blonde shaggy hair with whom I am unfamiliar with, and I assume with the way he looks at her they are more than friends. I also notice Marlene and Lynn are here with a group of other women who look to be friends of Shauna's as they have all gravitated towards her as though if left alone next to Marlene and Lynn they may attack, I know that isn't the case for Marlene but with Lynn you can never be sure.

I look back to where I last saw Tris and see she is no longer there and my curiosity peaks when Zeke comes up beside me and tells me "she went down the hall," and without a second of hesitation I make my way through the house. I notice all the doors bar one are closed, the room I stayed in when I first came back is slightly ajar and I let my feet guide me towards it and I come to a halt outside as I hear her start to talk.

"Mummy loves you baby girl, I'm not far away I will only be down the hall but you go back to sleep," after a moment of confusion I realise Ruby must be here so I quietly make my way into the room as to not startle either of them.

"Daddy loves you too" I whisper softly which still manages to startle them both as Tris spins around and Ruby starts to stir and I scrunch my eyes together at having disturbed them both despite my intentions not to.

"Dada" Ruby says groggily and my heart feels like it has melted and spilled all over the floor just as it did hearing it for the first time and I cannot withhold the smile which adorns my face. Tris motions for me to come closer so I slowly take a seat on the side of bed next to Tris whilst Ruby lies facing us in the middle. Ruby reaches her small hand towards me and I take it in mine noticing the stark contrast in size, and I rub soothing circles on her palm with my thumb waiting for sleep to overtake her.

We both remain silent whilst we watch our daughter and I can't help but wish that we will have more moments like this as a family. I never would have thought I would feel this way about having a child but the love and the innate desire I have to protect her pushes any doubts I have of ever hurting her completely out of my mind. She is a part of me and more importantly a part of Tris and I would die before I did anything to put her in harm's way.

I feel her grip start to ease and I know she is almost sound asleep so I look towards Tris and notice a few tears coursing down her cheeks and without a second thought I reach my free hand up to her face and gently swipe away her tears with my thumb. I feel her lean into my touch before looking at me shyly with an embarrassed smile and it causes my heart to flutter. Her tears have stopped falling but I maintain my hold as I'm not ready to let her go just yet and when she bites her lip desire immediately sweeps through me.

I find myself leaning closer to her and realise she is doing the same and as we get closer I can feel her warm breath which sends tingles down my spine. As our foreheads meet I can't resist the urge to look at her lips and as I do her tongue sweeps across her lower lip and a deep, guttural groan escapes from me. I pull her slightly towards me and our lips are tantalisingly close that in one swift movement I could capture them, but I don't want to be the one to make the first move.

I sense her moving nearer and my breath catches in my throat at the thought of feeling her lips on mine after all this time and I feel the slight graze of her lips on mine, "Tris are you alri-" we spring apart and turn towards the door where a stunned Christina stands in place.

I clear my throat to try and relieve some of the uncomfortableness in the atmosphere and _elsewhere_.

Christina's stunned expression has now turned into a harsh glare directed solely towards me and from my peripheral vision I see Tris tucking Ruby in and just as she is about to speak Christina drags her out of the room. All I can do is place my head in my hands in exasperation, thinking of the worst possible ways that this is most likely going to affect Tris and I.

I feel Ruby move and turn and see her with her mouth slightly open with her arm over her forehead and for a brief moment I forget what just happened and realise she sleeps just like me, or how Tris used to tell me I did. I give her a gentle kiss on her forehead and make my way back to the living room where yet another awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere is sure to greet me.

 **Tris POV**

"What the hell was that?!" Christina hisses at me whilst dragging me outside away from everyone who thankfully are too engrossed in their conversations to notice us. She looks at me expectantly waiting for me to explain but I am struggling to conjure up anything.

"I...I don't know" I stumble out.

"Well what I saw was you and Four about to swap spit and from what I remember you have a boyfriend" she states accusingly.

 _Shit._ I forgot I haven't told her about Uriah and I yet, it has been a couple of weeks but I couldn't find it within myself to tell her because I know she would assume it is about Tobias, which part of it is but I feel there is a lot more to it.

"We broke up" I say almost inaudibly. I can clearly see the shock on her face and I thought she would have a harsh remark but she simply says, "well guess I can't say I didn't think that would happen" with a shrug of her shoulders and a coy smile.

I can never predict how Christina will react and I am thrown off by her indifferent mood and clear juxtaposition to her previous attitude, and as she is open about most things I expected the same in this situation. However this time she walks back inside keeping her thoughts to herself when I so desperately want to hear them.

I think back to what just happened and I honestly don't know what came over me but being in such close proximity to Tobias and seeing him light up around Ruby sent my heart aflutter and desire to stir deep within me. I felt as though I was on auto-pilot and I was merely watching myself move closer to him and the feeling of his lips grazing mine only increased the need I have for him.

I am equally grateful and annoyed that Christina interrupted us, but I know deep down that I'm not ready for anything more. I'm still processing everything about the circumstances of him leaving and his return, and the whole Uriah situation only adds to my long list of worries. I'm not in the right frame of mind and it wouldn't be fair on him to lead him on, or Ruby who needs stability.

I huff in irritation for putting myself in yet another sticky situation and I don't want it to be awkward between us now but I know Tobias, and I know he will instantly be thinking the worse so after a few more quiet moments outside I too make my way back inside.

 **Once again I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback. The next update will most likely be in a week as I am going away for a few days without access to my computer and I won't have time to write so I shall be back next week :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 – Tris**

I've been standing awkwardly with Shauna and her friends for a while now as Christina is practically hanging off Will in the corner of the room and Tobias, as I expected, has yet to acknowledge me as he stands closely by Zeke. I am continually glancing over in his direction in the hope of meeting his gaze but he stands with his back towards me and I am getting frustrated at his childish behaviour. He can't decide one minute that he wants to kiss me and the next completely ignore me, I'm seriously considering waking Ruby and going home as my mood has changed drastically over past couple of hours.

I have no idea what anyone is saying as I am so caught up in my own thoughts but ultimately I decide I need to leave however I will wait for Marlene and Lynn to return, from who knows where, as I don't know when I will see them again as we don't often get together like this.

"Have no fear, Uriah is here!" I immediately spin around towards the front door and see Uriah posing with his hands on his hips like Superman with Marlene and Lynn either side, I can't contain my laughter and by the sounds of it no one else can either.

By the looks of it Marlene and Lynn picked him up straight from work and I am glad they brought him over as I didn't think he would willingly come after everything that has occurred between us, but not having the opportunity to see a lot of him since we broke it off and instantly I feel buoyed by his effervescent attitude, which makes me realise how much I really have missed him.

I watch as he slowly makes his way around the room greeting everyone, managing to break Christina and Will apart for a brief moment and giving Zeke a brotherly hug whilst managing a firm handshake with Tobias. As he shakes his hand I manage to catch Tobias' eye for a split second before he quickly diverts them away and I have to concentrate on holding down the rage which is bubbling within me.

I didn't realise the fierce look which had taken over my face or how tightly I was clenching my fists until Uriah starts approaching me with his hands up and says in a light hearted manner, "Whoa girl! I thought we were good but we can fight it out if you want."

I instantly feel my anger decrease and his satisfied grin only causes me to laugh even more before he envelopes me in a hug. We pull apart moments later and he immediately asks, "what's wrong?" and as I let out a deep sigh a knowing look covers his features, "Four?"

I nod my head and he simply rolls his eyes before telling me, "look he can be clueless 95% of the time when it comes to you and I know he never wants to talk it out but…I think you need to corner him and talk about whatever happened because he is wound up so tightly over there I think he might pass out."

I take a moment to digest his words and I love how despite us no longer being together he still is willing to give me advice concerning Tobias even when he is a contributing factor to why we are no longer together. It only proves how great of a man and friend he is, "thank you Uriah" I say genuinely and wrap my arms around his neck only to see Tobias storm out the back of the house and my head drops on Uriah's shoulder in defeat and I can't hold back the groan which escapes. I take a step back, "would you mind checking on Ruby quickly whilst I go check on another baby" I ask him and he agrees with a slight chuckle, as I follow Tobias's footsteps I inform Uriah which room Ruby is in and he mouths good luck to me, _I think I am going to need it_.

I take in a deep breath before stepping outside and it isn't long before I see him as he is pacing across the yard ripping up grass along the way with a frown deeply embedded in his features.

I make my over to him and usually he seems to be able to sense my presence but this time I don't know if he is simply ignoring me or he is so entrenched in his thoughts that he remains unaware of me being here.

I plant myself in his path and hope he realises as I don't fancy getting knocked over by a 6ft man and as he turns and moves towards me I brace myself for a number of outcomes: being knocked over, ignored or engaged in a rather heated conversation. With his eyes firmly set towards the ground I brace myself and clench my eyes shut and only when a few moments pass without contact I open my eyes to find him stood in front of me with a perplexed expression.

With his deep blue eyes boring into mine I immediately become flustered and momentarily I lose all conscious thought and the images swirling around my mind are far too explicit for the conversation I had planned coming out here. As soon as I realise how my body is reacting I shake my head to rid myself of all thoughts relating to anything other than addressing the incident earlier today, and his subsequent behaviour.

"What happened before was a mi-"

"No Tris…please don't say it was a mistake" he pleadingly interjects, "I know you felt what I did…and I am sorry if I overstepped a mark with you and Uriah but…please don't say it was a mistake."

"Tobias…Uriah and I aren't together anymore" I see his eyes light up momentarily and surprisingly also a flash of shame, "but that doesn't mean I am ready for anything…and your reaction was childish and I can't deal with two children Tobias."

"I'm sorry I just…" he trails off and I can tell he is starting to close up on me and my first thought is to walk away as I can't deal with him right now but I know this is my best chance to talk to him, so I hesitantly take his left hand in my right, "talk to me Tobias, we can't move forward with anything if you're not willing to open up to me."

He takes a deep breath and tightens his grip on my hand, "I didn't plan on anything happening…as soon as you left I knew it would probably change things between us and I wasn't ready to face that…I acted like a total dick and a jealous idiot, I'm sorry." He stares intently at our hands and I'm surprised at his admission of being jealous but I can't say I disagree with his assessment, I pull my hand out of his as I don't want to give him any other mixed messages.

I see him visibly recoil at my actions and I instantly regret it. We both stand quietly for what feels like an eternity before he is first to break the silence, "I am sorry to hear about you and Uriah" he says whilst rubbing the back of his neck. I return my line of vision towards his and I can see genuine sincerity in his expression, "I know" I reply with complete honesty.

Knowing I need to leave soon as I want Ruby settled in line with her schedule, so I don't get a stubborn little girl tomorrow, I steer the conversation back to where I had originally planned it to go. "Look I don't know exactly how what happened, happened but I need you to know…that despite Uriah and I no longer being together I can't jump into anything with you. I will admit and I suppose it is obvious that…I still have feelings for you but I need time to be me. I have been Tris and Tobias and Tris and Uriah, but I need to and want to simply be Tris."

I know my mixed signals won't be helping him understand as my constant shift in actions only add to both his and my confusion at what we are to each other, but I do sense his acceptance but also his feeling of rejection so I add, "I can't predict the future but I would like to think one day it does involve you and I together but I ask one thing," he nods "to please give me the time to process and move on from everything. I want you around with Ruby…and me and we will see how that goes and where it takes us." As I finish I shrug my shoulders and a slight blush creeps over my cheeks, which seems to be a usual feature when I am under his gaze.

I break eye contact with him and look towards the back door and realise we have a small audience and I inwardly groan at becoming the spectacle of the night once again. I am about to announce that I am going to head home when Tobias beats me to it, "Tris would you let Ruby stay the night at mine please" he says it so fast that initially I barely comprehend what he is saying. From the stiffness in his shoulders I know he is tense and as I replay his words in my head I realise what he has asked and instantly without second thought I say, "no."

I don't elaborate any further until he frustratingly asks, "why?"

Honestly I have been dreading this moment since I realised his apartment had two bedrooms. It isn't because I don't want him to spend time with her or I don't trust him with her it is just I don't want to have to share her. She has been solely under my care and supervision her whole life and we have never spent a full night apart and the thought scares me to death as something could happen and I wouldn't be on hand to help or comfort her when she needs me the most.

When I fail to respond he starts pleading his case, "I have her room all set up with toys and everything she likes, I have everything she eats and drinks and a set of clothes, even the entire apartment is baby proof I swear. I know how to look after her and you can pick her up first thing in the morning if it makes you feel better…please trust me enough to do this Tris" he is practically begging me towards the end.

I rub my temples to help relieve the pressure which is building in my head and I often forget how young we are sometimes as our responsibilities far surpass our age, I would never wish Ruby away but in times like this I often wonder what it would be like to be a 'normal' 23 year old with minimal responsibilities. Our arguments and discussions are often at least ten years our senior and in this moment I do wish I had that previous experience to guide me in making a decision.

"Tobias…I don't think she's ready"

"She's not ready or you're not ready" he snaps back harshly with raised eyebrows. "Tris it is one night I will send you regular updates if it'll make you feel better. I am her dad and she will be safe with me, I need this Tris…please." His tone becomes a lot softer as he probably realised the confrontational approach would not work in his favour.

Ultimately I know it is my decision to make and I am torn in two directions, one telling me that Ruby should be able to spend and needs to spend the night at her dads as he has done nothing to prove to me he isn't capable of looking after her. However the other direction is tugging on my protective mama bear instincts that tells me she is safer with me and nothing good will come of separating her from everything she knows.

I take in a deep breath and look him straight in the eye before I start processing my thoughts and decision aloud so he can hear exactly what and how I think.

 **I had a great time away and even had a day of post-holiday blues but I'm glad to be able to write again. I would love to hear your feedback and opinions on this chapter and hopefully I will be back with another update in a few days time.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 – Tobias**

Waiting for Tris to come to her final decision is excruciating and I can clearly see the wheels turning in her head but her hard set expression isn't providing me with much hope. I can't help but fidget nervously as the realisation of her denying me will only reaffirm her lack of trust in me, and my inability to care for Ruby.

I definitely hadn't planned on asking her if Ruby could stay tonight and the events of earlier will probably not work in my favour, but I am praying that she is willing to overlook that and ease a little of her hold on Ruby. I do, however, know that if her protective nature is as strong as mine then this could be an almost impossible task.

I know I haven't done much to show her I can look after Ruby and I guess I can't blame her if she doesn't think I am up to it- "Tobias," she says strongly which manages to break me out of my self-deprecating thoughts and instantly I become aware of the significance of her next words.

"You have to understand how hard this is…she hasn't ever been away from me" _not promising "_ and I do want you to be able to do this but…" _here it comes_ "I don't know if I can."

She throws her head back whilst I rub mine in frustration and she then takes a deep breath and searches for my eyes.

I try and communicate to her without words how much I need this and that as long as she is my care nothing will happen.

Our eyes are firmly locked onto one another's both searching for anything which will enlighten the other as to what we are thinking. With silence consuming both of us I can hear the hushed whispers of the people who have taken their spots outside behind me, and the not so hushed whispers of Christina who has obviously had a little too much to drink. I hear her 'whisper' sloppily "soooo much sexual tension" and I have to consciously hold back the grin I am sure has already spread across my face. I know I'm not the only one to have heard her as I notice a red blush creep over Tris's face and we both shuffle uncomfortably at the added tension, to the already uncomfortable atmosphere.

Tris is first to break eye contact as her eyes shift towards her feet and I have to swallow the lump in my throat at her now impending decision and just as I am about to add a final word in the hope of swaying her, I hear her softly say "okay."

 _What?!_ I shake my head in disbelief as I don't think I heard her right, "okay?" I question, "like…yes okay?" I reiterate just to be clear and she simply nods at me with a nervous smile and adds,

"Yes, Tobias she can stay at yours tonight."

If I could do multiple cartwheels and back handsprings right now I would as I am that happy, and I am sure Tris can tell as I can't wipe the smile off my face.

We are still stood a few feet apart and I am craving to be closer to her so I know I am probably testing the boundaries but I tentatively ask, "can I hug you?" and for the second time in as many minutes she surprises me when she nods.

I don't hesitate in stepping towards her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders as hers take their place around my waist.

"Thank you Tris, I promise I won't let you down" I whisper and she squeezes her hold on me and replies, "you better not" with a serious, yet playful tone.

"I told you they'd totally get in oooonnn." Christina. From my position I can't see them but I can hear their muffled voices trying to quiet her and push her back inside, much to her disliking by the sounds of it.

I can hear Tris stifle a laugh and I follow suit but as soon as I feel as though we have both relaxed she takes a quick step back and looks at me sternly whilst I simply stand frozen in place.

"She needs a bath before bed, it's already getting late so no messing around otherwise she will be super grouchy tomorrow," I relax my shoulders slightly as I realise what is happening.

"She won't sleep unless she has the zebra you gave her so be sure she has it, she usually sleeps through the night but it is unfamiliar so she may have trouble sleeping." She is speaking so fast that I'm concerned she hasn't even had chance to take a breath.

"Be sure to check her diaper and she could be hungry so don't put her to bed without seeing if she is-"

"Tris" I try to interrupt but she simply puts her hand up to signal she isn't finished.

"She will scream and cry if you leave her too long unnoticed in the morning, and make sure you watch her because she can get into trouble in no time at all."

I can see her trying to assess if she has mentioned everything but the lull allows me to move closer to her again and before she has a chance to open her mouth I silence her with my finger on her lips. "I've got it Tris, and if I need anything at all you will be the first to know," I try and reassure her the best I can.

Once I feel she is as content as she can be in this situation I try and lighten the mood, "well I best get getting so we don't have a hungry, smelly, grouchy daughter tomorrow." I flash her a grin but she simply raises her eyebrows at me warningly but I do manage to see a glint of humour in her eyes.

We decide to make our way inside and I try to ignore the curious looks from everyone on the way as my only concern is getting Ruby to my place. However before we reach the room Tris stops my movements when she places her hand on my chest, and like previous times when we've made contact I can't ignore the sensation that runs through me at her touch, and that's even above clothes.

"Let me get her ready and say good night and I'll meet you out front, okay?" I simply nod and make my way to Zeke in order to ask if I can borrow his car.

After a rather short and to the point conversation, on my behalf, with Zeke I find myself watching as Tris buckles Ruby into her car seat, which she got from her car, and once again says her goodbyes.

"You're going to stay with your daddy so you be a good little girl for him and I'll see you tomorrow," I overhear her coo to Ruby. After a few more kisses she turns to face me and immediately I see tears falling down her face and I yearn to wipe them away for her but she beats me to it.

"Promise me if anything happens you will let me know" she pleads and with no hesitation I respond,

"Tris nothing will happen, but I promise."

I'm not quite as lucky as Ruby as I don't get a multitude of kisses or hugs goodbye but I do get another brief reminder of my duties before she quickly kisses my cheek and with a final glance at Ruby she makes her way inside.

….

I thankfully managed to get Ruby inside my apartment with no trouble, but my drive here was filled with nervousness and anxiety as the realisation of being solely responsible of an almost two year old for an entire night finally started to sink in. I couldn't help the self-doubt which crept in and I was beginning to wonder if I could in fact do everything Tris told me I needed to. With constant glances in the rear view mirror I was able to see Ruby contently sitting in her seat and it did manage to slightly ease some of my worries.

It is now just past eight o'clock but with the week and night I have just had it feels considerably later. I do text Tris, as promised, to let her know that we are both safely at my place. I receive an instant reply which makes me laugh quietly as I can clearly picture her staring intently at her phone waiting for me to message her. I look down at Ruby who is still stood exactly where I placed her moments earlier with her zebra tightly held around its neck and her eyes firmly set on me.

I crouch down to her level, "mummy is a worry wart, huh…I don't have to worry do I?" I ask her as though she will reply in a complete sentence but all I get is "mama" and a cheeky little smile.

I do manage to tick one task of the list which was to see if she was hungry and she was, but looking at her now I'm not sure how much food she actually ended up consuming as a lot of it is spread across her face and on her clothes. Tris failed to mention she is overly independent and refuses all attempted assistance in the food consumption area so I could only stand idle as I watched her smash pasta sauce all over herself. In hindsight the choice of food probably wasn't the best but at least it was before I gave her a bath.

I take her out of her booster seat and hold her slightly away from me as I rush towards the bathroom and she seems to find this situation funny as she giggles all the way there. As I move towards the bath she seems to be aware of what is coming next as she continually yells "baf, baf" whilst bouncing around in my arms. Her excitement is contagious as I start joining her chant, much to her amusement.

I hold her a bit closer whilst I prepare her bath and as I wait for the water to fill it up I send a few photos onto Tris of our daughter's impeccable table manners to which she sheepishly replies, 'sorry, that bit slipped my mind'.

Once the bath is filled and at the right temperature I slowly lower Ruby into it and immediately she starts slapping at the water and I hold my hands up to my face to shield myself from her splashing. She laughs uncontrollably as I realise my t-shirt is now drenched and the floor is soaking wet. "Crap" I mutter quietly, or at least I thought I did until Ruby repeats it getting progressively louder each time "cwap, cwap, cwap." I instantly freeze and grimace as I realise she did in fact copy me and when I look back at her she has a devilish yet adorable smile on her face which is impossible not to forgive. She has me firmly wrapped around her little finger and in my eyes I don't think she could do any wrong, but I just hope she doesn't repeat that word around Tris.

As I am already drenched and I can clearly see how much fun she is having I decide there is no harm in letting her spend a little longer in the bath. We splash around, her in the tub and I still on the floor, and I make her a number of soap beards which she then tries to return the favour with little success. "You're a little water baby huh, and a very cute one at that" I say to her as I tap her nose.

After a little while longer I sense she has had enough so I pick her up and place her on the floor and I turn to grab her towel and wrap it around her only to see that she is no longer there. My heart skips a beat as I spin around frantically trying to see if she is simply hiding from me. I can't see her anywhere only a trail of water, upon closer inspection, leading out into the rest of the apartment. I quickly make my way out of the bathroom, towel in hand, to search for her and turns out it isn't so hard to track her down as she leaves water in her wake leading directly to the back of the couch.

"Ruuuuby" I call out and almost immediately I hear a small snigger from exactly where I thought she was.

Well she clearly thinks this is a game so I decide to go along with it in the hope of amusing her. I walk over to the kitchen and call out her name again to hear yet another giggle and I do this several times throughout the apartment, each time getting closer to where I know she is. I quietly creep towards the couch and peek behind it to see her sat on the floor with her hands in her mouth, I assume it is so she keeps quiet but it's not really working and that makes her all the more adorable.

"Got ya" I say and her head instantly snaps in my direction in surprise before she gets up and starts running directly at me which allows me to wrap her in the towel and scoop her into my arms. She is in a fit of laughter so I tickle her and tell her in a light hearted tone, "don't run away from me otherwise the tickle monster will get you."

Once she finally starts to calm down I manage to dry her off and get her into her pyjamas before I sit down in the chair I have in her room and hold her close to my chest. I talk soothingly to her in the hope of lulling her to sleep and I desperately hope that is soon because my eyes are starting to get heavy with exhaustion.

She takes longer than I had hoped for her to settle but now I can feel her starting to drift off as her hold on me becomes loose so I slowly stand up and gently place her in her crib and tuck her in. I can't bear to leave her just yet so I rest my arms over the crib and smile lovingly at her. I still find it hard to believe she is a part of me, my world was so small before I knew of her existence and now it feels a whole lot bigger.

With each rise and fall of her chest I remind myself how lucky I am that this beautiful and cheeky little girl calls me her daddy. The thought causes my heart to swell and I can't help but send Tris another text with accompanied by yet another picture.

 **Me:** Our sleeping angel, well angel now that she is finally asleep…

 **Tris:** Told you she can be a little terror, thank you for the pic. Beautiful as always, give her a kiss from me.

 **Me:** I would say I am more handsome than beautiful...I will, good night Tris

 **Tris:** Good night Tobias x

 _An x on the end must be a good thing right? Shit, should I have put one too?_

I find I am always agonising over every little interaction with Tris and this only adds to the long list I seem to be creating. I was genuinely sorry to hear her and Uriah had broken up, but knowing she still didn't want anything to happen between us was understandable but I feel confused as ever as to what is next between us. "You're mummy is confusing" I tell Ruby, "I hope we can be something again but I don't know if…I…just don't know Ruby. I love her, but is that enough for her?"

I know I am purely voicing my thoughts aloud as Ruby is consumed by sleep but these thoughts are weighing heavily on me and I guess I needed to voice them a loud.

With a final kiss on the top of her head and assuring the baby monitor is on and the zebra is closely by her side I make my way to my room. I leave the door ajar, strip myself out of my clothes and replace them with sweat pants. I collapse on my bed in pure exhaustion with my phone in one hand and the baby monitor in the other, both readily available contact lines to the most important women in my life.

 **Hope you liked this more subtle and relaxed chapter. I enjoyed writing Tobias with Ruby as he struggles with his own confidence in looking after her but he fails to realise how natural it actually does come to him. Once again I absolutely love all your thoughts and feedback and I just want to say thank you for each review, favourite and follow as it really does motivate me.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 – Tobias**

I'm suddenly awoken by an almighty squeal and immediately I scramble to my feet in complete confusion until I realise it's Ruby and without hesitation I rush to her room. I am cursing myself as I make my way to her as Tris specifically told me that she will scream and cry if she is left too long unnoticed and I know I've let her down. I didn't think I'd have to worry about it because, despite my complete exhaustion, I rarely sleep for long these days as I'm still plagued by nightmares and I was aware of the fact she was here so I was conscious of remaining alert.

When I make my way into her room what I see completely surprises me. Ruby is no longer in her crib but sat on the ground playing with some of the toys I bought her and I conclude that I must have misinterpreted her scream as one for immediate attention as I see no tears or signs of pain. I can't help but look quizzically from her to the crib numerous times as I can't imagine how she managed to get out unscathed.

"Dada" she beams at me which snaps me out of my confusion momentarily as I focus on her as she wraps her arms around one of my legs.

I swing her up onto my hip and stare at her in disbelief, "now how did you get out of there" I ask whilst pointing towards her crib. I know it isn't as high as the one Tris has but it is still no easy feat and the fact she doesn't seem fazed or even guilty makes me question if this is the first time, but surely Tris would have said something.

"Okay well whilst you were being miss independent couldn't you have managed to change your diaper as well?" I teasingly question her but she simply nuzzles into my chest. I would love to savour this moment but the diaper issue seems to be urgent if the smell is anything to go by.

After countless wet wipes and breaks to step aside to gasp some fresh air I finally managed to conquer the task of getting her cleaned up. Just as I am about to lift her off the changing table I became aware of the fact it is time for breakfast as our stomachs seemed to have rumbled almost simultaneously and it makes me chuckle slightly and Ruby follows suit.

I noticed that I have been smiling a lot recently and it is mostly down to Ruby as she somehow manages to make me forget about everything else life is throwing at me. As she is unable to speak in full sentences or comprehend everything which is occurring around her I feel as though she is an oasis which I can seek refuge. She is too young to be fazed by others opinions and she won't judge me based on past actions only what I do in the present, and for me there is no greater happiness.

I pat her stomach and tell her "daddy is going to make you breakfast," "but one which hopefully isn't as messy as last night" I quietly mutter to myself.

I place her on her booster seat and place her in the kitchen so she can still see me, and more importantly so I can see her.

After a little deliberation I decide scrambled eggs and toast and some banana will be a substantial meal for the both of us. I hold the ingredients up to her and ask "what do you think Ruby?" and I assume she doesn't exactly know what they will turn out to be but she smiles and nods anyway, so that must be a good sign.

I'm not the greatest cook, even with the simplest of meals so I I'm not sure how this will turn out but once the toast is finished and the banana is cut up and the eggs appear to be scrambled I move Ruby back to the table. As I start bringing in the food she seems pleased as she rubs her tummy with an "mmmmmm" noise and I can't help but laugh. I serve up her portion and just like last night she refuses any help so in order to maintain my appetite I refrain from looking over at her too much.

"Is it good Ruby" I ask hopefully and I turn too prematurely as I see her stuffing some banana in her mouth and she then flashes me a big smile full of banana and I can't help but scrunch my face up.

I'm just finishing up when a piece of banana is flung in my direction directly onto my shirt and I turn instantly towards Ruby who has a devilish smile tugging on her lips. I shake my head at her with a mixture of humour and anger but despite knowing I should chastise her I can't find it within myself to do so.

I don't find the smell of bananas all too appealing so now I have to take off my t-shirt despite the fact I only just put it on prior to making breakfast, and just as I take it off I hear a knock on the door.

 **Tris POV**

The door swings open and I don't think I could deny it if I were told my jaw was completely slack due to the sight before me.

"Tris" he says slightly surprised and all I can process is that he is standing against the door frame shirtless with ruffled hair which makes my stomach flip and he looks at me with a raised brow, and suddenly I am finding it hard to formulate any words.

He seems to notice my eyes travelling up and down his sculpted torso as he becomes flustered almost immediately and I can't help but smile shyly at him as he still seems to have remained uncomfortable with exposing himself.

"Hey" I say after finally managing to find my voice and as I say it Tobias seems to become alert and shakes his head, "sorry, come in" he says rather apologetically.

I walk through the door and immediately I see Ruby at the table struggling to get out of her chair "mama mama" she repeats insistently getting increasingly impatient with every second. Before she breaks out into a puddle of tears I make my way towards her. "Hey baby girl" I say whilst I unbuckle her from the booster seat and take her into my arms. I squeeze her tightly and inundate her with kisses and I feel instantly comforted with her in my arms again.

Last night was harder than I had imagined it would be. On one hand it was nice to have the house to myself but on the other I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wasn't necessarily worried about Ruby because I knew Tobias would look after her but the need to call him and ask how she was, was borderline crazy. I was extremely grateful for his text messages as they always seemed to arrive just when I needed them.

I'm broken out of my thoughts when I hear the floorboards creak and turn to see Tobias stood only a few feet away from us but I notice he has put on a t-shirt and I can't deny the disappointment that flows through me. He smiles knowingly at me and once again it is my turn to become flustered under his gaze, something which is becoming a regular feature of mine anytime we are in close proximity.

"Sorry I'm here so early, I've been up for a while and I didn't realise how early it actually was till I was here and I did want-"

"Tris" he interrupts my rambling with a sense of humour. "It's okay. I kind of assumed you'd be here pretty early and I'm sorry about my ummm…you know" he gestures towards his chest, "yeah...it's just our little girl decided I'd look better with a bit of banana on my t-shirt."

I can't help but giggle as I picture Ruby throwing food at him and his distasteful frown which must have followed involuntarily. I tickle Ruby a little as she is still in my arms, "did you throw food at your daddy, young girl" I say teasingly. As I continue to tickle her she starts wiggling out of my grasp so I have to put her on the floor before she falls and she runs to what I assume is her room, which leaves Tobias and I alone.

"I uh…I hope she wasn't too much trouble" I say in order to prevent any uncomfortable silence.

"No, no trouble at all…" he replies rather unconvincingly. I give him a disbelieving look and he smiles at me sheepishly. "Okay…so she was a handful at times, but nothing I couldn't deal with."

I can sense him being a little defensive and I don't want him to think I'm pressing him for information so I can use it against him, "Tobias I'm not asking because I want an excuse to not let her stay over again, I'm just…curious to see if she is just as much of a handful as she usually is" I say with a shrug of my shoulders.

He seems to be analysing my words for any deception and once he feels at ease he begins to tell me about her food fiasco which I had already received a text about and her quick dash from the bathroom in which she attempted to hide but the puddles of water and her inability to be quiet didn't make it hard to find her. I couldn't stop laughing when he told me that as ever since she has learned to walk she can be gone in a flash but this is the first time after a bath.

"But she went to sleep quickly without much fuss all night..." I am quite surprised to hear that as he looks visibly shattered but I can tell something else happened as he is rubbing the back of his neck, which he usually only does when he is nervous or uncomfortable.

"Anything else happen?" I ask encouragingly but he shakes his head and I can only hope that he feels comfortable enough to tell me at some point. I'm sure it won't be a big issue but he may have over thought it and perhaps presumes that I will react adversely. We remain in silence for a while before he speaks up, "thank you Tris."

"For what?" I question in confusion.

"For letting Ruby stay over…it means a lot to me and I'm glad you trusted me enough to say yes."

"You don't need to thank me. She is your daughter too and I'm sorry if I made it seem as though I didn't trust you enough to look after her…it's just it was a bit overwhelming and I was reluctant to let her go when I've had her all to myself for all this time," I tell him in complete honesty.

Despite last night being one of the longest I have endured it did give me a lot of time to think. I came to realise that I was misdirecting my own insecurities about Ruby preferring Tobias' attention over mine, onto him. I made him believe I didn't trust him to look after her and at the time I failed to realise that and only on reflection did I realise how hurtful that must have been.

"I really am sorry about that. I couldn't have asked for a better dad for Ruby and I know we both wish things were different and that you'd be here from the start, but you're here now and I realise that is all that matters."

He smiles fondly at me and I know that is exactly what he needed to hear.

I hear him clear his throat, "thanks…that means a lot" he says with his voice wavering ever so slightly, "I've probably told you this before but you've done an incredible job with her Tris and I couldn't be any luckier to have her...and you in my life."

We are both getting emotional and I really appreciate him opening up to me because the more we talk openly the closer I feel to him and I try communicate that to him as we stare into each other's eyes. Just as the need to be closer to him increases his phone starts ringing and he looks to me for approval to answer it and I nod insistently and when he answers the phone he says hello quite audibly but suddenly he turns slightly and lowers his voice and I can vaguely hear him say, "Hi Nita." _Why is he being guarded and who is Nita?_

 **I'm not really feeling this chapter but it was another sort of relaxed chapter with them and Ruby which I hope turned out better than I think and that you all liked it. I'm going to Paris this weekend, which I am super excited for, so I am hoping I can get an update out before then but if not I will see you next week!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 – Tobias**

I felt as though Tris and I were finally opening up a little more to each other, with exception of me withholding the fact that Ruby climbed out of her crib purely because I thought it was a story for another time, when my phone rang. I didn't want to answer it but I remembered that work told me I could be getting a call over the weekend so I asked for Tris' approval and from her firm nod I concluded she was alright with it.

When I picked up the phone I had no idea who would be on the other end but as soon as I heard her unmistakable high pitch voice say "well, well I'll be damned if it isn't Four…or should I say Tobias now," I knew it was Nita. I had no idea how she got my number or how she knew my real name, but I didn't want Tris to see what I'm sure would have been an agitated expression so I turned around before she could see, or hear me.

As soon as I had said her name she began telling me how she knew I wouldn't forget her and I had to consciously withhold the desire to tell her that I really wish I could. At this point I was still in the dark as to why she is calling me and I can only imagine what Tris must be thinking.

"What do you want Nita?" I questioned quietly with obvious irritation.

"Well that's no way to talk to your new supervisor Tobias" she replied casually, and I was instantly speechless. The line went silent as I processed her previous words.

"Cat got your tongue?" she questioned and my mouth made movements without any words produced as I was still stuck on the revelation of her working in the same company as me, let alone being my supervisor.

"Well I'm calling because we need to conduct an assessment of your thoughts of the company as a new employee and we will also discuss my assessment and requirements of you as well…that is if you are free" she adds almost challengingly. I nod almost robotically before I realise she can't see me so I clear my throat and manage to stumble out, "okay…ummm that sounds…yeah I'm free now."

Once I start processing what is happening I realise that this call will be longer than I had planned or wanted it to be, especially when it was her on the other side of the phone. I sighed in frustration before I composed myself so Tris wouldn't be worried, but as I turned back to her I quickly realised she no longer wore a relaxed expression but one which I couldn't quite put my finger on, but it appeared to be a mixture of confusion, anger… _and jealousy?_.

I look at her questioningly before I hear the nagging voice that is Nita in my ear so I tell her to give me a moment. I hold the bottom of the phone where the speaker is so she can't hear me and tell Tris, "I'm sorry but this might-"

"No don't worry about it, I get it. I'll get Ruby and go" she interrupts forcefully. I have no idea why she has had such a drastic mood change, but before I can even think about asking her she has walked off, or rather stormed off, in the direction of Ruby.

I'm frozen in place momentarily as I try and piece together what just happened but once again I am brought to by the insistent voice through the phone. I know Nita will drag this out as much as she possibly can so I decide to take residence on the couch so I can at least try and be comfortable for its entirety.

I try and answer as best I can to the questions she is asking but I throw my head back onto the top of the couch in impatience at the completely irrelevant questions she is asking about my private life and I can't help but let out a long drawn out sigh in annoyance.

I start hearing voices which don't belong to Nita but when I cast my eyes in the direction of the sound I see Ruby being held on Tris' hip with her stuff on all packed up on Tris' other shoulder. I try and convey my desire for her to stay but all I receive in return is a deep scowl and tightly pursed lips, and in my experience that combination doesn't bode well for me and all I can do is watch as Tris rushes out of my apartment without another word and just as my door is about to slam shut I can clearly hear Ruby pleadingly call out "dada dada," and it tears my heart in half.

"Tobias, Tobias" she screeches down the phone.

"It's Four, my name is Four!" I snap back with venom.

"Well that is no way to speak to your supervisor. You do know you are still on probation and any wrong move can cost you your job" she retorts. I'm becoming increasingly less patient as time moves on but as much as I hate to admit it I need to remain clam because she is in the control seat and I can't afford to lose my job.

After what felt like an eternity, which was most likely just under an hour, of questioning about what I thought of my job and how I thought I was doing, to her evaluation of my performance thus far I finally managed to get off the phone with her. It was instant pleasure when the line was cut but her parting words didn't fill me with any joy as she made sure to let me know she'd see me bright and early on Monday, and most likely every other morning too.

I thought I'd been through enough shit for a lifetime only for this situation to throw itself at me when I finally felt as though my life was starting to get back on track. I can feel myself losing control over my emotions as I didn't think I'd ever have to see Nita again but now I know it is inevitable.

Nita came into my life when I was in a bad place. It was before I met Tris and before I moved in with the Pedrad's. I was only 17 and on a downward spiral and she was simply there when no one else was. With Marcus still doing what he had always done to me I was desperate to feel any sort of affection and she provided just that. It was an on and off 'relationship' for a few years and I don't look back at it with any fondness and I regret some of my actions, most of them if I am being honest with myself. I hadn't anticipated how long she would actually stick around and I tried as nicely as I could to let her know I know longer wanted to see her, but kindness has always been hard for me.

When I first met Tris at a Pedrad's family dinner I hadn't been in contact with Nita for a few months but she always managed to find me and make my life difficult, and this time is no different. She knew me only as Four, the name Zeke gave me after I skipped the first four classes every day for the first four weeks at school, which he thought was because I was rebelling but in actual fact it is because I couldn't physically move after Marcus' beatings to get to school on time.

The name gave me an alter ego which could shield me from anyone trying to look too deep but it also made me more confident in myself as I wasn't weak Tobias I was mysterious Four. I was only known as Four to her so when she called me Tobias I felt exposed and the only person I want to feel that way towards is Tris.

Tris does know little bits about her but as I never referred to her as Nita she wouldn't connect the dots and realise the person I was on the phone with and the one person I told her I had been with prior to her, are in fact the same person.

Being in this frame of mind only opens up my mind to everything negative and now in the stillness of the apartment I am afforded the silence to think and replay how ashamed I am of my past with Nita, the way Tris left and how Ruby cried desperately for me. I try to take deep breaths and transport my mind elsewhere but as I close my eyes I am met with a clear image of how Tris looked at me and once I finally open my eyes I realise there is a large gaping hole in the wall and searing pain which radiates through my right fist. _Great, this is just what I need._

 **Tris POV**

I had rushed out of Tobias' apartment as fast as I could as I couldn't bear witness to him openly chatting up a girl on the phone in front of me. At first I was curious as to who Nita was but once he started asking her what she wants in suggestive guttural tone that was it. I rushed towards what I assumed was Ruby's room and if I was in a better head space I would have stood and admired it as he had done a wonderful job of combining a rainbow of colours and her love of animals.

I felt as though I was on auto-pilot as I weaved in and out of streets with home as my destination but as the car came to halt I came to the realisation I wasn't at home, but at Christina's.

My subconscious is obviously telling me I need her right now despite the fact it is still quite early and from the way I left her last night she is sure to have a hangover.

I take Ruby out of the car seat, which I recouped from Zeke's car after I stole the keys from Tobias this morning, and stride towards her ground level flat. I knock rather loudly as I know she is a deep sleeper but after quite a while of receiving no response I am about to give up. I groan aloud as I really needed someone to bounce my thoughts off of and when I realise she won't answer I turn and walk back towards my car.

"Cwissy Cwissy" Ruby shouts rather loudly directly into my ear and I tell her, "Chrissy isn't here Ruby" but she continues to shout her name and attempts to wriggle out of my grasp and that is when I hear someone shout my name. I whip around and see a dishevelled looking Christina wave at me from just outside her front door.

"Thank god" I mumble to myself.

….

"So you're telling me he just stood there in front of you talking up a girl on the phone?!" Christina exclaimed and all I could do was nod sadly and mutter "sounded like it."

"He really is a tool" she adds and I can't really argue with that proclamation right now. She isn't as hungover as I had thought which I am extremely thankful for otherwise she could have already been in the car ready to take Tobias down with zero forethought, _which maybe isn't such a bad decision._

"You still look like you need to unload so tell me what else happened Tris." I know she could see how it was tearing me up but I know she was pressing for information so she could most likely use it against him later.

 _Where do I even start?_

I take a deep breath, "well he basically asked her what she wanted suggestively and she must have said something pretty flirtatious because he was making movements with his mouth like a fish, obviously speechless at whatever she suggested. He seemed flustered and when he finally got his voice working he was stumbling with his words. He said something along the lines of that sounds good and I'm free now, that is when I started to put two and two together and I knew I couldn't stay there any longer."

Christina simply stared at me in shock with a sympathetic look and seeing her reaction confirmed that this was as bad as I had thought.

I stared down at my hands, which were clasped tightly together in my lap, and started thinking how we had almost kissed yet he obviously had another girl on the side. I can't believe I have been such a fool, I knew I wouldn't be enough for him.

"You know he didn't even make any effort to hide it from me. Once I got Ruby I went back into the living area and he was, let's just say starting to enjoy himself with whatever she was saying over the phone. I couldn't believe it so I just left and he looked at me as though my reaction wasn't justified and he had done nothing wrong!" I was fuming now and I hadn't realised I was digging my nails into my palms until Christina drew them apart and I saw small amounts of blood seep out of the half-moon shaped marks.

Christina grabbed tissues from the side table and pressed them into my hands gently to soak up some of the blood. "Tris it's okay to feel angry and betrayed but don't you dare put this back on yourself. He is the loser in this and you deserve ten times better than a Greek god with zero respect for you." I laugh slightly at her attempt to lighten the mood with her admission of his appearance being similar to a Greek god, and I can't disagree with her assessment.

I look over at Ruby playing quietly on the floor in the hope she will brighten my mood as usual but all I see is Tobias reflected back and it is hard not to be reminded of everything he has put me through.

"Tris your phone is buzzing non stop" Christina's voice breaks me out of my thoughts as she pushes my phone in my direction. I take one look down at the screen and see three missed calls and five unread messages from Tobias, "Four?" Christina questions and I just nod. "Well can't say he isn't persistent"

"Yeah" I grumble whilst I toss up whether or not to read his messages.

Christina eventually talks me into at least seeing what he has to say for himself so I hesitantly open up the messages.

 **Tobias:** Hey, what happened? Why did you leave in such a rush?

 **Tobias:** If I somehow did something wrong…I'm sorry

 _If he did something wrong? Why can't he just be honest with me!_

 **Tobias:** Tris please answer my calls I'm starting to get worried.

 **Tobias:** I just want to know if you and Ruby are alright. Where are you, I'm going to your place if you don't answer soon.

 **Tobias:** I've lost the car keys but I'm still coming over if you don't reply. Please call me or text, anything.

He either is playing the innocent card really well or he has no regard for what happened and that only makes me angrier. Knowing Tobias he will sit outside my front door for as long as it takes so in order to keep him away I have to reply.

 **Me:** We are fine. Hope your call was worth it.

 **Yes managed to get another chapter up before I left, hope you enjoyed it! I just want to say a missive thank you for all the reviews thus far, I never expected this many and I would love to continue to hear your thoughts and opinions. See you next week**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 – Tobias**

"Has anyone let Tris know?" I hear what I assume is Zeke insistently ask aloud, and after a few moments of silence I can vaguely hear him cry out in what I assume is the response to whatever the answer was.

For some reason I'm finding it hard to concentrate and my head pounds as I strain to hear anything else but all I can make out is multiple irate voices all battling to be heard, but the constant question swirling in my mind is why Zeke seemed desperate and what does Tris need to know?

I'm pretty sure I'm the one who needs to know what has happened because Tris stormed out of my apartment and her response to my text messages only left me even more confused. She hoped my call was worth it but, although Nita was on the other end, it was for my work and I don't see why she got so irate. Admittedly I could have handled it better as in hindsight it did appear as though I brushed her aside but my mind was frazzled at the voice I had just heard.

"Four" I hear Zeke say suddenly from beside me.

"Zeke" I respond straightaway.

"Dude talk to me please…squeeze my hand…open your eyes..anything," _I don't know why he is asking me to talk or squeeze his hand because I just answered him back._

"Please be okay…please please please" he repeats to himself and he sounds worried but I don't why or who needs to be okay because I know I'm fine.

Once he falls into silence I notice a persistent beeping noise which feels as though it is getting louder with every second that passes. As the noise becomes increasingly more annoying I make the decision to find it and rip it out of its power source as it is only exacerbating the headache I already have. However as I attempt to get up I find that my body isn't reacting and it's as though I am under the weight of a hundred bricks and I can't move despite how hard I try.

I soon realise that all I can see is black and I still can't move or open my eyes, and I instantly start to panic. I don't know how I didn't realise earlier but the beeping noise seems to react to my anxiety as it reaches a whole new level of intolerance and through the noise I manage to make out the sound of numerous feet rushing towards me whilst Zeke starts asking what is happening. He begins to protest as I assume they are ushering him away but I desperately want the answer to his question. _What happened to me?_

….

After being poked and prodded for an unnerving amount of time I am still as clueless as to what is wrong with me despite pleading, apparently inaudibly, for an answer or any clues. I rack my brain trying to remember anything which could leave me in this condition but everything is a blur from the moment I received the text from Tris.

Hushed whispers eventually break the silence but the audible gasps only increase my distress and subsequently the beeping noise increases in volume.

"Please try and keep quiet, it is vital we keep his heart rate as low as possible so I suggest only two people at a time" an unfamiliar but friendly voice says.

The clarity of the voices and noises around me are a stark contrast to the haze that is clouding my mind and effecting my ability to process everything. I realise now that the infuriating noise must be a heart rate monitor as each time I panic it becomes louder, just like it is now.

"Why is his heart rate so high?" I hear Zeke ask.

"He lost a lot of blood so his body is compensating by pumping blood around the body at a faster rate but he may also be semi-aware of his surroundings and is in distress, so if it continues for much longer we may have to give him something so his body can rest" the friendly voice replies.

My mind chooses to focus on the fact she said I have lost a lot of blood and I am instantly alarmed as my mind begins to conjure up numerous scenarios which could have landed me here. I know I must be in a bad way and all I can think about is Ruby and Tris and if I will ever see their beautiful faces again.

"I'm going to have to give him a mild sedative now" _no please don't, I'll calm down_

I can vaguely hear her starting to prepare whatever she is about to give me when Zeke asks,

"Is he going to be okay?"

"His injuries are quite extensive, his body needs time to heal but he was in a bad car accident so the next 24 hours are critical..." I feel the effects of whatever she has given me instantly as I start to lose all awareness but as I start to drift off I can only focus on the fact that she said I was in a bad car accident and I'm in a critical condition, and then it all goes blank.

 **Tris POV**

Guilt is often the source of many of our sorrows and it follows us everywhere we go, providing reminders where we least expect them but supplying the same amount of despair each and every time.

Today is one of those days where it has crept up on me unknowingly, stinging me where it really matters and that's why I find myself at the foot of my parents grave despairing at the fact I had forgotten the third anniversary of their passing.

I've been too focused on myself that I forgot about the significance of today and now my issues with Tobias are firmly at the back of my mind as I grieve for my parents all over again.

I had spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon with Christina trying to piece together what his call meant and what the impact would be for his relationship with Ruby and I. As I didn't receive a response to my last text I assumed he either relented or was in fact sat outside of my house. I wasn't prepared to take the chance of him being there so I went to a park which mum, dad, Caleb and I often frequented when I was younger and the stimulation of such childhood memories brought me to the realisation of today's date and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I know they both will have never wanted either Caleb or I to stop our lives to grieve for them because they never would have wanted the attention and they definitely would remind me that guilt is a tool to teach us to do better next time, not a weapon to use against oneself. However, I can't help but wallow in my own sadness of their passing and how I was so easily able to let this day slip by without a second thought to its significance.

I'm beyond thankful that Ruby is asleep in her stroller beside me as the peace is welcomed but her presence does provide great strength to my crumbling mental state.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner and I…I didn't mean to forget but so much has been happening but I know it isn't an excuse. I love you both and I really wish you were here to hug and talk to and be the best grandparents I know you would have been for Ruby" I whisper aloud in the direction of their joint headstone.

"I miss you both like crazy and there has never been a time when I need your advice more. Tobias has finally come back and I'm so happy Ruby has her dad and he is so good with her but…I don't know about us. Mum I know you always use to tell me we were destined to be together but right now I feel we are far from that. Every time I think we can try and work things out another obstacle appears, and even though I don't think I have ever stopped loving him I just don't know if I can experience any more heart break."

I'm just about to continue on with my ramblings for my own selfish release, another disappointment for my parents who taught me selflessness above all else, when my phone alerts me to an incoming call. I'm hesitant to check who it is as I have already let too many things distract me from what today is but I let it ring out and tentatively reach for it when, for the second time today, I look down at my phone and see I have missed numerous calls and text messages but this time they are from most of my friends, not Tobias.

I never receive this many messages from my friends at once and as I look at the time I see it is far later than I had thought and the time stamps on their messages date back from a few minutes to a few hours, meaning I must have been here for much longer than I had thought. I'm extremely confused as to why they would all be contacting me, unless they realise what today is for me but I doubt they'd remember since even I didn't.

As I make my way through the messages I become all too aware of the recurring theme and it makes me slightly concerned as they're short and to the point messages which urgently ask where I am and for me to get in touch as quickly as possible.

I assume it's due to my long unplanned absence, but that still is unusual for them all to be that concerned and for some reason I feel my stomach drop as a sense of trepidation washes over me.

I realise Christina is the last one to have called me so I waste no time in contacting her and I don't think her phone would have even rung aloud she picked up that fast.

"Tris" Christina cries out with a sense of relief.

"What's wron-" I don't even get to reply before she interjects,

"It's…there's…an accident and he's in a bad way" she stumbles her words and I am taken a back as I try and put her words together and let them sink in.

"Who?" I manage to say through the tightness of my throat only to be met with silence. "Oh God was it Will?" I ask hesitantly and I can hear her trying to formulate words but with no success.

"Christina!" I shout desperately down the phone in the hope of breaking her out of her daze, "what happened!"

"No…no" she says solemnly, "it's..it's Four" she says so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

"Wha…what?" I ask stunned and in a state of shock, "how?" I add on the verge of tears.

"It was a car accident" I can't control the anguished gasp which escapes from within me and I'm thankful I'm already sat on the ground as I doubt I would have been able to stay standing. My mind is in an utter jumble, exponentially more so than what it was only a matter of moments ago.

My mouth opens and closes as I struggle to say anything in response and suddenly the voice I hear is no longer Christina's but Zeke's and from my shock I can only just manage to comprehend that he is asking where I am and my sub-conscious must have answered for me because I then hear him say, "don't move I'm on my way."

I don't think I could move even if I wanted to as I am crippled by shock and I can't say how long has passed, but what feels like only a few minutes Iater I am being hauled off the ground by a pair of strong arms, which I assume belong to Zeke, with Ruby in tow and placed into the back of a car.

We weave in and out of traffic in silence and usually Zeke is as cool as they come but as I glance in his direction I can tell he is trying to hold it together. His grip is firm on the steering wheel making his knuckles go a shade lighter and his jaw clenched tightly as he tries to hold back his sniffles, and I know now that this is the confirmation of how bad Tobias's condition must be.

We arrive at the hospital in no time at all and I'm on auto-pilot as Zeke leads me through the hospital hallways with an inconsolable Ruby in my arms and as we round the next corner I am met with the anguished expressions of Christina, Will, Shauna and Uriah. Just seeing them all here brings me harshly back to reality and seemingly without my knowledge Shauna has pried a distraught Ruby out of my arms and leads me over to what I assume is the waiting area. I try to communicate to her and sensing my need for an update she tells me the last thing they were told is that he is in critical condition and will require surgery when he is deemed stable enough and that is a sufficient amount of information to keep me on edge.

As I follow her lead all I can think is I can't lose him, Ruby can't lose him and I can't have him leave me with our last encounter being what it was. The grief and guilt will cripple me and I know it is selfish to think that way but, it is in this moment I realise how much I _need_ him, _want_ him, and _love_ him and all I can do is slide down the wall with my head in my hands repeating time after time, "you can't leave me again, please please don't leave me…please be okay."

 **Ok, wow, so that just happened. Sorry it took me a little longer to write this but would love to know your thoughts and feelings!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 – Tris**

It's as though I am living in a horror movie with no ability to wake up and I can't foresee an end in sight as seconds turn into minutes and minutes into hours, which seem to drag on for days.

I soon realise that it is now the early hours of the next morning and with Christina and Will taking Ruby back home and Uriah having to leave as he needs to work it is only Zeke, Shauna and I who remain. Silence consumes us and I don't and can't move in fear of anything happening, much to their dismay as they continually bug me about eating something or getting some sleep. I know they're just making sure I am okay but all we should be concerned about is Tobias as his condition is a greater concern than my own.

I haven't been provided with many details as to how the accident happened or any new updates on his condition, other than them continually saying he is in a critical but stable condition. It only encourages my mind to delve into the darkest of crevices thinking of all the possible ways in which the accident unfolded and how bad his condition could be. Although the lack of updates don't provide me with any sense of calmness I suppose, as they say, that no news is good news.

That bubble is soon burst when I hear a voice beside me say "Tris" with a slight nudge to my shoulder. I quickly glance their way to see that it's Zeke whose eyes are not focused on me but the door by the waiting room where a doctor strides towards us. My heart skips a beat and a wave of nausea flows over me as he gets closer. I try and read his expression for any indication of if the news is good or bad but from what I assume is a lifetime amount of practice, his expression is simply unreadable.

I shift in my seat as the dread starts to sink in as three years ago I sat in a similar seat, albeit Tobias was by my side on that occasion, being told that both my parents didn't make it. They were killed in a car accident and the comparison between both set of circumstances is obvious, which only serves to remind me that maybe true happiness is something that I am destined not to experience again.

The doctor comes to a halt a few feet away from our seated position and without hesitation I rise from my seat and immediately Zeke is by my side holding me steady, obviously sensing my instability.

"Are you here for Mr. Eaton?" he questions and all I can do is nod as words fail to formulate but Zeke manages to supply a firm "yes" in my absence.

"I understand you are not immediate family, but as I have been made aware that he no longer has any remaining members I will make an exception as I see it fit that you fulfil the requirements." _Who is this guy?_

Tobias may not have any biological family left but I firmly believe he hasn't since he was eight when his mother passed away. We have been his family for the majority of his life and despite what has happened between us I will always consider him as family and this doctor has no right to tell me otherwise.

With what I assume is now a deeply embedded scowl on my face I look back up to meet the doctors eyes as my distaste for his opening remark is put on the backburner whilst I receive a much needed update on his condition.

"As you know Mr. Eaton was in a serious accident and he sustained a number of injuries, both internal and external. We were able to take him into surgery and successfully stop the internal bleeding," I let out a sigh of relief at that piece of news before he continues.

"He does however have numerous broken ribs and severe gashes over his entire body, and more importantly he appears to have sustained significant head trauma." I feel Zeke's grip tighten as my knees begin to buckle, "it isn't apparent how serious that is and only time will tell unfortunately."

I start to feel faint at the news as the worst case scenarios resurface in my mind and just as I am about to crumble to the ground a voice breaks the silence, "can we see him?" It's Shauna. I had almost forgotten she was here but her question does assist in momentarily steadying me as I await his answer. He seems to mull over his decision for what feels like a few minutes and I'm really starting to dislike him as he doesn't appear to have an ounce of sympathy in any of the 206 bones in his body.

"I suppose so, but I must insist on only two at a time" he replies rather sternly and I am about to mouth off at him for his lack of compassion when I feel a gentle touch on my upper back and Shauna's soothing voice directed towards me. "Tris, it's alright. You and Zeke go in and get his stubborn arse better and I will wait out here," I want to appreciate her humour but all of my concerns are directed solely towards Tobias and whether or not he will make it through this, and if he does will he have any lasting complications.

I realise I must have zoned out once again as I find myself being guided by Zeke to what I presume is Tobias's room, and my breathing quickens as a result. I feel my heart rate escalate and my palms become increasingly sweaty as I contemplate what I will be faced with when I walk into his room. As we come to a halt outside a room I turn to hold onto Zeke as I try and absorb any ounce of his strength in order to keep myself together.

"I must warn you that he has a lot of wires and tubes attached to him and that the bruises and swelling is currently at its peak but it should begin to diminish as time progresses, but everything is there to assist in his recovery" the doctor informs us as he pushes the door open and gestures us inside.

I take small tentative steps inside the room with Zeke closely by my side and I am immediately aware of all the monitors and machines which he is hooked onto by the constant beeping. My eyes are still trained towards the ground as I muster up the courage to face the reality of Tobias' condition.

Everything up until this point has felt like a dream, or more accurately a nightmare in which I have been able to, in certain moments, believe that this isn't real. However I know as soon as I see him that will all fade away and I will be left with a heavy weight on my heart and my mind as I wait for any signs of improvement.

Zeke's grip is just as tight as mine as we shuffle closer to Tobias' bedside and I realise I am not the only one feeling the weight of this situation.

I suddenly stop in the middle of the room and take a deep breath before I raise my eyes, and as quickly as I inhaled the faster it left my body as the sight of Tobias bruised and swollen with tubes and wires everywhere is of little resemblance to his usual appearance, and it has sucked the air completely out of my lungs.

"Tris…hey" Zeke says loudly attempting to break me out of my trance, "he needs us to be strong for him, he's tough he'll pull through. C'mon" he adds with renewed strength whilst gesturing towards Tobias.

My breathing becomes fast and shallow as I follow him and I feel the tears slowly slip from the corner of my eyes as the man I have always associated with being a pillar of strength is now laying helplessly in a hospital bed.

…..

"Tobias you need to wake up…Ruby needs you and all your friends do too." I look over at Zeke who is asleep on the other side of Tobias and has been for quite some time, but despite how my eyes sting and scream at me to shut them for more than a few moments, I simply can't in fear of anything happening. I doubt he can hear me but it's talking to him is helping me to stay awake and get things off my chest. "Zeke needs you, he might be too proud to tell you in words but I know you mean a lot to him and he'd be lost without you. I know you wouldn't want me to bring it up but when you were gone he…wasn't the same" I tell him whilst playing with his fingers and clutching his hand tightly. "He cares for you a lot more than he lets on…and…so do I" I add in a whisper whilst staring down at our joint hands.

The sudden sound of the door creaking open takes my gaze away from our hands to where I see a nurse, and a notably beautiful one, making her way towards Tobias. "No wonder you want to stay here a little longer if all the nurse's look like her" I try and murmur discretely.

She gives me a genuine and sympathetic smile which I assume indicates that she didn't hear me and I let out a sigh in relief, but I do feel my face starting to heat up in my own embarrassment.

"I'm sorry to interrupt I just need to check his vitals and make sure he is comfortable" she tells me, and instantly I feel a lot more at ease with him being in her care than that doctor from earlier.

I watch her closely as she moves around Zeke and fiddles with each monitor and the drips going into him for any sign of decline or improvement. "How…how is he?" I ask tentatively.

She turns her head towards me as she scribbles down some notes and without hesitation she replies, "he's stable and his vitals look good, so although there has been no noticeable decline there is only very little improvement, so he is still critical." I scrunch my eyes together at the update I keep receiving, "you should keep talking to him though" I instantly open my eyes up in shock as I didn't think I had been caught which causes her to stifle a laugh.

"Uhmm yeah I was just-" she interjects my rambling and adds,

"It's okay, it's been known that they can most likely hear us so hearing a familiar voice will only help him." I nod whilst gazing at Tobias's bruised face wondering if he had indeed heard what I said.

"I don't know everything you've been told but I do want to tell you that he is in the best possible care, and although his current condition is serious I do believe he will pull through. He has a strong heart beat and he has recovered well from surgery so we just need to hope that the swelling in his brain reduces soon so that he can wake up. I'll leave you too it if you need me or any assistance just hit the green button by the door, and don't forget to take care of yourself too."

She gives me a final smile and leaves to continue what I assume is her round of check-ups and I can't help but wish that every doctor and nurse which has come into the room was as gentle and informative as she was.

"So apparently you may be able to hear me…and I know you're not usually one for conversation but its rude not to acknowledge me you know" I add trying to lighten the mood.

With no response and the room in relative silence, or as silent as it can be with a number of devices constantly beeping, I continue to hold tightly and fiddle with his left hand as I am comforted by his pulse which remains constant and it reminds me that he is still here and where there is life, there's hope.

I cast my eyes up and look towards the window and notice the sun starting to peek through the blinds and that means that Christina is most likely going to arrive soon with Ruby in tow. I don't want Ruby to see Tobias in this condition and I know he wouldn't either, "Ruby will be here soon and she'd love it if her daddy opened those gorgeous eyes of yours…" I hang my head as my emotions suddenly start to bubble over and I feel tears fall from my eyes and land on our joined hands.

"Please don't leave us…please. You..we need more time and I can't have our last encounter be the last and I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you at times since you've come back." I take a deep breath to try and fight the tears, "I just…I didn't know how to move on from how you left but I do _need_ you and _want_ you and I do, and always have lo-"

I stop suddenly as I feel a delicate squeeze on my hand which is laced with his and I rise instantly to my feet with my heart racing at the thought of him being aware, or even waking up.

"Tobias can you hear me?"

A few moments pass where I feel the hope fade as realistically he can't possibly be awake, but then I feel another small squeeze and I feel my heart soar, "Zeke, Zeke" I shout aloud.

"I think he's waking up!"

 **Admittedly this isn't the best of chapters which is why this one took a little longer than planned, but I do want to say a massive thank you as we've reached 200 reviews! That's crazy and I appreciate it greatly as I love hearing all your thoughts and opinions**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 – Tobias**

Reality is limitless, space is infinite, and time eternal but it is that time in reality which we each have to forge our path and our journey. We have and create family, we make friends, learn invaluable lessons and create lasting memories, and for me not all of those have transpired how I planned but others have surpassed my greatest expectations.

I know I have been through a lot and it is fair to say that my life has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride but I can honestly say my greatest achievement in life only became known to me a few short months ago, and her name is Ruby. It's something I never thought I'd say as I have always feared the possibility of carrying on the Eaton genes and turning into the person I despise the most.

I was always very insistent that I would never have children, however the instant I knew she was mine I felt nothing but love and the innate desire to protect her. I suppose there was also an element of fear and trepidation which simmered within me when I found out, but it was soon replaced by pain and regret for missing out on over a year of her life.

It was her eyes which brought me to the sudden realisation she was part of me and despite them baring a resemblance to mine, which have haunted me for most of my life, I couldn't help but believe that hers feature a touch of softness which I never saw in mine, _or Marcus',_ and I knew I couldn't bear the thought of ever laying a finger on her.

I can't deny that the fear of not being good enough does lay beneath the surface but it is deep enough that I can push through it and believe I will never give her the ammunition to consider me a bad father.

Suddenly I hear a gentle, yet pleading voice reverberate in my mind which doesn't seem to belong to me but I can't quite recognise say _, 'Ruby needs you.'_

I don't quite understand the context or why this phrase stirs me but the desperate voice seems to have caught my attention and I can't help but think that she does need me but I could quite possibly need her more. She has been a beam of light amongst the dark clouds, and although she was completely unexpected I can't imagine not having her in my life, and as Tris predicted she has got me firmly wrapped around her little finger.

She is usually right about a lot of things, but one thing I wish she wasn't right about was the continuous let down I always seem to be. I know I've hurt her more times than I'd care to remember and that's why no matter how harsh she might have been towards me since I've come back I know it is her way of coping with everything I have done. She deserves to be happy with everything she has gone through but I just don't know if I am the one that can do that for her, even though I desperately wish I was.

Tris is unlike any girl I have ever met and although some may say she is nothing too extraordinary on the eye I can't help but believe she is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. I have found that eyes tell you a lot about someone as they are effectively the windows to our souls, and her eyes always curious and alive with amazement and wonder are what first drew me to her as we sat opposite one another at a Pedrad family dinner. She captivated me from the word go and ever since I have been completely and utterly under the spell of Tris Prior. That doesn't mean there haven't been ups and downs but each and every time I know I will choose her and, hopefully, she will choose me. I only hope she will give me another opportunity to prove I am worthy of her choosing.

Suddenly whilst away with my thoughts my head feels foggy and heavy with sleep yet everything is already in darkness. It's a weird feeling as I feel at peace yet my mind is reeling through countless memories, but unexpectedly through the hazy feeling I hear the voice again and this time I can feel a sense of pain. I don't know why I can so easily tap into the voice's emotions and even take them on myself but they clearly sound upset as they say, "please don't leave us…please. You…we need more time and I can't have our last encounter be the last and I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you at times since you've come back."

The words somehow resonate with me and as a flurry of events and memories reel through my mind again in only a matter of moments only one thing prevails, Tris. _Its Tris's voice, it has to be._

But why is she saying I can't leave, I'm not planning on going anywhere and she shouldn't be sorry about anything. I begin panicking as I struggle to open my eyes or even move as I'm desperate to stop whatever is making Tris feel this desperate and upset.

 _"_ _His injuries are quite extensive, his body needs time to heal but he was in a bad car accident so the next 24 hours are critical..."_

It all comes back to me, I was in a car accident and I must still be unable to move or even open my eyes and despite how peaceful I feel I need to fight to wake up, for not only myself but more importantly for Tris and Ruby.

As I will myself to wake up all of a sudden I become aware of a tight hold on my left hand and soft movement of my fingers and it seems to provide me with a hold on what's real and I am only motivated further when she tells me, "I just…I didn't know how to move on from how you left but I do _need_ you and _want_ you and I do," that is when I try with all my might to return her squeeze on my hand, "and always have lo-"

Her sudden quietness stills me as I await the verdict of if my attempt was successful, and as the seconds tick by excruciatingly slow I try and feel or hear any signs of confirmation.

"Tobias can you hear me?" she asks with audible hopefulness and I feel a weight off my shoulders at the thought of being successful and I try and confirm her question by squeezing her hand again.

"Zeke, Zeke" she shouts, "I think he's waking up!"

I feel instantly elated, or as elated as you can be laying incapacitated in hospital, at the prospect that I have made it through the 24 critical hours in which I recall overhearing from the nurse as being vital.

"Four! We need to call a nurse" Zeke shouts in a hurry, and realise I am now becoming increasingly aware of everything around me as sounds and movement become all too consuming as my hearing makes up for the lagging of my other senses.

I start to feel overwhelmed as the amount of voices increase but the only one I want to hear isn't present so no matter how many nurses or doctors try and reassure me I only want that from one particular person. With consistent beeping noises and the shuffling of people and, what I assume to be, monitors and equipment I am beginning to think this waking up business is a far greater feat than I had imagined. I get question after question, "Mr. Eaton if you can hear me squeeze my hand, Mr. Eaton can you feel this, does that hurt, and can you flex your toes?"

If that wasn't unbearable enough they decide to flash light directly into both of my eyes which I'm sure is going to cause permanent blotches, like when you look directly into the flash of a camera.

They all seem to still for a moment and I'm anxious to know why but as soon as I do they resume with the light in my eyes, but this time rather than a direct beam of light I am inundated with multiple rays and a lot of moving shadows hovering around. One of the shadows grows closer and then I hear, "welcome back Mr. Eaton" _I wished they'd stop calling me that it always reminds me of Marcus,_ "it's great to see your eyes open but I need you to stay with me as long as you can."

 _I'm awake and my eyes are open?!_

It definitely doesn't seem like it as I cast them from side to side, and I find I can't seem to focus on anything as everything is a blur. As a result I can feel my anxiety levels start to rise as the amount of people I feel and sense around me grows and the feeling of confinement builds within me.

"Mr. Eaton we need you to calm down. This will be quite overwhelming but you're going to be okay, we are only here to assist you in waking up and making sure you feel as little pain as possible." I recognise the voice as the one I previously found had a gentle touch to it and although I remain anxious she has managed to settle me slightly.

Unfortunately that doesn't last long. "Is he okay, can I see him? I _need_ to see him" I can hear the strain in her voice almost immediately and I make a concerted effort to move out of this bed so I can reassure her myself, but all I find myself doing is trying to pull at any tube or wire attached to me.

"No..no..no..no, you can't pull those out" the once gentle now firm voice commands. I feel hands holding mine firmly down into the bed in order to prevent any further attempt and I know if I had my wits about me there would be no one in the world who could stop me getting to Tris when I can clearly hear her desperation.

"Can someone please get the young lady outside in here" _yes, listen to her the gentle voice._ My eyes continually move in every direction as I await a blonde blob to grace its way into my clouded vision and my heart almost lunges out of my chest as I see her mould into my blurred world. I try and blink as much as I can in the hope of making her a much clearer imagine but to no avail. She sweeps the hair back off my forehead as she takes a hold of my left hand and I try and return the squeeze as she moves closer to me. She puts what I believe to be her forehead on mine and I hear her take a sharp intake of air before exhaling slowly, "Tobias…I'm so" her voice starts to wavers "so glad you're awake. I was so worried" she whispers so only I can hear. I so desperately want to reach up and touch her face so I know she is real and that she isn't some guardian angel leading me into the light.

"I..I thought I might lose you but I should never have doubted your strength. Thank you for coming back to us" she adds as she leans back but not before leaving a lingering kiss on my forehead.

I try and return any words but I can't seem to get my brain to send the messages to my voice box right now so my lips open and close slightly as a result. However with her hand still firmly in mine I try and return my own thankfulness for her voice breaking me out of whatever my mind was in with a gentle squeeze.

"Okay so I want you, well both of you to know," I hear that friendly voice again and I assume she is talking to us, or most likely Tris because she at least knows she's 100% there. "Mr. Eaton-" she's interrupted momentarily by Tris, "you can call him Four" _thank you Tris!_

"Four...your vision will be somewhat unfocused but this should be temporary and your motor movement will be significantly lacking at the moment but again should improve as time moves on. Your awareness will also improve but that also means you will start to feel a lot more pain. It might be slightly throbbing pain right now but as we have to marginally reduce the medicine due to the need to keep you awake, you will start to feel it a lot more. We will try and keep you as comfortable as possible but some of it will be out of our hands unfortunately. We've done everything we need to right now so I will leave you two in peace but try and keep him awake for as long as possible." I know she directed the last bit at Tris as it will be her job to keep me awake, as despite being unconscious for however long I was I still feel my eyelids starting to droop ever so slightly.

I eventually hear her retreating steps so I turn my head as best I can and muster what I hope to be somewhat of a smile towards Tris in the hope of reassuring her I will be alright. I can't read her expression but by the way she grips onto my hand even tighter reaffirms to me that I have put her through the wringer and I will do everything I possibly can to recover as best and as quickly as possible in order to prevent this nightmare from going any longer.

 **Hope you enjoyed this one! Your comments from the last chapter were really encouraging as even though I didn't feel too good about you all had great things to say so thank you, and I'd love to hear them for this chapter too.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 – Tris**

Relieved wouldn't be a sufficient enough word to describe the feelings that have been flowing through me ever since Tobias woke up. The feeling of him reciprocating the hold on our adjoined hands was unlike anything I have ever experienced. Jubilation, euphoria, and exhilaration suddenly feel too insignificant to describe my emotions.

From the doctors initial prognosis I had been fearing the worst and despite how desperately I didn't want to believe that he could leave me again I knew that it was out of my control. He had to fight to live and I know we are incredibly lucky that he has woken up, and although he is still unable to formulate any spoken words or coordinate his movements I now have the hope that everything will be okay. And right now okay is good enough for me.

To say I am exhausted would be an understatement as my eyes burn as I struggle to keep them open, but I keep trying to fight it off in order to remain present for anything Tobias needs. I know how fast and sudden things can change and I don't want to be missing if anything does happen. I need the contact of his hand engulfing mine as I feel his steady pulse and the sight of his rising and falling chest each time he breathes.

The information on how he was involved or the amount of people impacted by the accident are still scarce but from what I've noticed from the diagonal bruising on his chest, as the nurse changed his wrapping, he was wearing his seatbelt and ultimately I believe that is what might have saved his life. I try not to think of how many other loved ones have been caught up in the aftermaths of the accident and what they are going through right now because I know what it's like and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

The nurse left us just over an hour ago and I've been trying to keep him awake and take his mind away from the pain I'm sure he is experiencing. I know Zeke probably would have been better at keeping his mind occupied but he and Shauna both had to leave as they had work commitments but assured me they would come back as soon as they could. It sent off an alarm in my mind that I've been neglecting my own work, but luckily when I called them earlier they understood and assured me I could take as much time as I needed. Zeke also informed me before he left that he called Tobias's workplace and they assured him not to worry about Tobias's position or anything else and they sent their best wishes.

As I continue my observation of Tobias whilst he lays still in bed I can't help but wish I could do something which would take all of his pain away. I keep asking him if he's in any pain but he moves his head, almost robotically, side to side indicating no. However his eyes tell me otherwise as the deep blue eyes which have always held a certain amount of purity are now cloudy, and I know that could be from the effects of his head trauma but knowing him as long as I have I can tell when he is trying to shield me from his true thoughts and feelings.

His slight tug on my hand takes me out of my thoughts and immediately back to him as I rise from my seat and hover over him, "you okay?"

He nods slightly and I'm sure I have a disbelieving expression written all over my face at his obvious pain and discomfort. With his lack of fluid movement and inability to talk deciphering what he is trying to tell me is borderline impossible and it's incredibly frustrating. I ask him what seems to be a hundred and one questions and none of them are what he's after.

"Tobias I'm sorry I don't…I don't know what you're trying to tell me" I tell him with clear frustration and the tone of utter helplessness.

He reaches his other hand towards me with a noticeable tremor and weakly points at me and then moves his fingers towards his thumb a few times, like a beak.

"Me…duck?" I ask perplexed, and I see him grin slightly so I know I'm wrong.

"Tobias…I'm going to need a little more than that" I say whilst doing the same hand movement he enacted a few moments ago and he then gestures for me to keep going, or at least that's what I think he's doing.

"You want me to do this?" I ask referring to my hand and he shakes his head again but this time he opens and closes his mouth like he wants to talk and then it all clicks.

"Ohhh…you want me to talk?" and he nods, and all I can think is why I didn't guess that earlier.

"I'm sorry…I'm supposed to be keeping you awake and I guess talking would do that and I've just been in my own head" I ramble on until he gives my hand a slight squeeze, "…sorry" I say shyly.

My head is still all over the place and I feel as though I'm of no use to him right now but I move my seat up closer to him nevertheless and readjust his head on the pillow so we can both clearly see each other. "Well it's just me here as the others have their work commitments but Christina should be coming soon with Ruby" I tell him whilst quickly glancing down at my phone to see if I've missed any calls or messages. I look back at him and notice a small smile gracing his features at the news, "but I don't know if she should see you like this Tobias…" I trail off as I notice the smile falling from his face. "I just…I don't know if she can handle it. Her daddy is her superhero," at that word I see his lips upturn again, "and I don't want her to think or worry about something happening to you again…but if you want to see her that's okay, just squeeze my hand if you do."

I can visibly see the wheels turning in his head as he weighs up his decision, and I honestly don't want Ruby to see her dad like this as he is still quite swollen and bruised and I just don't want her to see that at such a young age, but if he needs her than I will do my best to make sure she understands and is okay.

A few minutes pass and I haven't felt a squeeze on my hand but I can still see him stewing over it, "hey, she isn't here yet so when she is we can make a decision then alright" I suggest to him and he looks relieved. I have a feeling that he wants to see her but he knows I'm not feeling too fond of the idea so he's trying to delay as best he can, and I suppose its working.

"You know…I am," I stumble on my words as I weigh up how much to express now that I know he can hear every word, "words can't explain how relieved I am to see you awake. You gave us a real fright you know…and don't ever do that again!" I say with emotion thick in my voice. I don't break eye contact with him as my words bounce around the room. I know he didn't plan this but I can't help the emotions which bubble within me but suddenly I feel my left hand rise with his towards my face where he proceeds in rubbing the back of his hand across my cheek, making me aware of the tears falling down my face. I would blame my emotional unpredictability on hormones but I know it is purely because of the man laid in front of me. Ever since he came back I have experienced every emotion under the sun as I fought an in internal battle between my head and my heart. He has always had the hold over my heart and no matter how hard my head has been fighting against it, it just can't seem to win and I don't know if I ever did want it to.

This event seems to have been the one to break the dam wall as everything I have been feeling flows through me all over again as I contemplate what I really want.

"You must think I am a complete nut job" I say moments later with a hint of humour through my emotionally thick voice. He pulls my hand towards him to take my attention from my lap onto him and then proceeds to shake his head in disagreement to what I just said. He doesn't usually contribute much to conversations but I can tell he is frustrated at his inability to talk at this very moment, and that in itself is enough to let me know he understands.

…..

After I became a little too emotional I steered the conversation to lighter and more random topics which did manage to pick both of our spirits up. Whether they were about Ruby and her mischievous adventures or recollections from happier times early in our relationship they side-tracked my thoughts and hopefully took his mind away from the pain.

During my talkfest I got a text from Christina telling me she would be a little longer as a certain someone wasn't too keen to wake up and face another day and I told Tobias who did look a little disappointed but did lighten up when I told him that it "reminds me of someone I know."

We fall into silence, well just me really, momentarily and suddenly there is a knock on the door and I assume it must be another nurse but before I even have the opportunity to tell them to come in a woman is already striding towards us with a collection of balloons. She is quite tall, which is only emphasised by her obnoxiously high heels, and she has long wavy dark hair. I suppose she is quite pretty but her appearance is a stark comparison from Tobias and I. I certainly look completely dishevelled not to mention how bad I smell, and Tobias well I guess none of us can compete with him whilst she seems to be dressed to perfection as not even a hair seems out of place.

I soon realise she hasn't even looked my way and it seems as though to her that her and Tobias are the only ones in the room. I quickly swivel around in my chair in order to face Tobias again and his expression is one of shock and confusion which only unsettles me as his grip on my hand gets tighter and tighter with every step she takes. I would take the time to be amazed at the strength he has regained so quickly but my mind is elsewhere as I try and figure out who this woman is. "Oh Tobias" she cries out, and I have to consciously withhold the confused scowl, which I know is hopeless because I'm completely taken a back as to how she knows Tobias enough to know his first name.

"I'm so relieved to know you're okay!" she exclaims whilst taking a hold of his other hand. I'm sure by now that my jaw has hit the floor at how forward this mysterious woman is and just as I am about to question who she is she turns to look at me for the first time. She looks surprised to see me as though I am the one out of place, "oh sorry I didn't see you there. I'm Nita."

 **This is a little later and shorter than I expected as I've been quite busy as I'm going to India today, so sorry for that but I am hoping I can find time to update next week whilst I'm there. Thankfully this isn't something I've personally experienced only through too many TV shows and movies so I appreciate all your comments on it so thank you, thank you, thank you once again for all your reviews!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 – Tobias**

No way. There's no chance it's her. My mind must be playing tricks on me as a result of my head trauma, but as I blink repeatedly she still doesn't disappear she only gets clearer as she moves closer.

Just when I thought being in a car accident was bad enough here she is waltzing into my room with what appears to be balloons as though we have been close friends for a long period of time. I want to scream at her to get out, or send her a menacing glare but my lack of voice and muscle coordination prevents me from doing so.

I have still yet to go to work since she called me but I assume the weekend must have passed, and even though it feels as like I have been laying here for days on end it must only be early in the week, if her appearance is anything to go by.

Her high pitched voice suddenly rings out in my ears as she cries out, "oh Tobias" and I can feel Tris's nails digging deeper into my hand, most likely in shock of someone else saying my first name so openly, but I squeeze back just as hard as the contact provides me with some of her strength as I know I'm going to need it due to my own shock and confusion over what is happening right now.

This situation was already something I was struggling internally with as I knew the moment Tris stormed out of my apartment that day, that I needed to find words to explain to tell Tris how the girl I had told her about all those years ago is Nita, and that she now is somehow my supervisor.

It was hard enough trying to think of possible ways to approach the subject without Tris thinking anything would happen, and it is safe to say that this isn't how I ever thought it would pan out, but as I lay here with no voice I feel completely exposed and unable to defend my position to Tris, who I know is going to jump into all sorts of conclusions.

Nita's attempts of sincerity and softness towards me go unacknowledged as I occupy my mind with the woman holding desperately onto my hand. I hadn't looked over at her since Nita walked in as I was set in a state of shock, but as she gets closer to my other side I cast my eyes over at Tris and I can see a deeply embedded scowl creasing her forehead and her eyes now a noticeably stormy gray.

Her eyes are locked firmly on Nita and just as I am about to attempt to pull her hand towards me in order to redirect her attention I hear a shrill voice close by my right ear, "I'm so relieved to know you're okay!"

I continue to try my best to ignore Nita and focus on Tris as I know if she saw my shocked and, hopefully, innocent expression she would ignore her presence as well, but that goes out of the window as soon as Nita takes a hold of my right hand. My body reacts almost instantly as a sting radiates through me, completely juxtaposed to the way my other hand feels with Tris's firmly intertwined with mine.

I'm sure Tris's shock mirrors mine as I try and coordinate my movement so I can rip my hand out of Nita's grasp but I assume she notices my lack of attention as she moves to hover over me until she says, "oh sorry I didn't see you there. I'm Nita," which obviously is directed towards Tris.

I can see the wheels in her mind turning as she pieces together the name, the person in front of her and no doubt the phone call I was on the other day where I assume she heard me say Nita's name. I see her eyes scan the room erratically before they land on my right hand which apparently is still in Nita's if Tris's expression is anything to go by. _Shit._

I can see her face drop and I don't even have the chance to attempt to tighten my grip on her hand before she rips it out and stares angrily between Nita and I.

I know from experience that when Tris is angry or hurt she rarely sees sense whilst in the heat of the moment but as my voice can't diffuse the situation my only hope is that I can convey what I am feeling through my eyes. I have been trying to shield her ever since I woke up from the excruciating pain I am in, and she can probably see right through me but I shield her from as much as I can as she has already been through so much. I know she is strong and can handle anything that is thrown at her and her standing beside me now is a testament to that, but I can't help the innate desire which compels me to protect her at all costs. My previous actions may have been questionable to some but I have always put Tris above all else and now is no different as I know I have to let her in if I am to have any hope of extinguishing anything Nita may have to say.

However I suppose the only issue now is getting her to look at me for longer than the fleeting glances she's giving me now whilst she processes everything around her.

"Sorry how do you know _Four_?" Tris asks with controlled anger. I clench my eyes shut as soon as she finishes the question, as firstly I'm unsure if she is using Four as a weapon against me or warning Nita off, and secondly I know Nita's response will be nothing short of over exaggerated and it will lead to nothing but pushing Tris and I further apart from each other.

Tris is incredibly perceptive, always has been, so I am banking on her right now to read this for what it is and not be blinded by my past actions.

 **Tris POV**

I can't believe she is here. This Nita woman who was on the phone to Tobias the other day, in which he not so discretely made me well aware of his affection towards her, is stood directly across from me still holding Tobias's hand. I raise my eyebrows towards her expectantly as I await the answer which will confirm my suspicions, if his reaction is anything to go by.

She straightens slightly as though not to crease her attire and she gives me a small smile before glancing at Tobias, "well we go way back, we've always been very close" she reveals to me with a hint of suggestion. I nod almost mechanically as she pretty much confirms what I already thought and I feel as though I need to escape from this room immediately, but before I can Nita speaks up again.

"Sorry…who are you?" she asks challengingly.

"I'm…I'm Tris, just his friend," I stumble out dejectedly. I don't really know what we are to each other right now, and just being his friend isn't what I want but as I look his way I don't miss the way his eyes are searching mine or the pain swirling through them. I know he is in pain from his injures but I'm confused as to why he is revealing this to me now after he so strongly denied it only moments before.

"That's nice, but I am here now so you can go" she firmly tells me. I recoil at her words as they sting more than I thought they would.

I stand frozen by Tobias's bedside in disbelief, as not only did she tell me to go but now she is coddling him as though I'm not even in the room and he doesn't even seem to flinch at her touch.

I thought he respected me enough to not flaunt her in front of me but I guess I was wrong, and maybe that means I've been wrong about a lot of things regarding him.

"Are you going to stand and watch all day?" she says rudely as she interrupts my thoughts.

Confusion and pain are my overriding emotions as I stand dazed in place, but as she finishes her question I begin having an internal battle with myself over whether I should trudge out of this room defeated or stand up for myself and what I want.

As I keep my eyes locked onto Nita's, whilst sorting through my thoughts, I see a flash of movement from the corner of my eye and she reacts instantly as her eyes move rapidly towards Tobias. I follow her gaze and notice Tobias's hand is no longer in hers and that he only has eyes for me. My breath catches in my throat momentarily as his deep blue eyes pierce through me, it sends a shiver up and down my spine in response to his intense gaze.

We seem to be each other's only focus until the shrill of her voice shatters the moment, "Tobias baby, look at me. I'm here now everything is alright" she says in a high pitched babyish tone. She then turns to look at me with a fiery glare, "as I said before, you can leave now."

I take a deep breath in order to give myself more time to think of what to say, "I'm sorry but I'm staying" I state firmly.

"I'm not sure what your relationship status is" I gesture between them, "but as his friend and the _mother_ of his child I am going nowhere until he tells me otherwise."

Something I said must have caught her off guard as stares blankly at me and then Tobias, "you...you have a child? With her?" she asks incredulously. I'm once again taken a back as I realise he must not have told her about Ruby, and I can't help but think this entire scenario could be written into a soap opera.

I rub the palms of my hands over my face a few times as I try and relieve some of the stress and tiredness which is making itself known.

"Look I just want him to get better as soon as possible so we either sit in silence or you leave."

Safe to say she didn't appreciate that ultimatum as her upper lip upturns and an overall look of disgust adorns her features, but frankly I don't really care.

I return to my seat and quickly look at Tobias, to make sure he is okay, but I see that he is already looking at me with a small smirk. I look at him with raised eyebrows and a slight shake of my head unsure as to why he is directing it at me after the way I just spoke to his 'girlfriend.'

Suddenly his face is turned around by Nita's hand and I want to slap some sense into her as he just experienced significant head trauma and she is whipping his head around like a doll.

"Be careful! He may be awake but he is still critical" I shout out before I even realise it.

"He is none of your concern. I have known him longer than you and you're just some girl he had fun with, and he obviously accidently knocked you up. He clearly doesn't even care much for your child as he hasn't even told me-"

"Excuse me!" a loud voice booms through the room effectively interrupting Nita, I turn towards the door and see the friendly nurse from earlier, who doesn't look so friendly now.

I'm extremely thankful for her interruption as I don't know how much longer I could have listened to Nita say I was merely a fling for Tobias without my temper flaring and resorting to physical violence.

"Who let you in here?" she asks Nita directly with her hands on her hips.

"Uhh...ermm-"

"You are not authorised to be in here without approval so may I ask your relation to Mr. Eaton?"

I turn to look at Nita and she is visibly unsettled but manages to speak anyway, "yes, I'm a very close friend" whilst still managing to add a suggestive wink at the end.

I turn back towards the nurse and she looks sceptical as she moves her line of vision towards me. She gives me a questionable look as though waiting for me to confirm or deny but I simply shrug my shoulders as I have no idea what to think or believe. _But_ _I really wish I did_

She moves slowly towards Tobias whilst politely asking both Nita and I to step outside so she can check him over. Although hesitant to leave his side for even a moment I know this needs to be done in private so I go without a fuss, Nita however takes a little more persuading and it's taking everything within me not to react.

I take my place against the wall, opposite to the door so I still feel close enough as to not miss anything if something happens.

"You know it's weird, Tobias never spoke of you Trish-"

"Tris" I interject firmly.

"That's what I said…anyways thanks for being here when I couldn't but you can go now. I'll stay and make sure he's okay. I suppose you could ask for the doctors to update you as I probably won't have time whilst I'm with him, and well he can't really do it himself" she laughs quietly to herself after she says that and then adds "…not the he would anyways" under her breath, but I'm sure she meant for me to hear it.

"Look I don't even know you or what you are to him, and frankly I don't care"… _lies, I really do and it's eating away at me…_ "I'm here to help him get better and be there for him as well, so if you could respect _our_ relationship that would be greatly appreciated."

I don't know how much longer I can go back and forth with this woman as the exhaustion really starts to take over my body. I have been running on adrenaline and built up anxiety for too long and I know I am about to crash but I can't let it be in front of her. I need to keep going for as long as it takes Tobias to be taken out of the critical stage.

Quite a few more minutes pass, thankfully in silence, as I stare at the door and Nita at me before the door swings open and the nurse makes her way out. I assess her for any physical clues as to any possible changes for both better or worse but she is providing no such luck.

"Excuse me" she directs softly towards Nita.

"Mr. Eaton has informed me that he does not require, nor desires your presence by his side. As you are also not of relation I must ask you to leave and to respect his wishes."

I stand frozen in place as I try and come up with any explanation as to why Tobias doesn't want her by his bedside.

"He can't even talk so how did he tell you he doesn't want me here!" Nita declares accusingly.

"Well sometimes someone finds their voice at just the right time" she says with what I think is a hint of insinuation in her tone, and as Nita storms away my eyes suddenly spring wide open in shock and excitement, "you know he's a very strong willed man. I have yet to see such a drastic recovery in such little time for a patient with as serious injuries as his. He must really have something worth fighting for" she adds with a wink before gesturing into the room and walking away, no doubt making sure Nita did in fact leave.

I don't know what to expect as I walk back through the door as I don't want to get my hopes up and presume that what the nurse insinuated was that he has got his voice back in fear of being disappointed. However as I move further into the room and into Tobias's line of vision he conjures up a small smile, "hey" he croaks out.

 **Glad I was able to find some time to write whilst I'm here and that the website is back up and running. Hope you enjoyed this one and I love hearing your thoughts, so thank you to everyone who reviews, favourites and follows you're all amazing :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 – Tobias**

As Tris and Nita walked out of the room my eyes only lingered on one of them, and the nurse not so subtly made me aware that she noticed, what she called, my love struck eyes. I immediately felt my face flush from embarrassment at being caught so I tried to avoid all eye contact but then she informed me that, "she looks at you the exact same way" and that made my head turn almost instantly. Well as fast and as coordinated as I could manage.

I know I am usually always oblivious to any signs of affection but I still can't recall seeing Tris looking at me the way I know I do towards her, so I'm in a complete state of confusion and I must look at her completely dumbfounded because she simply gives me a small chuckle and says, "I've only seen you two for a short time but it's obvious how deeply you care for one another. She hasn't left your side and she looks at you with such adoration, and you well…you worship the ground she walks on, so I can't believe how oblivious you both are to each other's feelings."

I can't think of any objections to her observation of how I view Tris, but her words do send my mind into overdrive as I contemplate whether or not her assessment of Tris is accurate, as surely it can't be true. I'm very quickly broken out of my thoughts as she begins her routine check-up by poking and prodding me exactly where it hurts the most and if I had a voice I'm sure I would be voicing a stream of expletives.

My face scrunches up in pain and my body, as uncoordinated as it is right now, is contorting and squirming in response to the thorough examination she is giving me. Her check-up seems to be lasting an eternity and I don't know how much longer I can withstand the pain without passing out. _Please stop…_

The nurse suddenly stops her movements, "what did you just say?!" and I'm immediately perplexed as, as far as I know I didn't say anything.

"I swear you just said please stop, drink this" she moves a glass of water towards me which I carefully drink through a straw, "and now try and say something."

"It hurts" I manage to croak out after a few attempts to my utter disbelief. I see her jaw drop almost instantly so she must have heard something as well and my heart practically leaps out of my chest at the realisation.

"This is incredible, you're recovery time is as quick as I've ever seen" she tells me with such enthusiasm but then adds, "however as exciting and incredible as this is I must advise you to try not to use your voice too much as it will only aggravate the pain in your ribcage."

As she continues her check up on all my stats I can hear her muttering how remarkable my progress has been and it does fill me with confidence that I will make a full recovery, as I can't deny the thought of never being able to speak again did cross my mind as I conjured up a number of worse case scenarios.

"Okay well I've checked all your stats and they are looking good so I'm going to give you some pain medicine. It will make you feel drowsy and most likely send you to sleep so before I do that I need to ask you about the other woman who was in here before." I nod indifferently as I don't even want to think about Nita, "it seemed to me as though you didn't want to be anywhere near her so if she's not someone you want in here say the word and I will tell her to leave."

I take a moment to prepare myself and again speak with a noticeably hoarse, but firm, voice "I…don't ever want…her here." She nods, in what I think is in relief, and asks no further questions as she busies herself with preparing my pain relief.

"I'm all done now so I will now leave you in peace and go tell this other woman you do not want her here and inform Tris that she can come back in." As she walks out I start feeling the effects of the medication almost instantly and the relief is simply indescribable.

A few minutes have passed and I've been revelling in the relief of no longer feeling the constant pain which threatened to cause me to pass out whilst trying to decipher the muffled voices I can hear from just outside my room. I can't quite piece together what is being said but I know I heard Nita and her obnoxious voice no doubt proclaiming her right to be here until suddenly I hear the sound of the door creaking open. No one appears for a few moments until I see Tris tentatively make her way in and my mind goes back to what the nurse said earlier and I can't resist smiling softly at her before saying "hey," much to her surprise.

….

Frustratingly I didn't manage to stay awake much longer after Tris walked into the room as the pain medication sent my body into a state of relief, but I was awake long enough to see the outpouring of her emotions.

Seeing her cry because of me made me realise how hard this has been for her and I am extremely thankful for how fast I am recovering, as the outcome could have been completely different. I don't like to think of how bad this could have been but when I see her so visibly emotional my mind can't help but imagine, what if? It's a loaded question that has so many possible answers but knowing how close I was to leaving her and Ruby makes me re-evaluate what is important.

I slept for a considerable amount of time which meant I missed Ruby when she came with Christina, and as much as I wanted to see her I know Tris wasn't entirely comfortable with it whilst I am still in this state, so I know I have to use it as motivation to get better as fast as possible.

 **Tris POV**

It's been a couple of weeks since Tobias's accident and after spending the first few days constantly by his bed side I had to eventually go home so I could take care of Ruby and ultimately go back to work. It was extremely hard not being by his bedside 24/7 as the niggling fear of something happening always threatened to rear its ugly head, but he always seemed to be able to sense my worry and was always able to convince me he was fine when I went to see him each evening.

When he first regained his voice I was a ticking time bomb of tears and a range of emotions which threatened to spill over at any moment. His voice raspy and hoarse was laced with pain but also contained a hint of delight at regaining an action which we all take for granted. He still finds it hard to talk through the pain as the vibration of talking only aggravates his broken ribs so we haven't been able to talk in any level of depth, thus keeping the minimal amount of conversations we have on a superficial level.

It keeps things light and deters us from our problems, but I sense we both know there will come a time when the more serious conversations need to happen. And they could happen sooner than we think as I got a call last night from the hospital informing me that his improvement has been simply amazing, so much so that he is being released today.

"Your daddy is leaving the hospital today" I excitedly tell Ruby as I dress her in her blue daisy dungarees with a yellow under shirt. "You're looking as cute as a button missy" I say as I tap her nose and plant her back on her feet, and she laughs in delight and screams "dada, dada" through her fit of giggles.

I only took her to see him the day before last as his physical wounds had diminished significantly that she wouldn't notice anything was seriously wrong. She simply knows that her daddy has a 'boo boo' and that she needs to be gentle around him.

"Come on then let's go rescue your daddy from the hospital."

….

Once we get inside the hospital I am more or less being dragged by my almost two year old daughter through the halls towards Tobias's room, how she remembers where it is after only a couple of visits completely surprises me. "Someone's excited to see their dad-" I say as I open the door only to be stopped in my tracks as I see Tobias stood next to his bed in only his boxers. "I'm sorry I…I ummm…I can come back" I manage to stumble out whilst looking towards my feet as I feel the familiar flush spread over my face. I hear the deep rumble of his laughter, which is music to my ears, and then a spluttering cough, from the pain he has most likely inflicted on himself, "Tris, its fine…nothing you haven't seen before" he adds cheekily.

I've found that as his recovery progresses he is becoming a lot more comfortable in my presence, much like the Tobias I knew before he left, but it still doesn't deter from the fact that I am feeling completely embarrassed for walking in on him, despite having seen it all before. Ruby on the other hand remains completely oblivious as she runs up to greet him, carefully stopping before she reaches him, "hello my little princess…aren't you looking super cute"

"Dada k?" she questions with concern beyond her years,

I hear Tobias clear his throat slightly before telling her "yes, daddy is much better…Tris can you umm…help me with my t-shirt?" I look back up at for the first time since I walked in and see he has managed to put his pants on but still remains half naked with a now self-conscious expression. I nod, or at least I think I do, and move slowly towards him whilst swallowing the lump in my throat in the process.

I take the black t-shirt he has laid on the bed into my hands before scrunching it up to the head hole so I can easily put his head through it as he is considerably taller than I am. We move closer to one another and immediately I become aware of the heat radiating off his body and it causes a number reactions within my own that I'm not sure I'm willing to acknowledge right now.

I can feel his eyes on me and I breathe in deeply to steady my hands as they make the way to the top of his head. I manage to get his head through his t-shirt and as I start rolling it further down his torso my fingers graze across his skin and I can feel him shudder under my touch and notice his eyes flutter shut whilst he lets out a small sigh. A simple task has suddenly turned into one of palpable intensity and chemistry where the desire to be closer to him only intensifies with each passing moment.

Our moment is soon broken by Ruby tugging on each of our pant legs whilst crying out for some sort of attention, so I quickly compose myself and manage to get his shirt on in record time hopefully without causing him too much pain.

We both awkwardly move around each other as he busies himself with collecting his stuff whilst I hoist Ruby onto my hip to settle her as I wait for him to be ready.

"I'm ready" he declares a few moments later somewhat nervously. I turn to look at him and he smiles at me softly whilst slowly rubbing the back of his neck and I can't help but stare at him as I finally realise that he is going to be okay because he's going home and I thank whoever was watching over him that day. "You okay?" he asks breaking me out of my thoughts and I simply return his smile from earlier and reply, "I am now" as I make my way out of his room for the final time.

We end up at the main desk signing his discharge forms when one of the nurses asks who Tobias will be staying with as he continues his recovery. We both turn to look at each other as neither of us thought to consider his arrangements once he left the hospital, but immediately I know what I need to do and I just hope he agrees to it, "you can stay with us."

He furrows his eyebrows at me and pulls me away from the prying ears of the nurses, "Tris…you know you don't have to do this I…I can stay at Zeke's-"

I interrupt him with an unexpected harsh whisper, "Tobias it's okay" and as I see him slowly start to accept my offer I lighten up my tone, "I have a spare room you can stay in and I know Ruby will love having you close by… _and me too_ " but I refrain from saying the last part.

"Okay then, I guess it's settled…I'm staying at yours."

As we inform the nurse of our solution I start thinking about how this is going to work with us in such close proximity to one another, especially considering how I have to provide a care service which will require physical contact which I didn't foresee when I first suggested he stay with Ruby and I.

Our past encounters only serve as evidence of our inability to control ourselves around each other as we always seem to cave into our connection, and if it weren't for a number of people or events unfolding which have interrupted us a lot more could have happened.

After all the papers have been signed we walk extremely slowly towards my car where we decide to stop by Tobias's place to pick up essential items before heading over to mine. "Thank you Tris…I know you didn't have to offer your place for me and I really appreciate that you did. I'll try not to be too much of a disturbance."

"Tobias, you could never be a disturbance. I _want_ you at mine where I can look after you and make sure you are okay so don't ever think you aren't welcome, because you always are."

 **Bit of a time skip just to get it moving along but I hope you did enjoy this chapter :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30 – Tobias**

We pull up at Tris's house after stopping briefly at my place to pick up some of my stuff, and as we sit idle on her driveway I think I'm still in shock at the fact the she offered me a place to stay whilst I recover.

I know I haven't been as open and amicable as I could have been since I've come back, but kindness has always been a weakness of mine. It doesn't mean that it's only been me that's been hostile as we are both equally scarred and hurt from each other and ours pasts, but I can't help but feel she is offering out an olive branch, one I intend on making the most of.

Living under the same roof is sure to test us as we are far from having worked things out as a number of conversations still need to be had, however I know we both can't deny the intensity of our physical attraction. Just being in close proximity to her causes my heart rate to rise and the feeling of butterflies to circulate as the familiar feelings for her make themselves known.

She has always had an ability to affect me in ways that are indescribable but the way her fingers lightly grazed my skin as she assisted with my t-shirt sent my body into euphoria and set my skin a light. I know she noticed my reactions and if it weren't for Ruby I might not have been able to control the innate desire I had to be closer to her.

"Tobias, Tobias.." I hear a soothing voice from my left which is soon accompanied by a feather like touch on my forearm. I turn towards the voice and notice Tris staring at me intently with a look of worry etched on her face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…sorry just caught me daydreaming" I flash her a quick smile to dispel any of her worries and move slowly and cautiously towards the door so I can get out of the car.

Once I finally manage to get out unscathed I notice Tris with mine, hers and Ruby's bags which have been accumulated over the number of weeks I have been in hospital.

"Let me take th-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence" she states firmly with a look which I know not to argue with, "you're seriously injured Tobias, so you better get used to me helping you. You _can_ take Ruby inside though." Despite knowing she is right about me having to limit what I do, I hate the fact that she has to take care of me as it should be the other way around. I huff in frustration at my injuries before taking Ruby's outstretched hand and slowly following Tris to the front door.

Despite Ruby being patient with my inability to walk at any great deal of pace as soon as I manage to get inside she escapes from my hold and dashes through the house whilst I seek the immediate comfort of the couch. I've found the level of pain and discomfort decrease over the past few days which is making talking a lot easier, but having four broken ribs severely restricts my movement and if the simple task of breathing hurts anything else is simply unimaginable, despite how desperate I am to do things for myself again.

"Hey" Tris says softly, bringing my attention instantly to her as she enters the living room carrying a large pillow and a bag containing some of my stuff. I return the greeting and smile weakly at her as she sits next to me whilst placing my stuff within my reach. "Thank you" I tell her with up most sincerity, hoping she realises it stems far greater than simply giving me my stuff.

She stays beside me, close enough to hear her breathing but not close enough to be within touching distance. It makes her presence both frustrating and comforting as I desperately crave her tender touch but I know just having her beside me has to be enough for now.

"Bet you're glad to be out of the hospital" she says breaking the silence.

"Absolutely…I'm not sure how much longer I could have stayed there without ripping my hair out"

"Well I can't guarantee you that you won't feel like that here, living with two girls is no easy feat..." she says and then laughs nervously whilst diverting her gaze elsewhere so I wait for her to re-establish eye contact before I reply.

As she averts her eyes back to mine a few moments later I can instantly sense her trepidation, "there is no place I'd rather be."

Being open and honest with her is something I need to start doing and what I just said is the absolute truth.

She fidgets nervously with the hem of her sweatshirt as she lets my words sink in and just as I think she is about to say something Ruby races into the room yelling, "mummmmy, mummy" in only her diaper. Tris looks relieved at the interruption and breaks out into a laugh at our little girl and I start to follow suit until I am reminded of the pain it causes, so I take the pillow and hold it on my chest in the hope of restricting my chest's expansion. Ruby revels in the reaction she is receiving so she abandons her immediate need for Tris and continues running in circles around the room. I don't know where she has inherited her sense of showmanship but she is a perfect mixture of both Tris and I, and as I look over at both her and Tris I realise it's in moments like these that I realise what a family should be.

As her energy seemingly starts to fizzle Tris calls out her name and she slowly makes her way over whilst rubbing her eyes. "Someone's tired" I say, and to my surprise she seems to understand what I said as she shakes her head at me whilst yawning and I smile at her widely as she never ceases to amuse me. She climbs onto Tris's lap and snuggles closely, "I think daddy is right, a nap is definitely needed missy" Tris tells her as she moves onto her feet with Ruby in tow. She walks over to me and hovers Ruby above me where I proceed to give her a kiss before Tris goes to get her ready for a nap.

Whilst Tris is out of the room it gives me time to check my phone for any missed calls, messages or emails which I might have missed over the past few weeks. I wasn't able to use my phone as initially I was unable to co-ordinate my fingers but with my muscle movement almost back to normal I decide now is as good as time as any, and as my phone turns on I'm surprised at the amount of messages I have received. Most of them are from them are from Zeke and Shauna and surprisingly I have a few from Christina wishing me well, however as I scroll further I see a multitude of messages from an unknown number and it peaks my interest.

As soon as I open them I wish I hadn't as it is completely obvious as to who they're from.

 _'_ _Great idea about keeping Trish in the dark about us'_ Its Tris!

 _'_ _There's no need to play hard to get…I know how you feel about me'_

I rub my hand down my face in frustration as the messages only get more forthright as I read through them and I can't believe how ignorant she is, so I waste no further time with reading anymore as I delete them and block her number.

It could have repercussions at work but if this was in any other setting I would cut all ties from her, but because she is my supervisor at work there is no way of escaping her… _unless I quit_.

I'm trying to sort out my scattered thoughts when I notice Tris slip back into the room and retake her place next to me, "do you need anything?"

"No…I'm okay thanks, she go down okay?"

She smiles at me and my heart flutters, "for someone who said they weren't tired she was out like a light." I smile widely at her in acknowledgement of our daughter, and her antics.

The room suddenly feels extremely loud from the weight of our thoughts and feelings as they cloud the air, yet we are now both consumed by silence.

"I suppose we should talk"

"We need to discuss a few things," we both say simultaneously, resulting in both of us laughing nervously and averting our gaze anywhere but at each other.

I decide to bite the bullet, "ask me anything that's on your mind" I tell her with nervousness noticeably etched in my voice. She gives me a questionable look as though asking me if I'm sure and I just nod at her, too stiff with anxiety to make any other gesture.

I see her purse her lips in deep thought before she inhales deeply and says, "okay…well firstly…I just want to know what the whole deal is with Nita."

I knew this was going to come up so I take a deep breath before starting.

"There is nothing going on…I found out the morning you were at my apartment and the day of the accident that she's now my supervisor at work…" she looks visibly confused, "but you know the girl I told you about early on in our relationship?" I can see the wheels turning in her mind as she nods, "well…it's her…" _bombshell well and truly dropped, good job Tobias…_

Her lips create a clear 'o' shape at my revelation, "oh I see…well" she stumbles on her words and before she has the chance to say anything else I feel the need to clear up the situation as best I can.

"I don't know what she's said to you but there is absolutely nothing between her and I. We were together when I was young and stupid…and I haven't heard from her in years so when she called that morning I was completely shock-"

"Why were you talking her up then?" she asks coldly, staring directly at me.

I hope my expression reflects just how confused I am feeling at this exact moment as I have no idea what she is talking about.

" _Don't_ look at me as though you have no idea what I'm talking about Tobias" she spits out as though reading my thoughts.

"I wasn't hitting on her Tris…" _I'm completely dumbfounded as I have no idea what she's talking about_ "…when I initially heard her voice I knew it was her and…I just didn't want you seeing how agitated I was from hearing her voice. I was finding out she was my supervisor so I was stunned, but I certainly wasn't happy about it…nor was I talking her up."

"Well you were flustered and stumbling over your words at whatever she suggested…no doubt enjoying the thought" she says challenging me. Her face is tense as she flexes her jaw and she can hardly meet my eyes, most likely in fear for what she thinks she may find if she probes too deep.

I clench my eyes shut trying to remember exactly what happened as my recollection of that day is still hazy but I do know for a fact I did not enjoy anything Nita said.

"There was no insinuation on my part Tris, she was informing me that she was going to be my supervisor…which is why I was utterly speechless. I want nothing to do with her, and if I'm being honest I would rather quit my job than have to see her again!" I say with my emotions threatening to bubble over.

We both stare intently at one another with neither of us backing down as we are both too stubborn, which is why a lot often remains unresolved.

"Why did she come to the hospital then?" she asks in a small voice, most likely expecting the worse despite my insistence nothing was or is going to happen.

"I have no idea Tris…she's crazy and I want nothing to do with her, that's why I told the nurse to get rid of her...there's only one woman I want…and she's sat right next to me."

Her eyes don't waver from mine, and I don't know if she is even realising she is doing it but she has her bottom lip between her teeth and it's driving me crazy.

"Tri-"

"No, just let me talk" she says with her hand up towards me beckoning me to be silent.

"So let me get this straight…Nita is the woman you were with before me and now she's your supervisor at work?

I rub the back of neck nervously and nod and I see her jaw flex once again and it strikes a pang of fear within me as I realise she may not have believed anything I just said.

"…but you don't have any feelings for her?" _this I can answer with upmost certainty_

"Absolutely none."

She turns away from me and sinks back into the couch with her head in her hands and I don't hesitate in moving towards her, as painful as it may be.

"Hey" I say whilst attempting to pry her hands away from her face, but as I do she starts shaking her head and moving further away from me. _Shit, I did something wrong again didn't I…why can't I ever do anything right with her?_

"I…I'm sorry" she chokes out through her hands just as I am about to give her some space. _What?!_

"I jumped to conclusions…about you and her…and then you were in an accident…and it's all my fault," I sit frozen in place at her outcry as this is in no way her fault.

"Tris" I say firmly beckoning her to look at me, but she refuses.

"This is in _no_ way your fault. It was an accident…and I don't care that you jumped to conclusions as I know I don't have the best track record in trust…but you have to know the accident had nothing to do with you…" I'm close enough to her now that I can tilt her chin up towards me and I see instantly that her eyes are filled with tears, "…I'm here and I'm okay and it's because of you" her eyebrows shoot up in surprise at my words.

"I could hear your voice-"

"You could?" she asks on the verge of tears

"Yeah, even when I'm unconscious you still manage to be heard" I add hoping to lighten the mood and I think I'm successful as she smiles shyly at me.

After I realise I've been staring deep into her eyes and holding her chin for perhaps longer than acceptable I drop my hand and instantly I feel cold without her touch. She however has other ideas as she immediately picks it up and laces it with one of her own, making my heart lunge out of my chest.

I'm staring at our joint hands when she speaks up, "I shouldn't have assume anything and I'm sorry I didn't believe you Tobias...but I do now" and instantly Nita and everything else makes itself scarce whilst I stare at the woman who admittedly controls my heart, and instinctively I lean towards her and rest my forehead on hers, "thank you Tris."

 **Thank you everyone** **for all your amazing comments! I can't believe we've reached over 250 reviews, its mind blowing. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 – Tris**

I remember when things were simple. Where I knew what I wanted and how I felt. Where decisions I made were only for me. But now it's not just me. I have Ruby to think about, and that is why I end up analysing every interaction with Tobias more than I should. Becoming a mother changes your priorities and I don't want to jeopardise her relationship with him if we can't work things out. Although I really hope we can.

Today has been emotional to say the least. After Tobias told me who Nita was I was initially taken a back at the revelation that she is the girl he was with before me. He hadn't told me a great deal about her but it was enough to know she was his distraction from everything else in his life at the time. He had always assured me he never felt for her what he did for me and I felt like a complete idiot after he told me the phone call was simply her telling him she was his supervisor and not romantic on his part, which I had wrongly assumed. It still doesn't change my opinion of her as from what I saw at the hospital she is clearly delusional and I don't trust her.

I rub my hands over my face as all these thoughts are keeping me awake as I toss and turn in my bed, with only the rustling of the sheets breaking the silence of the night.

As I stare up at the ceiling I realise how strange it feels knowing Tobias is only down the hall, sleeping under the same roof as me. When he left I never thought this would ever be a possibility, and if he ever did return I'd hoped he would be beside me. It's a dagger straight into my heart realising how much we've been torn apart.

After we had spoken to each other earlier we realised how close we had become and as though not to make the other uncomfortable we both created a little distance between us, despite feeling as though neither of us really wanted to. Sometimes it feels as though we are teenagers again trying to navigate through our feelings and hormones which sometimes threaten to boil over, as even the smallest of touches sends my body into overdrive. It's a weird dynamic as we share so much history and attraction yet we are still holding back from one another both physically and emotionally and that's making it hard on the both of us.

I don't know where to start the healing process as I'm still so confused about how I feel. I've forgiven the circumstances in which Tobias left as I understand his intention in making sure I was safe, but I feel as though I should have been informed about the situation. He missed my pregnancy and the first year and a half of Ruby's life and that's hard to forget, especially with Christina constantly reminding me every time I see her. I know it must be hard on him as well and I realise I haven't been as understanding in that sense, but as I think about it now I realise he hasn't given me any doubts about his desire to be there for Ruby. He's the type of dad I always imagined him to be and I haven't given him nearly enough credit. He didn't ask for any of this and I know I have to relieve the burden I can see he is carrying before it cripples him.

I turn over towards my bedside table to make sure I can't hear Ruby over the baby monitor before I try and settle for the night and once I'm sure I hear nothing I close my eyes to try and settle myself in for the night.

I feel as though I am on the edge of sleep when I hear a booming "NOOOOO" echo through the house, followed by another loud shout "PLEASE…STOP!"

I scramble to my feet still feeling slightly drowsy from almost falling asleep when I finally make sense of the voice as I hear yet another yell of "NOOOOO" and I race towards Tobias's room without another second of hesitation.

As soon as I reach his room I faintly see him in bed through the shine of the hallway light moving frantically side to side as he battles whatever is the subject of his nightmare. My heart instantly clenches as I seen the pain etched on his face, as I move slowly towards him as to not startle him. I don't exactly know how to wake someone up from a nightmare but as his shouting turns into whispers as he pleas for whoever he is talking to, to stop I know I have to do something.

I make my way towards the bed and take a seat beside him as he continues to move erratically and it's only now that I see the beads of sweat pouring down his face.

"Tobias" I say softly whilst placing a gentle hand on his chest, directly over his heart and I can instantly feel his heart racing at an astonishing pace.

"Tobias" I say again, but this time a lot firmer.

"No, no, no…please not her" he says aloud almost begging and this time it feels as though my heart is breaking once again.

"Tobias" I shout, and after a few moments of silence he suddenly jolts upright eyes wide open and frantic as his breathing is noticeably short and shallow. He starts shaking as he desperately looks around the room until his eyes land on me and then he heaves a sigh of relief, "Tris" he whispers so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

"I'm here," I search for his hand in order to give him the physical affirmation that he is no longer in a nightmare but here with me, and as soon as his hand is mine his grip shows me just how frightened he really was.

"Hey" I say whilst reaching my other hand towards his face in order to bring his frantic eyes back to mine, "it's oka-"

"You…you were and Ruby was and…he was going to hurt you both…" his eyes continue to search mine and my face for any indication that his nightmare was real and I brush my thumb over his lips to keep him calm, "we're both okay Tobias, you kept us safe and we are here…always." I take the hand that is firmly in mine and relinquish it and I see a flash of pain across his face but before he can take his eyes off mine in rejection I re-take his hand and place it over my heart.

"You feel that?"

He nods

"I'm right here…an-"

"Why is it beating so fast?" _I didn't realise it was_

"Because I was worried about you" _half a lie, your hand is on my chest and my skin is on fire_

I'm not exactly sure what I said that was funny as his lips upturn slightly, "you're not a very good liar Tris"

"I was worried!"

He gives me another smile which doesn't quite reach his eyes before he leans back on the bed leaving me without his touch as he rubs his hands over his face in what I think is anguish.

I awkwardly stay where I am watching as Tobias recovers from his nightmare and I have a feeling he is slightly embarrassed with me knowing about it so I feel as though I should leave him to it. I slowly and quietly manoeuvre myself as to not alert him to my movement but just as I am about to get off the bed he speaks up, "Tris please…please stay."

The desperate nature of his voice causes me to stop dead in my tracks as I can't possibly turn him down when he is at his most vulnerable.

"Okay." I crawl back up the bed and lay on my side facing him, we are close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off him but not close enough that we are touching.

He moves off his back with a slight wince and turns to face me and his eyes find mine immediately and the intensity behind them takes my breath away.

Our eyes remain locked onto one another's and despite not wanting to ruin the moment I need to ask him a question which has been on my mind as soon as I realised he was having a nightmare.

"Do they happen often?" I ask cautiously and he shuts his eyes and clenches his jaw together in response.

"Yeah" he says with his eyes still closed. I remain silent while I process his revelation as I knew he was struggling and I should have been more approachable, maybe then he would have opened up to me and this wouldn't be happening.

"This is _not_ your fault Tris" at his words I realise I too had closed my eyes and as I open them I see him looking directly at me and it reminds me that he can read me only too well.

"I…I just hate that I'm the cause an-"

"You're not. My…they're always about Marcus and that _room_ he kept me in for the entire time. He tortures me and uses you and Ruby…to hurt me even more. I don't sleep much because of them but here I…I feel" he suddenly stops and it feels as though the wall which I'd been able to break through has been brought straight back up.

"Tobias, please let me in" I whisper softly to him as I shuffle ever so slightly closer to him. I can see the internal battle he is having and I don't want to continue pushing him in fear of never breaking down his walls so I simply stay right where I am, and hopefully he realises it means I am always going to be by his side. We remain as we are for quite some time and as hard as I try to fight it I can feel the wave of fatigue come over me as the days emotional rollercoaster takes its toll.

"I feel safe here."

My eyes shoot open at his words as the feeling of fatigue is put on the backburner as I stare at the man laid beside me. The hallway light continues to shine into the room which allows me to faintly see a tear fall from his eye but it's gone as quick as it came. It's a quick flash into his true emotions and it only causes tears of my own to fall which he doesn't hesitate in wiping away.

"I know I've said this before…but I never wanted to leave you Tris. I realise how deeply I hurt you and if…if I could turn back time I would make sure you knew. But it wouldn't change my decision to leave as I will _always_ choose to keep you and Ruby safe above all else."

I wish I knew how to respond but I'm utterly speechless, and now the tears won't stop flowing.

"Tobias" I manage to choke out, "I want…you to know I forgive you…and I understand why you did it. It hurt and it still hurts, but you're here now…and I don't want to push you away anymore" I say through my sniffles but just as the floodgate opened with tears I now can't stop my rambling.

"I don't want you to carry this burden anymore…we are both alive and well and we have the most _beautiful_ daughter. We both need to start looking forward not back."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't apologise Tobias. No more apologies" I say lightly, moving my hand back towards his face which he doesn't shy away from as he place his atop of mine before bringing it to his lips.

"You have no idea how I feel about you Tris-"

"I think I do…because I feel the same way" I whisper back just as thick with emotion.

We move closer together, more me than him as he is still in quite a bit of pain, and as we do I can feel my heart rate escalate at the thought of being in such close proximity to him.

The hand he has on mine moves to my waist with slight hesitation, "it's okay" I reaffirm to him. His hand, although placed over the top of my nightwear, sends a jolt of electricity right through me which stirs the desire in my core.

I'm close enough now that one small movement of my head will attach my lips to his and my tongue absentmindedly sweeps across my lips at the thought and I could have sworn I heard him moan in response.

 _'_ _You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of pure bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it'_

It's something my dad always use to say to Caleb and I whenever we said we were too afraid to do something he knew would be beneficial for the both of us, and I thank him for it now as 20 seconds of insane courage is exactly what I need right now.

"Tobias, I was so worried about you and I'm so thankful that you're going to be okay" I tell him whilst using my thumb to caress his cheek and taking a quick glance down at his lips, "I…I want you to know…I've never stopped loving you." With his attention on nothing but me I can feel his breathing increasing in anticipation… _or is that my own…_ and I feel a shiver straight down my spine at the way he is staring at me with nothing but love and desire and I know for sure that this is what I want.

I feel a small pull from his hand on my waist and I take the moment to graze my lips along his and the feeling is simply indescribable. It starts gentle and soft with neither of us wanting to make the other uncomfortable but after a few moments we both realise it is what we both want as we both relax into the kiss and the intensity increases as a result. It's not desperate or rushed despite us both being deprived of each other's lips for two years. We have each other memorised and it feels like I'm home again as his soft, tender lips continue to meet mine. After longer than I had expected I start to become breathless so I pull away slightly but I leave my hand threading through his hair at the nape of his neck.

"Wow" he exclaims, his voice deep and thick with lust.

"Yeah…wow." _It truly is all I can manage right now_

"I've _never_ stopped loving you either Tris." I move my head towards his chest at his words and I can feel his heart beating just as fast as mine, and as his hand moves from my waist to the small of my back I feel something I haven't felt since he left. Home. I feel at home and in peace in his embrace.

He kisses the top of my head before letting out a slow shaky breath as he whispers, "goodnight Tris…I love you." I would have responded but sleep was quick to wash over me as for the first time in two years I fell asleep in the safe and loving embrace that is Tobias Eaton.

 **Love a bit of FourTris! Would love to hear your thoughts as always, and hopefully I will be back with another update soon but I start uni again in a couple of days so updates may be a bit slower as a result. Hope you enjoyed it :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32 – Tobias**

I could have sworn the most amazing thing happened last night.

It must have been a dream. It had to be. There is no possible way that Tris came into my room last night and saved me from my nightmare. Or that we opened up to each other. Or that we shared an amazing kiss. Or that she fell asleep in my arms. There is just no chance I have that amount of luck. I don't want to open my eyes in fear of confirming my intuition right, or realise everything I thought I dreamt was in fact reality but Tris is no longer here with me.

I suppose it's like ripping off a band aid, at first it hurts but then you're relieved when it's over so I take a small breath, as to not agitate my ribs, and slowly open my eyes. I pray to myself to see her luscious blonde locks splayed across my pillows and as I open my eyes and look to my left, I have to adjust to the light shining through the half-length curtains but I'm not disappointed.

I can't help but smile as I glide my eyes along her sleeping form. She is cuddled close to me with her left hand lightly draped over my upper chest and it seems even when she's asleep she seems conscious of my injuries. Her lips are slightly parted and all the muscles in her face and body seem completely relaxed. Her only movement comes from the rising and falling of her chest with each intake of air, and she looks as beautiful now as ever and I can't stop staring at her as I take the time to soak her all in, reacquainting myself with every feature I have come to love. Her peaceful and serene form seems to make the world stand still.

I don't know how long I continue to stare, but I assume if I were out in public it would not be considered acceptable.

"It's rude to stare you know" she mumbles with her eyes closed, her voice thick with sleep, which effectively breaks me out of my trance.

"Uhhh…I…" I stutter, not really knowing how to explain myself.

I'm momentarily side-tracked as I notice her eyes flutter open, as she adjusts to the light she casts her eyes towards me and my breath catches in my throat as I see her blue eyes sparkle back at me with a noticeably cheeky shine.

I grin back at her as I move back onto my side so I can face her more easily, despite it being a more painful position. She pouts slightly as her arm falls from my chest so I gladly pick her hand back up and intertwine it with my own.

"Good morning."

"Morning" she grumbles as she closes her eyes again.

"I thought you told me Ruby got her morning grumpiness from me, but obviously it comes from you," and her eyes shoot open as quickly as they closed, no doubt ready to object to my claims. That is until she sees my grin and she backs down almost immediately, realising I'm only trying to wind her up.

"I've missed this" she says so softly I might have missed it had I not been so focused on her every movement and sound.

"Me too," I reply just as softly as I lightly trace circles on the palm of her hand with my thumb.

"That's the best sleep I've had in…since as long as I can remember"…' _since the last time I slept in your arms'_ is what I want to tell her, but we are trying to move past my almost two year absence so I suppose it's better left unsaid for now.

Hearing her say last night that she has forgiven me was something I've been longing to hear. Not for my own benefit but for hers. I don't want her carrying the weight of my decision on her shoulders any longer. I know she still hurts, she told me so herself, but time can heal all wounds and I hope she allows me to be around long enough to prove to her I will never hurt her again. It was my decision and mine alone, I know that's what hurts her the most, but I can and want to live with the pain for leaving her. I want to feel the pain because it reminds me to be better next time. Yes, it was the right decision because she is alive and well and so is Ruby but does that mean I still wish things could have been different? Absolutely.

"Hey…Tobia-"

"Huh"

"You okay? You seemed to be in a completely different world," she utters with worry clear in her voice.

"Yeah…sorry. Was just thinking"

"About…" she trails of, most likely hoping I'll open up to her.

"You…" I say as I bring her hand towards my lips, "just _you_ " I finish as I plant a number of kisses on the back of her hand. It wasn't entirely the truth nor was it a lie as she is pretty much always the centre of my thoughts.

She smiles shyly at me as she accepts my words and it only conjures up what I was feeling last night leading up to our kiss. The things this girl does to me is indescribable. She really is, as Zeke has always said, my kryptonite.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" she replies cautiously, almost sensing my nervousness.

"Can I…can I kiss you?" _please say yes…_ I see her noticeably hesitate, _oh no she's second guessing this…us._

"Tobias, you never have to ask me" she says trying to be serious but failing miserably and I can't fight the goofy smile which threatens to take over my face.

Without another moment of hesitation I lean towards her, not caring about morning breath or the searing pain radiating through my body at the movement, and seal my lips to hers. It's enough to remove any other thoughts I may have had as the feeling of her lips on mine simply wipe away everything else as I focus solely on her.

Just like last night her lips are soft and sweet against mine and I weave my hand through her hair pulling her closer to me. It's not a desperate or frantic kiss but one which personifies our feelings for one another. After the initial tenderness we both move to deepen the kiss and I can feel the heat between our lips and it causes a guttural moan to escape from deep within me. She starts tugging on the hair at the nape of my neck in response to my sounds of enjoyment, and just as I contemplate taking it a little further a loud cry springs us apart.

"Ruby" Tris says breathlessly as I crash my head back onto the pillow in mild frustration at the interruption.

"We'll finish this later" she teasingly says as she leaps out the bed, escaping my desperate grasp and

I shake my head and smile to myself in complete disbelief at how this morning has turned out.

I continue to let my mind wander for a few moments longer before deciding to get up and face the day, one I'm very much looking forward to. It's the first time the three of us will have quality family time which isn't marred with harboured anger or pain from either Tris or I. I almost want to jump out of bed but unfortunately that is not possible as it takes me a lot longer than anticipated to get out of bed as my muscles are sore and stiff from sleep, not to mention my injuries.

Once I get onto my feet and complete my morning routine I take my time walking, or really waddling, towards the kitchen where I hear Ruby and Tris's giggles ring out through the house, broadening my smile even further than I ever thought was possible.

"Dada, dada" Ruby calls out as soon as she sees me round the corner into the kitchen. Her arms outstretched in her high chair and her face covered in the morning's breakfast. I quickly look over at Tris who has all but given up trying to get her to continue eating as her attention is clearly not on her anymore.

I flash her a quick smile before moving closer to Ruby who is getting frustrated at my inability to move any faster.

"Good morning cutie…I would ask for a kiss but I'm not sure if I fancy…" I take a closer inspection of her plate "…hand mashed toast and eggs with a side of orange juice." I scrunch my face together in disgust and turn to Tris who simply shrugs her shoulders.

"She insists on feeding herself."

I let out a small chuckle, "I'm not sure that's what you can call it, it's more like just smashing it all into her face."

"I suppose you're right" she adds, joining me in laughing at our daughter's table etiquette. I give Ruby a quick kiss on the top of her head and make my way to Tris who is now leaning against one of the kitchen counters. I plant my hands on either side of her and lean in, close enough that I can hear her breath hitch in her throat as she lifts her head and locks her eyes on mine.

In the light of the morning I can see her eyes as clear as day and they speak louder than any words could. They're filled with something I haven't seen since I got back, hope and light. They shine with renewed energy and it ignites something deep within me.

She's it. She's the one for me. It's not that I've ever doubted it, but here in this moment with our daughter just behind me I realise this is what I want to wake up to every morning. I know we only really got back on track last night but it's never been about time for us. It was an instant connection when we first met, one where you felt you had known them for years when it had only been a few weeks. It doesn't mean it doesn't scare the shit out of me as I know I don't deserve her but I only hope through my actions she will come to see that I meant every word last night, that I do love her and that nothing will ever stop me from protecting my girls.

"Tobias…"

"Mmmm," it's all I can manage with all the thoughts that are swirling around my mind.

"Food for thought?"

"Sorry…you've just got me thinking, again" her eyebrows quirk up in response as she silently questions me.

"You just…" I shake my head as I can't quite manage to formulate the words I want, and it doesn't help when she wraps her arms around my neck.

"It's okay…you'll have ample time to tell me what's on your mind." She says it with zero hesitation that all I can think is that it promises a future, and that's all I need to hear.

She suddenly leans up on her tip toes and places a soft lingering kiss on the corner of my mouth, but before she can step away Ruby screeches "NOOOO." We both spring apart and turn to look at her and she's frowning at us both.

"Iah kiss mama."

My eyebrows furrow as I try to take in the implications of my daughter's words, and then they hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Tobias, she doesn't kno-"

"No…no I know. I'm just going to go sit down..."

Once I'm finally seated in the living room I realise Tris has followed me in and I cover my face with my hands as I don't want her to see how much Ruby's words affected me. I'm not mad at anyone but myself as Ruby should have only known one man with her mum, and I know it must be confusing for her.

"Don't beat yourself up…" I feel her presence hovering around me but I still keep my face hidden, "I thought we talked about this. She's not even two years old, she's not going to remember who was here when she was this young. But she _will_ remember who's there as she grows up and that will be you. Uriah…he was great with her and she saw us kissing yes"… _yep just put that image in my head, thanks Tris…_ "but he's not her dad and he's not who I _want_ to be kissing."

I hear what she's saying but it's just taking a while to sink into my stubborn brain, but just as I'm about to pry my hands away from my face I hear her retreating steps. A sinking feeling settles in my gut as my inability to face things pushes her away once again, and if it weren't for my injuries I'm sure I would be on my way to exert some physical punishment on myself.

I'm not sure how long I sit alone on the couch battling every thought I have of Uriah and Tris, and how I always seem to screw things up when I feel the soft touch of two small hands on my knees. "Dada?" she says in a voice too small for the exuberant Ruby I've come to know. I tilt my head down off the top of the couch and see her little face bright up under my gaze.

"Hello my little princess, want to sit with da…" I'm suddenly distracted as I see a flash of movement behind her and I sweep my gaze up to see Tris leaning against the door frame, expression unreadable. I flash her an apologetic smile and mouth 'sorry', the few seconds in which I wait for a response feel like the longest of my life. It's only when she walks towards us and returns the gesture that I feel the knots in my stomach dissolve.

"Thought this morning was going too well" she says light-heartedly.

"I'm an idiot. I was just picturing you and…" she nods at my hesitation, understanding whom I'm talking about "it threw me. I didn't mean to react so childishly…and you missy" I say to Ruby who is now sat between Tris and me, "you better get used to me kissing your mummy missy…that's if she's okay with that?" I add hesitantly.

"Of course she is" she says alluringly. At her response I can't help but lean in closer to try and steal a kiss, with Ruby staring up at us I'm anxious for her reaction but a loud knock on the door interrupts us. We both chuckle at the interruption as it seems to be a common feature every time we move in for a kiss. Before either one of us can even contemplate answering the door a loud voice echoes through the house, "don't worry I'll just let myself in!" Christina.

 **This chapter seemed to come a lot easier than the last few so I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it.**

 **To every person who reviews and favourites and follows, thank you so much. I would love to single you all out and say thank you, the response has been far greater than I ever expected! I will try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible**


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33 - Tris**

"So you think now that he's been in an accident he's a different person! One who won't run away or hurt you?"

"You have no idea-"

"No Tris, he left you without a second thought…how can you just let him waltz back in here and pretend nothing's changed?" Her stance is firm as she stares intently at me with her arms crossed. I know she's trying to protect me but her ever changing opinion on Tobias is sending my head in a tail spin. One moment she's encouraging me to work things out and the next she wants nothing more than to see me push him away for good.

"I've got you thinking haven't I?"

"No Christina…I understand what you're saying but I've forgiven him and-"

"So that's it, you couldn't do it for Caleb but with Tobias you've just made the decision to simply move on and jump into bed with him"

My jaw drops and I stand frozen in shock as her words hurt me more than I'd expected. I shake my head side to side as I feel the anger building within me, and I feel I could explode at any moment.

I try and move past her swipe at Caleb and I's relationship and take a deep breath and compose myself as I'm conscious of the fact that Tobias and Ruby are both still in the house, Tobias no doubt still able to hear what's been said from wherever he took Ruby when Christina only acknowledged him with what I can only describe as a look which could kill.

"We talked and I _need_ to move on from it…" I see her about to interrupt me so I instantly put my hand up "it doesn't mean I won't forget…it hurts and you of _all_ people know that but he's here now and we're trying to work things out."

It almost feels liberating to say that aloud but just when I think Christina is softening towards my stance I am made aware of her trademark glare, which is nothing short of menacing and it's directed solely towards me.

"He broke you and I was left to pick up the pieces after _he_ just walked out on you. Yes, it was very noble of him to protect you, but he wasn't here when you needed him the most and you may be able to forgive that…but I can't." She pauses, letting her words hang in the air before she softly adds, "he doesn't deserve you Tris…"

I'm simply at a loss for words at my best friend's admission. I know she was impacted by Tobias leaving just as much as I was but hearing what she had to say rips open a number of wounds I thought had healed. I try and distract my mind momentarily by staring at the unwashed dishes and the spaghetti bolognaise left overs which I got out for dinner, just anything but her. I try and maintain my avoidance of the issues at hand but I'm broken out of it as I feel tears tracking down my cheeks, and it brings my gaze back to Christina where I see her just as raw with emotion. It brings it home just how deeply one decision that Tobias made two years ago has affected the both of us. There's no doubt it drew us closer together, but at what cost.

"Tris, I just don't want you to get hurt again…there's more at stake now." I don't miss her subtle reference to Ruby, not that I needed the reminder as the moment she was born my priorities changed.

"I know, but this time…this time it feels different. I'm not going to rush into anything Christina as we still have a lot to work through, but him being here is something I never thought would ever happen again and I'm not going to let him just walk away again without trying to make it work." She exhales loudly at my words, obviously realising that my mind is made up.

"You know I'm only trying to look out for you"

"I know" I manage to choke out through the emotion which has seems to have a stronghold on my vocal chords.

"Well I'm not entirely happy about this whole situation…obviously, but permission to kick him where it hurts if he does anything to mess this up?"

I can't help but smile at her efforts to lighten the mood as despite how strong she feels about this she is still prepared, at the end of it all, to support me.

"Permission granted."

I know this isn't the end of this discussion as she will constantly be on the lookout for any mistake Tobias makes and hopefully that day never comes, but none of us are perfect. I hope he proves her wrong, it will require constant work from both of us, but I am determined to make it work so we can be the family I always wished we could be. I'm still away with my thoughts when I feel her arms wind around my waist and pull me tight.

"You're practically my sister Tris and I never want to see you hurt because of _him_ ever again. I know how deeply you feel for him so I'll try and keep my thoughts to myself, can't promise anything though…" I laugh quietly at her admission, "…but I want you to know I have nothing against Four, just his stupid decisions, but if he makes you happy…well that's all I want for you. You deserve someone who loves you and Ruby unconditionally and I see for you, there's no one else. I'll always support you Tris, I might not agree with you…but I will _always_ be in your corner."

I don't have any words so I do the only thing which will show my appreciation and that is to hold her a little closer and a little tighter so she knows just how much her words mean to me. We stay in our embrace for a considerable amount of time simply letting each other know how much we care for one another before a pair of smaller arms wind around my legs and the sound of heavy footsteps slowly making their way down the hall. I turn to allow Ruby into our embrace and as I do I see Tobias standing in the door way with an awkward expression. I return a look questioning his demeanour and he gestures towards Christina and I and then Ruby, and I realise he feels as though he allowed Ruby to interrupt. I mouth 'it's okay' to him in the hope he understands that it's not a big deal but I know he's feeling a little on edge with Christina here as he rubs the back of his neck nervously as she is yet to realise his presence. That doesn't last long as she moves her attention from Ruby to where he is stood and I feel my chest constrict with nervous anticipation as despite her earlier words I'm not sure how she will react not that she is face to face with Tobias.

"Four" she says rather firmly, which doesn't ease the worry which has settled in my gut.

"Christina" he replies with his Four mask now firmly in place.

I know Ruby can feel the tension in the room as she is trying to get anyone and everyone's attention by doing her best dance moves in-between the three of us and if the situation wasn't as tense I would most certainly laugh.

"Glad to see you're okay"

I'm surprised at her words and so is Tobias as I see his Four mask slip ever so slightly which I doubt Christina noticed,

"Thank you…ummm and I just want to say I'm not going to ever hurt Tris again and you can most certainly kick me where it hurts if I do, not that I ever will because-"

"Four," she interjects his rambling which brings me to the realisation that he did manage to hear our conversation and as a look of realisation crosses my face he too recognises he let it slip that he overheard and his face slowly turns red as a result.

"You know eavesdropping isn't the best quality to have…"

"Christina" I say disbelievingly realising this was going a little too well.

"No Tris it's okay" Tobias directs towards me before casting his attention over to Christina, "I wasn't intentionally trying to listen in on your conversation it's just you weren't exactly that quiet and the walls aren't very thick…"

I don't really care that he overheard because he should be aware of how hard this was not just for me but everyone else too. His actions created a ripple effect through our entire friendship circle and Christina's experience is just one of many.

"Right…well I'll let you know I meant every word I said so don't screw this up" she points to both Ruby and I before continuing, "they're special and deserve nothing but the best…so I'm happy you're okay and back on your feet, but just remember how lucky you are to have them." Her tone doesn't leave much room for discussion as she says her goodbyes to Ruby before giving me another hug whispering in my ear, "make him earn you again Tris" before giving Tobias another stern look as she walks out, leaving both Tobias and I stood stunned in the kitchen as though a tornado has just rolled through.

It takes a few more moments before Ruby manages to break both of us out of the trance Christina left us in with her unique dance moves. She lives to put a smile on everyone's face and as she turns to look at me I'm taken aback by her piercing blue eyes which had always struck a familiar pang of heartache, but now as I see the person in which she inherited them from stood only a few meters away from me I am filled with nothing but hope and _love._

He flashes a sincere smile towards me before moving his gaze back to Ruby as she calls out "dada, dada, up" whilst holding her arms up towards him.

…..

After we'd both recovered from Christina's visit we decided to play anything and everything Ruby wanted. It involved hide and seek, which she is completely oblivious to the hide aspect of the game as she does nothing but giggle which of course gives away her location, but Tobias and I both ensured she thought she was impossible to find. We also enjoyed being frogs as we leaped across lily pads, which in actual fact were cushions splayed across the living room floor and it wasn't something Tobias could participate in to the fullest but we enjoyed it all the same. I laughed harder than I have in a long time and after we both realised Ruby was fighting back sleep we knew play time was over and it was time for a nap.

"She's out like a light" he tells me as he slowly and tentatively takes a seat beside me on the couch.

"You feeling okay? We didn't wear you out too much did we?" I ask with genuine concern.

"No I'm alright, just a little sore is all"

I know straight away he isn't telling me exactly how much pain he's in but I know he's just trying to shield it from me so I let it slide this time.

"I don't think I'll ever escape the wrath of Christina" he calmly remarks in what I assume is to change the subject, but I'm surprised by his choice.

"No…probably not"

"She's right you know"

I raise my eyebrows in confusion at his words,

"You're special and you deserve only the best…and I'm going to prove to you that I'm the one to treat you how you deserve and show you just how amazing you are…I have _a lot_ of making up to do but I'm willing to do everything I can, if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah…I'd like that" I say as I move closer and give him a quick, but tender kiss. His goofy smile is the only response I need as I settle closely to him.

"I…I don't want to overstep my boundaries but I overheard Christina mention Caleb, and I know before I left you never really heard from him-"

"Tobias" I interject as I move away from him slightly so we can be face to face, "you're not overstepping, it's just ever since Ruby was born I feel he should be making more of an effort to see her. He's the only family I have, and I know he's still grieving but surely he'd want to see us. It's just hard to forgive you know…" I try and keep my emotions in check but the tears start to flow despite my best efforts.

"Tris c'mere" he says with his arms outstretched.

We stay nestled in our embrace for a considerable amount of time in silence, no words needed to be spoken as being together is all we need. Our moment however is broken when in walks Ruby, and I do a double take as I am sure Tobias said he put her down for a nap. I feel Tobias become still and tense and as I turn towards him still in shock I see his eyes wide and a look of trepidation across his features.

"Tobias…how is Ruby stood in front of us right now?" I ask, shock still firmly in place.

"Uhhhh…I…I don't know" he says with what I know is a lie and I give him the look which shows exactly that as I pick Ruby up and place her on my lap.

"How'd you get out of your crib little one?" I ask but all she does is nestle closely into my chest which allows me to turn my attention back onto Tobias.

He seems to be in deep thought and I clear my throat to let him know I'm waiting on an answer and without looking at me he speaks so fast I have to pay close attention, "okay, okay when she was at my place before the accident she had managed to climb out her crib and I didn't want to tell you because I thought you'd think badly of me…and I didn't want you to have any more ammunition so I just thought it was a one off…but obviously not."

He looks visibly upset but I can't help the small laugh which escapes from within me, "it's okay…it happens and I understand why you chose not to tell me but Tobias, you can tell me anything. Especially when it involves Ruby. But as long as she is okay, which she is, then we just think of a solution. Okay?"

"Okay" he replies, looking considerably more relaxed than he was a few moments ago.

"And you missy are cheeky, you're supposed to call out for me not climb out yourself" I say to Ruby as I tickle her at her sides and she shrieks with laughter.

We spent the rest of the day simply being together and relaxing as I knew Tobias was in a lot of pain, so we ended up watching a number of Ruby's many favourite Disney movies and the entire time I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. We're not perfect as Christina so kindly mentioned earlier, but having Ruby in between us and his arm tucked around my waist was my vision of perfect as the family I had made was together, just like we should have been all along.

With Ruby worn out from the day it doesn't take long for us to get her settled in her crib, which I'm quite worried about now in case the next time she does it she hurts herself so I make sure the baby monitor is as close to her as possible so I'll be able to hear any movement in the morning.

"Goodnight my angel" I whisper soothingly to her as I give her a final kiss and walk out of her room allowing Tobias to say his own goodnight to her.

I'm busy getting myself ready for bed when I hear a soft knock on my bedroom door and as I move towards it I catch sight of Tobias stood awkwardly in the threshold.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah…I just wanted to say goodnight, so err goodnight." He doesn't leave me with any chance to reply as he spins around and shuffles back down the hall, visibly in a bit of pain.

"Tobias" I call out to him just as he is about to leave my line of vision and I don't even realise what I'm going to say until I hear it emerge, "you can sleep with me if you want…well not _sleep_ with me but next to me…" I almost want to smack myself at how nervous and stupid I sound, and his blank stare only causes my heart to lurch into my throat at his possible rejection.

"Sure" he replies as his lips upturn slightly, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I spin around and settle myself on my side of the bed.

It's takes a few more moments before Tobias manages to settle alongside me and for the second night in a row I find myself falling asleep safely nestled in his embrace. It feels like we've never been apart and as I feel the slow rise and fall of his chest I feel myself being slowly lulled to sleep, "goodnight Tobias…"

"goodnight Tris" I hear him say before I drift into another peaceful, blissful sleep with him by my side.

 **Sorry for the long wait, it's just been a hectic time with uni and personal issues so my mind wasn't exactly in the right place to write. It's my longest chapter yet so I hope you enjoyed it and hope you are all well! Would love to hear your thoughts :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34 - Tobias**

"How's everything going?"

I pause for a moment and ponder, not because I need to think of how to answer as things couldn't be better but because the smile which has spread over my face makes it hard to speak.

"Really well" I say still trying to hide how happy I truly am, but obviously not very well

"You look it man if _that_ goofy smile is anything to go by."

I give him a sheepish look and nod at his words, almost lost in my own thoughts at just how surreal these past few weeks have been. Since I was discharged from the hospital I have spent every night at Tris's, and not one where I fell asleep without her safe and comforting embrace. Being able to fall asleep and wake up with her by my side makes it all feel like a dream as I truly believed I would never have the opportunity to do so again.

We spent the majority of my recovery time spending it together as a family and if it were not for the fact the Tris had to go back to work I would have loved to have stayed locked away in our own little bubble away from the real world. Being able to tuck Ruby into bed at night and see her moments after I wake up was what I really treasured as to say I knew nothing of her existence before I came back I'm still surprised at how natural it feels to be her dad. It was something I always feared as I never wanted to be like Marcus, but if anything he has taught me how _not_ to be a father. She's a dream come true of a dream I never knew I had, and it's her second birthday in just over a week and I'm determined not to miss another milestone or second of her life.

My recovery has moved along very nicely and my ribs and head are almost back to one hundred percent, but the only worry I have now is that before I had a reason to be staying with Tris, but now that I'm almost back to full health I feel as though that bubble that I have so desperately tried to keep us in just might pop. That thought alone is enough to bring me back to the present where I see Zeke waving his hand in front of my face,

"Dude…where did you just go for the last five minutes!" he gives me a knowing look and continues, "you are so whipped my friend…so whipped" he taunts at me.

"Like you can talk" I quip back at him, but before we can break out into a battle Ruby enters the room and immediately captures my attention.

"Hello my little princess" I say to her, ignoring Zeke snicker behind me, as I hoist her up onto my hip. "I think someone is a little tired, ready for a nap?" I ask her as she rubs her eyes and yawns but shakes her head at me anyways.

"Well I think you mean yes missy," I look back up at Zeke "I'm just going to put her down for a nap" I tell him as I make my way to Ruby's room.

Since Ruby has made it clear that she could escape from her crib we decided that she needed, what we called, a 'big girls' bed. We've had it for a little over a week now but the change has not been as smooth as Tris and I would have liked. We thought she'd love the idea, especially considering it is a bright pink bed which we decorated with her most cherished characters from the movie Frozen, but it seems not as she finds any excuse in the book not to go to sleep. And just when we think we've finally put her down for the night she will come straight out insisting she's not tired, or she needs a drink or to go to the toilet. I didn't think almost two year olds were so mischievous and defiant but Ruby has definitely opened my eyes and I hate to think what the terrible twos will actually have in store for us.

"Are you going to have a nap without fighting me on it?" I ask her with a high pitched voice, which seems to come a lot more naturally these days but she surprises me as she nods at my words before crawling into bed and cuddling closely with her stuffed Zebra which I gave her a few months ago.

I'm busy tucking her in when I hear her say, "wuv you dada" and I swear my heart stops as a flurry of emotions surge through my veins and overwhelm me, and as I look over at her she's already got her eyes closed. As I hear her breathing even out I lean closer to give her a soft kiss on her forehead, "I love you too Ruby…more than you'll ever know."

"She ok?" Zeke asks as I make my way back into the living room and join him on the couch.

"Yeah…" I reply still in a daze from Ruby's words, "…she must have been tired, she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow…if only that could happen every night."

"Why, is it stopping you from having a little _adult_ time?" he says with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows and it earns him a slap across the chest.

"You're not funny" I tell him seriously but he simply laughs like a teenager at my response.

"I'm sorry man, you just make it too easy…" he manages to speak through his laughter "…we haven't spoken in a while so what's the go between you and Tris?" he asks, this time with no detectable sense of humour in his tone.

"I…I don't know to be honest."

"C'mon Four open up a little, I won't tease I promise"

I don't really know if I believe his promise but as hard as it is for me to talk openly I know I need to voice something to someone, "I'm really not sure what to say…we're good, like _really_ good and that's what worries me. It feels like we've picked back up from where we left off but it all feels too good to be true, like something is just bound to tear us apart again and…I can't lose her again Zeke."

I don't look at him because I don't want him to see how sensitive this topic is for me but the way his hand gently slaps my back I realise he knows me all too well.

"I don't really know what advice to give you other than just take it one day at a time. It's clear to me and…well _everyone_ just how much you two love each other so don't let the fear of what might be influence you or hold you back. Show her every day that you choose her and Ruby. You'll be okay…and you can always come back and live with Shauna and me if not." There it is, I knew he couldn't go a whole minute without cracking a joke. "And be the third wheel again…no thanks" I retort back in order to appease and acknowledge his attempt at humour.

"I meant what I said though…you and Tris are meant to be so try not to stress. Talk to her about it if that'll help, you know get on the same page and all that jazz."

I nod my head at him as his advice is oddly…good.

"Thanks Zeke"

"Anytime my friend…anytime"

We fall into a comfortable silence as I mull over his words. I suppose he's right talking to Tris is my best bet as I need to lay everything on the line and just put it out there. I'm not usually the one for that but if it means getting to spend the rest of my life waking up and going to sleep with her beside me then that's absolutely what I will do. Being away for almost two years changed me, and I know it changed Tris too and I know we're in that 'honeymoon' stage again but we still have a lot to work on and work out.

"Everything with you and Shauna okay?" I ask, finally realising this whole conversation has been about me.

"Yeah we're good man, nothing new with us really…Oh hey I know you're trying to move the conversation onto me so what are you doing about your job?"

That's a good question, one which has been on my mind for a while now.

"Ummm…that's a good question and one I don't currently have an answer for. I really like the job but this whole Nita situation isn't worth it. I can't go back if she's there, she already put a wedge between Tris and I and I'm not going to knowingly let it happen again."

"Riiiight, well it sounds like you've already made a decision," he looks at me seriously and shrugs his shoulders as if he's just cracked the Da Vinci Code.

"Yeah I guess you're right. I just want to put everything behind me and start again so if I have to quit my job so I can do that, then I will."

I run my fingers through my hair trying to relieve some of the stress and tension which never seems to be too far away, "why does Nita always have to ruin everythin-"

"What's she done now?" a more feminine and familiar voice interjects, causing me to look up immediately.

"Hey" I say shyly, never breaking eye contact

"Hi" she replies just as softly causing me to forget about everything that we had been talking about as my focus lies solely on her.

Zeke's voice breaks me from my focus moments later as he retorts at both of us, "you two are the epitome of teenage lovers… _gross,_ " I hear Tris giggle from where she's standing in the threshold and it makes my heart flutter, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing her laugh.

"Well I'm going to take this as my cue to leave s-"

"Sorry Zeke" Tris interjects, "but before you go I just wanted to let you know we're having Ruby's birthday party the weekend after next so we would love if you and Shauna could come."

 _Well that's news to me…_ I give her a questionable look but before she can give me any response her attention is brought back to Zeke, "we would love to, but I'm still going to leave so you guys can," he puckers his lips and makes a loud kissing noise "…so good seeing you both" he practically races out of the room as though Tris and I are going to attack each other with kisses.

"I'm not sure how he and I are friends…" I say as I hear the front door close. I don't receive a response as she starts making her way towards my still seated position on the couch, and before I can formulate any coherent thought she's already straddling me.

I'm still surprised by her actions but I find my arms winding around her waist and pulling her closer on their own accord.

"I saw you managed to get Ruby to sleep in her bed…good job" she says with a proud smile etched on her face, I'm about to reply when she places her finger over my lips, "so you going to tell me what Nita has done now" she whispers softly as she fiddles with the hem of my shirt, her eyes never leaving mine.

It's hard to concentrate when I feel her soft fingers lightly tracing the skin just above my waistband, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

I take a slow shaky breath to try and compose myself, "she…she hasn't done anything it's just I don't think I can go back to work if she's still there. I don't want _anything_ to do with her so I'd rather quit than go back." I see a flash of something I can't quite put my finger on in her eyes, but I liken it to something of approval. "I'll look for another jo-" I'm interrupted by her lips firmly placed on mine and I simply melt into her touch. Our lips mould together in perfect harmony and I know we were made for each other. I move to deepen the kiss and as our tongues meet and battle for dominance I can't help the deep growl which slips from my lips at her touch. I feel her lips raise into a smile in reaction and it does nothing but spur me on. We continue for a few more moments but I don't want to take it beyond the point of no return so I regretfully pull away slightly and I feel her tugging at the hairs on the nape of my neck in protest. We stay close together, not touching but sharing the same air.

We stay like that for quite some time before she slowly moves back and searches my eyes, for what I don't know but after a few moments she seems to have found what she was looking for as I see her lips upturn and tears slowly build in her eyes, "I…I love you Tobias." My heart lunges out of my chest at her unexpected words. For the second time today the two girls who I place above all else have spoken the three words and eight letters which I have longed to hear. I nuzzle closer to her and tell her with a shaky voice, "I love you too Tris…so so much."

 **I'm terrible, sorry for the wait! Uni has just been piling on the work so that's taken most of my time and focus so updates will probably be more sporadic, but there will probably only be a handful more updates for this story. Oh and over 300 reviews! What? Thank you guys, I swear I only said 200 like last week so wow. Hope you enjoyed this one :)**


	35. Chapter 35

**Okay so wanted to point out a bit of a timeline error, in chapter 15 I wrote Ruby was born on May 11** **th** **but it was supposed to be November 11** **th** **. Also sorry for my late update, but without further ado…**

 **Chapter 35 – Tris**

This past week, and well the weeks in which Tobias has been here have been nothing short of amazing. I feel as though I am in an alternate universe where everything is as I dreamt it would be. We are a family, Tobias, Ruby and I. Never did I think I'd get to say that. I constantly feel like a teenage girl fawning over her crush and any smile or words he directs towards me makes my knees weak and my face to flush red. It feels like an entirely new relationship but with the comfortableness and familiarity that our past provides. I know Christina thinks I'm moving way too fast, and despite her acceptance of my decision to pursue a relationship with Tobias I feel as though she is always on the edge of her seat waiting for something bad to happen. I can't blame her really, she saw the very worst of the devastation his departure left behind, but I just hope Tobias proves her wrong. It does make me cautious and I'm trying not to put all my eggs in one basket, per say, but it is hard when you feel so deeply for someone. I so desperately just want to move on from that event but it sticks around like a bad stench that no matter what I try I can't seem to get rid of it.

I've been having all these thoughts flowing in my mind as I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. I shift my head to the side and see his tousled brown hair and five o'clock shadow which makes me shake my head in disbelief at how this gorgeous man has chosen me. It defies logic that a man with his Greek God like physique would choose me, a scrawny short girl with little to no curves. It does make me question what drew him to me in the first place…

"Morning" a deep grumble reverberates from beside me, instantly making me aware of the fact that I've just been starring at him for who knows how long.

"Morning" I return with a slightly embarrassed tone, feeling the heat flushing to my cheeks in the process.

He slowly turns to face me more comfortably, as he was straining his neck a little to see me, and lifts the corners of his mouth, giving me a lopsided grin which makes me smile back in response.

"What ya been thinking about?" he questions as he reaches over to smooth my slightly furrowed brow.

"Just going through a mental checklist for Ruby's party." It's not a complete lie as I had been mulling over every detail for Ruby's party before my thoughts turned to him, as they almost always do these days.

His hand finds its way behind my ear as he glides his thumb soothingly across my cheek, almost trying to detect if I'm telling the truth.

"I can't believe she's two" he states with obvious disbelief.

"Neither can I…it seems like only yesterday I was giving birth and," just as I'm about to continue I see him wince at my words. There it is. Always creeping its way back into the forefront of our minds, teasing us and watching us squirm.

"Tobias…don't" I say firmly as to not let this ruin yet another moment and another day.

I see his eyes swirl with emotion as he internally battles with whether or not to let this go. I know he tortures himself with what he did, just as I know every moment that's mentioned in which he wasn't here for he beats himself up for it. Selfishly it shows me that he does harbour regret about it all but a much larger part of me hates to see him in pain.

"Just…just tell me about it" he says weakly.

"About what…her birth?" I ask, to which he nods with his eyes firmly locked onto mine. His stare is intense and unwavering as he awaits my response.

I have told him a little about the time and date she was born on one of the first occasions we met up after he got back but I didn't tell him all the details. "Well it was long!" I emphasise with a quiet laugh, "16 hours to be exact." His eyes widen at my revelation. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It felt as though it was never going to end and the pain was unbearable. She didn't make it easy for me that's for sure, stubborn since day dot." That makes him smile softly, but I can still see the pain in his eyes.

"November 11th, 3:42am" I say quietly as I think back to that day

"You…you weren't alone though right?"

"No" I say with absolute certainty. "Auntie Christina was there every step of the way. Every doctor's appointment and whenever cravings came calling she was there, and of course on the day. I couldn't have got through it if it weren't for her, but the moment Ruby came out it was simply indescribable. She had a good set of lungs on her but…she looked exactly like you Tobias."

His eyes move away from mine for a brief moment, "I'm sorry I wasn't there Tris…you know I would have been there in a heartbeat had I been able to."

"I know Tobias, as I've said before you don't need to apologise…we've been through this before. I would have loved you there too but you'll just have to make it up another time."

The words slip out with ease. I just proposed a future in which another child could be a part of the equation and I don't feel any ounce of trepidation, only optimism.

"I would _love_ to make it up another time" he answers with eagerness and hint of suggestion which has us both smiling like idiots.

"Come here" he says as he takes his hand off my face and lifts up the bed covers inviting me closer, I don't hesitate as I place my head on his chest with my arm over his waist as his slides around me and nestles at the small of my back. The sounds of his heartbeat and the way his chest rises and falls soothes me in a way nothing else can and I breathe in his smell, male and distinct is the only way I know how to describe it. It's simply Tobias.

I pepper kisses across his chest as he traces the outline of my spine, causing my breath to hitch in my throat at his soft, tender touch. We've been a little less afraid of physical contact recently but we haven't gone any further than just that. It's been difficult but I really want to take things slow and mend our relationship, as being physical with one another can complicate things and I just want to be sure we are heading in the right direction.

I lift my head so my chin is on his chest, providing me with a clearer view of his handsome face which I always seem to stare at for longer than is considered normal.

"Today is going to be one _hell_ of a day" I say with a slight sigh as just thinking about hosting a party has my anxiety levels rising.

"Yeah…but you have me to help and lean on" he says as he flashes me a heart stopping smile and that's all the invitation I need as I lean up towards him and plant my lips on his. It's a soft, tender kiss but it still has the feeling of overwhelming passion and love and just as his hand moves up my back I seize the moment to roll out of his grasp and out of bed. The look on his face is one of pure disappointment as he stares at me wide eyed with his jaw dropped, I really didn't want to leave his warm and comfortable embrace but, "we have to get up and wake our birthday girl" I tell him. He groans in jest before he too rolls out of bed.

I wait by the bedroom door as he puts a top on, I don't know how he isn't cold in this weather without one, not that I'm complaining. "Your dressing gown is simply…stunning Tris,"

"Oh shut up" I retort back as he is clearly making fun of my bright fury pink gown which is at least two sizes too big for me.

"What" he says as with an innocent expression, but I know he's putting on an act and that's confirmed when he grins at me and before I have the chance to move he has his arms wrapped around me causing a loud squeal to escape.

"Tobias" I squeal out as he tries to tickle me, "stop…please"

"Alright, all you had to do was ask" he says nonchalantly as he looks down at me with a cheeky glint in his eye. This carefree Tobias I have seen these past few weeks have been the happiest I have seen him in a long time and I'm happy he's chosen to let his guard down around me again.

He leans down towards me which breaks me out of my train of thought, I close my eyes in anticipation for his lips to be on mine and when nothing happens I open them again only to see Tobias staring at me with a big smile. I pout at him and all he does is laugh, "Tobias" I say frustratingly as he winks at me before walking out of the room calling out "payback" as he goes.

I shake my head at his playfulness and follow after him so I can be there for when our baby girl wakes up as a two year old for the first time.

When I walk into the room I see him standing over her 'big girl' bed which she is slowly but surely starting to stay in when we put her down. I move closer to him and as I take my place beside him he puts his arm around me and pulls me nearer. "This is the only part of the day when she's quiet" he whispers causing me to giggle, "that is very true. She's sleeps like you" I point out as her mouth is slightly open and her arm is draped over her forehead. "But I look _much_ cuter" he says as a matter of fact, "debatable."

We stand there for a little while longer just enjoying our last moments of peace before the chaos kicks in.

"Alright, I think it's time we wake our birthday girl" I tell him as I kneel down to Ruby's level and rub her back, trying to wake her up as gently as possible. I see her eyelids flutter from my touch and I whisper, "happy birthday Ruby" as she stirs. I know it takes her a little while to wake up properly so I wait for her to be alert and when I see her deep blue eyes I am transported momentarily back to the moment she was born and I saw them for the first time. It was as though all the air had been knocked out of me when I saw Tobias' eyes staring back at me. It was though her eyes were always a reminder of the emptiness in my heart that he left behind, but now…now they're a warm reminder of the man who brings me happiness and how lucky I am to have her as our physical representation of our love.

"Happy birthday Ruby," Tobias says from behind me which results in a wide smile from our girl as she holds up two fingers with a big smile. "Clever girl, let's get you some birthday breakfast."

…..

The party is in full swing now, and by full swing I mean our rambunctious friends making a mess of the place as they chase Ruby around the house. She has them all wrapped around her little finger, none more so than Tobias, but who can blame him as it is nearly impossible to say no to her when she looks up at you with those deep blue eyes.

She has a decent sized present pile too which was contributed by a handful of the kids from Ruby's playschool I invited, which Ruby was surprised and excited about when she saw them arrive, but they left a short while ago after it was starting to get a little late. Part of the reason is I have been holding off on doing the cake because not everyone is here, Zeke and Shauna, Christina and Will, Lynn and Marlene are but there's no sign of Uriah. I had messaged him over a week ago inviting him and he told me he would come and I'm desperately holding onto the hope he does show up as he played a big role in Ruby's life and I want him here to celebrate. I know the atmosphere may be a bit more awkward than what it is now if he does come, but I hope everyone is grown up enough to let it go. Tobias is trying to ignore the jabs the girls direct his way and I know he's really trying to not let it affect Ruby's' day but I only hope if Uriah shows up that it doesn't change.

I'm standing in the threshold of the living room watching all our friends interacting and playing with Ruby and seeing her face light up with all the attention and love she is receiving, it makes my heart burst with joy. With my parents no longer here and Caleb being MIA they are my family, different to what I had ever imagined one to be, but a family which is there for me no matter what.

"Hey" a deep voice says from behind me, causing me to jump slightly.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Tobias.

"It's alright" I say as I lean back into him as his arms wrap around my waist and I intertwine my fingers with his, just wanting to be close to him.

"They spoil her too much" he says right next to my ear, his hot breath leaving a trail of goosebumps which leaves me speechless so all I do is nod mechanically.

We continue to watch as Ruby leads everyone in her version of Simon says, which is quite comical but very cute and not suprisingly Zeke seems to be taking it very seriously.

"We going to do the cake soon?" Tobias asks,

"Yeah, I was just waiting fo-"

"IAH, IAH," Ruby finishes my sentence for me as she sets off in his direction which is the opposite entrance to the living room.

I expect Tobias to be a little adverse to his presence but he surprises me when he moves from behind me and heads in his direction where Uriah now has Ruby settled on his hip. I don't have to look to know that the rest of the room is also following this interaction, it shouldn't be such a big deal but with everything that's happened I suppose everyone wants to see how they both react. It's gone so quiet that it's caught both of their attentions, "if you're all going to sit and watch I'd like an admission fee please" Uriah says which eases the tension in the room and causes us all to laugh. Despite my interest in seeing how their interaction plays out I turn towards the group and see Christina who has her eyes locked on mine and she raises her eyebrows up at me in what I think is in surprise at the pair of them. I shrug my shoulders and head into the kitchen to get Ruby's Frozen themed cake ready, knowing she's going to follow me in.

"So that was unexpected," just as I thought, I knew she'd want the lowdown.

"What was?" I ask feigning ignorance as I start placing candles in Ruby's cake.

"Oh don't give me that, did you invite him?"

"Yes, he helped out a lot with her so of course I invited hi-"

"Did Tobias know?" she asks making me feel like I'm in some sort of an interrogation.

"Christina, stop trying to make drama where there is none. Regardless of Uriah's and Tobias's relationship this day is about Ruby and she would have wanted him here so he's here. End of."

I turn to see her with a wide smile and it's fair to say I am extremely confused.

"Just wanted to see you fire up" she says so casually that it makes me feel like I'm the weird one.

"Well could you not" I say with a small confused laugh as I turn back to finish off the cake.

"I'll make sure everyone is ready" she tells me as she leaves the kitchen.

I've just set the last candle on fire and I take a quick quiet moment to think of how far I've come these last two years with Ruby. I didn't ever think I'd be a single mother, and thankfully it wasn't for long, but it taught me to be strong and independent more than anything else has. It was hard and I did lean on people like Christina and Uriah but these two years have honestly been both the best and worst of my life, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

As I pick up the cake and make my way into the living room I see the faces of those who I would do anything for, but when my eyes land on a certain pair of people I can't help but tear up. The sight of Ruby in her dads' arms as he sings her happy birthday with gusto is something I will never forget. As I finally reach them I see Ruby's face light up with delight as she sees the cake and I wish her a happy birthday and tell her to make a wish, but as I do I realise mine has already come true.

I look up at Tobias whose eyes are watering just like mine and say, "I love you Tobias."

 **Again apologies for such a long wait, it's just Uni work is kicking my butt but hope you enjoyed it!**


	36. Chapter 36

**I am sooooo sorry for how long this has taken me to update, I hate how long it has taken and I only have uni to blame but your reviews have kept me going! There's only a few chapters left now…**

 **Chapter 36 – Tobias**

"It's a secret remember, you can't tell anyone"

"Mummy?"

"Especially not mummy" I tell Ruby as I take her out of her car booster seat. I probably shouldn't tell a two year old to keep a secret as it's virtually impossible for them to do, but hopefully she won't say anything before I am ready.

I place her softly on the ground and take her hand in mine as we walk towards the front door and as her hand clutches tightly onto mine I have a hard time believing how lucky I am. Ruby turned two a couple of weeks ago now and as I've quit my job I am spending all my time with her, and it's simply the greatest thing ever. I get to see her grow day by day and see her face light up in amazement as she learns something new and take on more and more characteristics of the woman I love. She really is a mini Tris as she chews up her bottom lip when she's a little apprehensive, is fiery like her and won't let anyone tell her what to do. It makes me laugh and my heart burst simultaneously, and I dread to think of never knowing her if Amar hadn't saved me.

"Dada" Ruby calls out and I realise her hand is no longer in my grasp but pointing impatiently at the door handle waiting to go inside. I'm surprised I didn't notice but I rush to the door and open it before we freeze in what is a cold and blistering day.

"Mama, mama" Ruby yells with no volume control as she races through the house trailing mud and water as she goes.

I shout out her name, trying to reign in her before she completely messes up the house or tries to tell Tris what we were doing. I really shouldn't have included her as part of the secret, but I wanted her to be there so she could be a part of it.

I take of my boots and hang up my jacked when I hear the giggles of both of my girls, instantly bringing a smile to my face. I quietly follow the noise and arrive at the doorway of Tris and I…Tris's room, and see Tris trying to chase Ruby around the room as she playfully scolds her for messing up the house. I stand and watch what, to me, is an all too familiar occurrence within this house, and that's Ruby getting away with anything as she has got both of under her thumb. It's almost like a movie that I never want to end but as Tris falls over and Ruby pounces on top of her I can't help but stare at the way Tris's face lights up in joy and how she's so carefree as our daughter attempts to tickle her. I'm admiring all too much as I find myself staring at a small area of exposed skin just above her waistline, my face almost certainly flushes a deep shade of red at the thoughts and feelings running through my body.

I'm trying to compose myself when I hear someone clearing their throat and as I cast my eyes towards the noise I make eye contact with Tris and realise she has caught me. I expect her to move her eyes away from mine in embarrassment as she realised where my thoughts were heading but she surprises me as she maintains eye contact, and if I'm not mistaken I swear her eyes glaze over with something akin to…lust? If I couldn't control myself before, I almost certainly can't now and I have to regretfully drag my eyes away from her before I am tempted to take action, which Ruby definitely should not bear witness to.

We still haven't gone any further than making out with a little fooling around and each time it's getting harder and harder to stop. She has an effect on me that no one else ever has, or will, and I don't know how much longer I can wait to feel her…

"Tobias"

"Huh" I return as I try and get my flustered thoughts into order.

"You're a little warm, are you alright?" she asks after her soft hand comes into contact with my forehead, I sense a hint of suggestion as she knows the exact cause of my rise in temperature.

"Mmmmhmmm" I mumble out as I look down at her beautiful, yet cheeky expression and without thought I lean down to place my lips on hers and just as I feel hers brush against mine she backs away and winks at me as she moves to take advantage of Ruby's lack of concentration. I give her my best possible pout as she carries a giggling Ruby out the room, "you're going to have to pout better than that Eaton."

"Just you wait Prior" I call out after her, both us knowing that's an empty threat as I don't think I could ever withhold affection from her, not matter how hard I tired.

….

I've just put Ruby down for the night and thankfully she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, exhausted from our day of activities and secrets. I could have easily joined her as she has well and truly worn me out today, I really don't know where or how she stores all her energy, just when you think she's done for the day she comes back for round two. As the morning was spent with just Ruby and I whilst Tris was at work it was a perfect opportunity to have some father/daughter bonding time, and then we were able to have family time when we got home. It's what I call a perfect day. Years ago my perfect day would have been escaping the wrath of Marcus, or simply having moments of without the thought of what is the point and my purpose. In some ways those moments feel like only yesterday, but now my thoughts can't be further from them.

"Ouch" I exclaim as I feel something hard hit my head, breaking me out of any thoughts I was having.

"Sorry!" I hear her before I see her, laughing at my expense.

As she walks into the room I give her my best scowl and throw, what I see now is one of Ruby's teddy's, straight back at her. It hits her square in the face and now it's my turn to laugh as she clearly wasn't expecting it.

"Hey!" she says with a small pout, bringing out a small grin on my face.

"You're going to have to pout better than that Prior" I say teasingly, repeating her words from earlier.

She cracks a small smile before walking towards me, "has some of Ruby's cheekiness rubbed off on you?" she questions as she crawls on the bed beside me.

"Quite possibly" I reply softly as I turn towards her, more consumed by how close she is to me than anything else. My breaths become more uneven as her scent flows past me, I inhale deeply wanting to absorb everything that is Tris. I don't seem to have control of my body as my hands act on their own accord, stroking through her hair as I pull her even closer to me.

"I missed you this morning" she whispers softly, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand at attention as she gently rests the palm of her hand on my right cheek.

"We missed you too" I tell her with a deep voice, our proximity causing desire to stir within me.

"What did you get up to?" she asks as she glides her fingers through my hair, making it incredibly hard to even conjure up an answer.

"Just fun stuff…" I trail off as I slide my fingers over her soft lips, imagining what they would be like placed on mine.

She peppers my fingers with soft kisses and she manages to shuffle even closer to me where our bodies are firmly pressed together, leaving me with no place to hide my attraction for her.

I'm taken aback when she doesn't make mention of my obvious sign of desire but says, "Tobias…kiss me," with no hint of uncertainty.

I don't want to assume that she wants to go any further than kissing but I desperately hope she does as I want to show her how much she means to me, but I won't pressure her either way.

Without another moment of hesitation I plant my lips on hers, pouring everything I feel for her into it. She moans into my mouth, allowing my hands to roam freely over her as she pulls me towards her deepening the kiss as she does. We pull apart slowly to take in air, our foreheads never leaving one another's. "I…I _want_ you" she says quietly, but I can still hear how nervous she is and I don't want her to think she has to do anything she doesn't want to. "Tris…we don't…it's okay" I manage to say, still feeling the effects of the electric kiss we just shared.

I see her take in my words, chewing on her bottom lip as she does, surprising me suddenly when she pushes me onto my back and straddles me with a renewed look of confidence. I'm blinded by her beauty as her blonde hair cascades down shoulder as she flips it to the side, causing my breaths to become short and ragged with each passing second. I can't take my eyes off her, roaming over every part of her as I reacquaint myself with every inch of her body before she grabs a hold of my face causing my eyes to lock directly into hers.

"I'm scared…" I make a movement to interrupt but she shakes her head at me, "but I want this…I just I-"

This time I can't help myself, I have to interrupt her scattered thoughts, "you don't want to get hurt." I say it with certainty as I know how much this means to her and she confirms my suspicion by nodding shyly, she doesn't sleep with just anybody and I need her to know I'm in this forever.

It hurts to know I've made her feel this way as I never wanted her to feel an ounce of pain, but knowing I was the one who inflicted unimaginable pain upon her is something I will never forget, but something I will try every day to make up for.

"I'm not going to hurt you _ever_ again Tris, I promise you every day I will do nothing but show you just how much you are loved and cherished. You're the one for me…you always have been and I will stop at nothing to protect you. We don't have to do this now, I will wait…I'll always wait for you because you are more than worth it."

My hands are placed firmly on her hips as she places her hand over my heart, no doubt feeling its rapid pace. She slowly glides her hands down my chest until they rest on the hem of my t-shirt, teasingly sliding her fingers across my bare skin sending jolts of electricity through my entire body.

"I love you Tris" I say with a voice thick with emotion. She lowers her head towards me and gently places her lips on mine, it's a soft slow kiss which holds all our feelings for each other. As her lips move away from mine I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her again, already missing the way they feel against mine.

"I love you too Tobias…now just show me how much you do." It brings an instant goofy smile to spread across my face, challenge accepted.

I surrender myself to her touch and pour my love and over two years' worth of yearning and desire for her into a night we will not forget.

I am hers, and she is mine. Always has been and always will be.

 **I hope you enjoyed this! Again I am sorry for such a long wait, definitely didn't expect to go this long without updating but there's probably only two chapters left. Hopefully will be back with the next update quicker than this one, let me know your thoughts :)**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37 – Tris**

 _"_ _I'm not going to hurt you ever again Tris, I promise you every day I will do nothing but show you just how much you are loved and cherished. You're the one for me…"_ Those words. _His_ words have done nothing but replay through my mind time and time again since last week when all our barriers were finally removed. I feel heat rising through every pore, reaching the core of my very being even just thinking about it. He made me feel like the only woman in the world, and a number of replays have only served to cement that in my mind.

He's always had the power to make me believe I am beautiful and powerful, and I find it hard to believe that it took me so long to realise just how much he positively impacts my life. I suppose after almost two years of being apart I felt I could live without him, that I didn't need him to feel whole, but the truth is I have never been happier. It is a far cry from only a few months ago where I couldn't see the possibility of us ever getting back together, or being the family I always dreamt we would be.

Before my thoughts start to move any deeper I will my eyes to open, despite how I'd rather stay snuggled in bed for the rest of the day. As my eyes adjust to the light I see the faint body shape of the man who has just been the centre of my thoughts and a smile instantly rises on my face, as there aren't a lot of things that could be better to wake up to. He's lying on his chest, head still facing me with our legs remaining tangled together from a little extra-curricular activity that may have happened last night. With that thought running through my mind my hands instinctively make their way to his bare back, tracing the indents of his scars which may have previously represented the pain of his past but now represent only his strength. He has endured more than any human should and as my fingers move further down his back and find their way towards the tattoo he has running down the length of his spine, extending out to fill most of his back, I can't help but hope that only happiness comes his way and I am part of it.

As I trace his back, still _familiarising_ myself with him after a couple years of absence, I recall how he's added to his tattoo throughout the years, small additions here and there which show his triumphs and serve as a 'up yours' to the scars which were left by a particular person I no longer care to recall by name. I quickly shake any thought attaching itself to that person and a soft smile is brought to my face as I trace over his tattoo of a phoenix rising from the ashes, which now covers the majority of his back, as I recall how he kept saying how cliché it was and that it was stupid when he first showed me. But he and I both know it is a perfect representation of his story and I know he does not regret a single drop of ink which is on his skin, as he is definitely someone who mulls things over and doesn't make decisions lightly.

"Your fingers are cold," an all too familiar voice mumbles suddenly causing me to jump slightly.

"Sorry" I whisper whilst quickly retracting my fingers from his back, pursing my lips in embarrassment.

"I didn't say I wasn't enjoying it" he says as his eyes flutter open, his gaze on me intense and I find myself not being able to look away. I don't know how long we continue to gaze into one another's eyes, it's not an electrically charged stare but one where it feels like we can have an entire conversation with no words.

"What a beautiful way to wake up" he states out of the blue, with a lopsided grin gracing his features as he shuffles his head closer to me.

"Naa uhh" I call out whilst shaking my head and moving away from his advances, "morning breath."

"Didn't seem to mind yesterday" he quips back, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows at me, causing my face to flush red instantly.

I reach out and shove him slightly and he laughs, a deep rumble which shakes the bed and leaves me staring in wonder at him as I am momentarily rejoice at the sound. In my lapse of concentration I suddenly feel warmth spread through me from the contact point of my lips and I suddenly become aware of the fact that Tobias has got his wish and as I feel his lips on mine… _screw morning breath._ I just start reciprocating when he pulls away with a mischievous glint in his eye, no doubt revelling in the fact he got his wish, whilst I stare at him mouth agape desperately hoping for more. 

"Ruby is probably awake"

"Tobias" I whine at him quietly, squirming at the effect he has caused to my body as I pout at him.

"Now I know where Ruby gets it from…that's a very special skill you have" he says as he drags his forefinger across my bottom lip. We sit in silence for a few moments before he speaks up, "as much as I would love to stay in bed with you all day, Ruby and I have some Christmas shopping to do-"

"Again!" I exclaim in shock, "how many people are you buying gifts for because this is the fourth time in two weeks you've been Christmas shopping." It's a valid question because for as long as I have known him he has insisted that he is an efficient shopper who only needs to go once, unlike me.

For a moment I could have sworn I saw a flicker of panic in his eyes at my questioning before his stare turned blank, causing my eyebrow to upturn in response. I know he has Ruby keeping a secret as I've caught them out a couple of times conspiring together and whenever I ask her about it she simply puts her hand over her mouth and quietly utters "it's a secret." Causing me to laugh and be intrigued simultaneously.

"It's just an extra special Christmas" he says quietly, reaching out to cradle my face.

"Dada, dada, dada," a voice I am all too familiar with screeches as she barges into our room, my name no longer as special as her dads.

"Good morning my princess" he says sweetly as he hoists her up onto the bed, safely nestled between us and straight away I am thankful for the fact I put my top on through the night.

I watch the pair of them greet each other as though they haven't seen one another in weeks and it makes my heart swell in both love and pride.

"Hi mama," she says suddenly as though only just registering my presence.

"Hey baby girl," I say as I sweep her hair away from her face so I can see her deep blue eyes stare back at me. "You going shopping with daddy today?" I question knowingly, and from my peripheral vision I see Tobias stare daggers at me knowing my intentions, and I have to consciously withhold the grin threatening to break out.

I redirect my attention back to Ruby who is nodding at my question excitedly and looks to Tobias, "she know?" she questions in a whisper, which…well really is not even close to a whisper.

"No, mummy doesn't know" he says while casting his eyes towards me as Ruby slaps her hands over her mouth as to not divulge any more information.

"Mmmmm" I hum with a small grin, "well mummy is very excited for Christmas if all these shopping trips are anything to go by."

….

"Christina! I'm not going to snoop" I say incredulously.

"What…you're going to find out what it is on the day, so what is the harm in a knowing a few days early?" she says with a casual shrug of the shoulders.

"You've had a look haven't you?" Her quick eye movement away from me answers my question and all I can do is shake my head at her in jest.

"I didn't find anything thing though," she says with a bit of disappointment threaded through her voice, "knowing Will he's probably leaving it till Christmas Eve…apparently unlike a certain someone," raising her eyebrows up at me.

I look away from her, hiding my face so she can't see it flushing red at just the mention of Tobias. I still can't get over the fact that it still feels as though we have only just got together for the first time, and that any mention of him sends my heart fluttering, providing a perfect platform for all my friends to tease me.

"Cat got your tongue?" I hear ask teasingly from her position on the opposing sofa, which only serves to embarrass me further.

"Chris" I plead to her as the feeling of her eyes boring in to me start to make me squirm.

"Gosh…you're too easy to wind up my friend, which is surprising because I have a feeling you've been unwinding with someone on numerous occasions this past week" she adds quickly, not being able to hold back her laughter any longer. _Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse._

"Why is my love life of so much interest?" I question, slowly moving my eyes back in her direction to gage her response.

"Honestly?"

I nod earnestly.

"Well you're both so… _stiff_ , for lack of a better word, about it and we like to see you both squirm." I give her the best glare I can muster, but her thoughts seem to be elsewhere.

"Plus…it's something we couldn't joke about before," I lower my head slightly knowing exactly what she is referring too, "…and knowing how happy and settled you are now just makes every little step forward so exciting. I _know_ I was not on the Four bandwagon at the start…or the middle…" she seems to lose track momentarily before snapping back into it, "or for any time at all really, but you sitting here now with that giant smile permanently plastered on your face just proves how wrong I was." I hadn't realised I was smiling that much bu- "Tris, you're my best friend and I want nothing but to see you happy, and when I get those cute family selfies of the three of you together that you send me I know you are. I hadn't realised it, but despite how much you were hurting when he first came back, he ignited something within you straight away and we got back the Tris we had always known. I don't know what it is about him that causes that, whether it is his abnormal charm which no one else falls for…or voodoo magic but whatever it is I hope he keeps it coming because this," she gestures to my smile, "is something I will never tire of seeing."

 _Wow._ That's all I can think. The amount of serious conversations we have had recently should have prepared me but her words seem to have hit me and it is a little overwhelming. Tears seem to fall before I even have time to realise it, and Christina is immediately on hand with some tissues.

"I don't know why I am crying" I say whilst laughing and dabbing my eyes.

"Maybe you needed someone to confirm what you have been feeling inside all along."

I look at her in disbelief, not knowing how she suddenly became so wise about my feelings, but I suppose that is how I know she is truly my best friend.

I gather my emotions and collect my thoughts, "I think you might be right. It's as though I didn't believe I could be this happy, and now that I am I question it at every turn."

"Well girl you need to just let yourself be happy. You deserve nothing less…let's just hug it out" she says, and before I even have the opportunity to reply I am enveloped in her arms. It's a long, loving embrace which makes me so thankful for having a friend like her as she may have disagreed with my decision to be with Tobias at the start, but she refused to let that affect our friendship or ignore that fact that he makes me happy beyond belief.

"You've got me really curious about what Four and Ruby are up too for your Christmas gift" she says softly, breaking the silence, our arms still around each other.

"You have no idea how intrigued I am, it can't be anything big because there is no way Ruby could keep it secret."

"Well luckily there are only a few days left until you find out."

 **Okay so I am sooooooooo sorry again for how late this is! But despite how much I hate having left it for so long I can't guarantee when my next update will be, however I really hope you enjoyed this one! Love to hear all you thoughts, and if I don't update before Christmas I hope you all have a fantastic day!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Okay I cannot believe how long I have left this! I am so sorry! With the holidays, uni and life in general I just haven't found the time but I hope you enjoy this chapter. There will be one more chapter of this story and I am hoping to get that finished within two weeks. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 38 – Tobias**

I quietly make my way through the dark hallway into the kitchen, careful not to wake Tris or Ruby. I haven't been able to sleep much recently so I went to the gym to burn off some energy after we put Ruby to bed, and I came home to find Tris asleep on the couch with the TV still blaring. Admittedly I took a minute, or five, to appreciate the sight. It wasn't long ago that the vision of Tris was restricted to my dreams and imagination and the fact I get to go to fall asleep and wake up with her is simply mind boggling. I still can't quite grasp how lucky I am, or the fact she chose to give me another chance…my self-deprecation still ever so present.

After appreciating her sleeping form I lifted her as gently as I could and walked with her in my arms, bridle style, and settled her on the bed with a soft kiss to her forehead before I got in the shower.

The hot water pounding and cascading down my back managed to ease the tension and the muscle ache already starting to set in after the pounding I inflicted on myself. I can't quite pin point exactly what has wound me up, but it most likely has something to do with Christmas and Tris.

I try and shake those thoughts from my head for the time being and continue towards the kitchen in desperate need for a drink. I grab the orange juice out of the fridge door and as no one is around to tell me off I take a swig straight out of the bottle and it hits just the spot. I make a movement to take another sip when I feel a pair of arms slide around my back, forcing a sharp intake of breath when her hands ride dangerously close to the hem of the towel, the only thing keeping me from being naked.

"Don't think I didn't see you drinking straight from the bottle mister" her sleepy voice mumbles into my back. I slowly lower the bottle as she starts to pepper my back with kisses, afraid I'll drop it if she keeps it up. I clear my throat, trying to activate my vocal chords,

"I thought you were asleep?"

"I was…until I caught sight of a tall, handsome man draped in only a towel walk through the bedroom"

"Mmmm, maybe we should call the cops…I don't think that's normal"

She lets out a little giggle and it does nothing but speed up my heart which is already at maximum capacity. The things this woman does to me.

"Naaa…I quite like the sight"

I smile at her words, "so as long as they look good anyone can walk around here almost naked?" I question her teasingly.

"Pretty much…although there's only one man I _love_ seeing like that" she squeezes me gently when she says love, and again I can't help but think she'll be the death of me.

Not able to withstand another second of not seeing her face I put the bottle…somewhere and spin around in her arms and I'm instantly greeted by her beautiful face and her lively eyes, which contrast the state of exhaustion I know she is feeling, and no amount of time could erase her from my memory.

Her hands glide from my back, over my abdomen and chest until they are draped around my neck, tingles of pleasure following in the wake of her touch. Every part of my brain disengages and all I can think about is feeling her and being present in this moment. I press my lips to hers and although it's only been a few hours since they were last in contact it's still a few hours too long and I think Tris agrees as she whimpers as I pull her closer to me.

Reluctantly I have to pull away to catch a breath and I nip at her ear, "have I ever told you how amazing you are" I say slightly out of breath. I feel her head shake and I immediately pull back to look at her intently and I am greeted by a cheeky glint in her eyes and a matching grin. "You're…such…a….tease" I say in between the kisses I place up and down her neck, unexpectedly to both her and I, I hoist her up and she squeals as I place her on the counter opposite the fridge where her legs instinctively wrap around me. I continue my assault on her neck as she tilts her head to the side to provide me with greater access as she rakes her fingers through my hair. "Tobias…I…I…love you" she breaths out and I stop what I am doing to look at her, she pouts at my withdrawal but I gently press my lips against hers to make up for it.

"I love you too Tris…so much." Our eyes don't leave one another's until I hear a noise from outside and instinctively I take off in the direction of the window to check it out, and as I move to turn around I feel the fabric of the towel being pulled away from me, leaving me stark naked. My jaw drops and my eyes seek her out in the dark of the kitchen as all I can hear is her giggles bouncing off the walls.

"Really Tris?" I question feigning annoyance. At my words she suddenly appears from behind the countertops with my towel hanging from her forefinger and giggles still escaping from her mouth.

"Missing something?"

"Very funny" I retort as I move around the kitchen to get to her. It's a classic game of cat and mouse, however her speed and agility will not come in handy as the kitchen is not big enough so I can easily take her in my reach. And that's exactly what I do. When I have contact with her I pull her towards me in a vice grip, not too tight, but tight enough so she can't wriggle free.

"Didn't think you'd get away with it did you? I whisper in her ear from behind as she tries to escape my grasp.

"Maybe, maybe not…but I did get my wish"

Wish? In my confusion I release my hold on her and she turns to face me, "and what was that exactly" I ask with curiosity.

"To get you naked as it'll help with what I want to do next" she says suggestively as she trails her finger down my chest and saunters out of the kitchen leaving me stood firmly in place with nothing but my own skin and bones…until I chase after her like a bee to honey.

…..

"You think she'll like it?" I question with obvious apprehension.

"Like it? Dude she will love it!"

"You don't think it's too much?"

He hesitates for longer than I deem necessary, "well…you've certainly out done yourself…and everyone else."

I rake my fingers through my hair, seriously starting to reconsider the decision I have made. It's the day before Christmas Eve and I don't have time to back out now but I suppose I don't have to show Tris, and therefore what she doesn't know won't hu-

"Don't." Zeke says firmly as he places his hand on my shoulder. "It's a big step, but you've obviously made the decision for a reason so don't start second guessing yourself now. You've both come along way…and what is the worst that can happen?...She can only say no."

I scoff at his words and mumble, "that _is_ the worst that can happen Zeke." Or she could call things off completely…

I start pacing, ignoring the amused look Zeke currently has plastered on his face. I can't help but doubt what Zeke has said but I suppose I should accept it as I did ask. I can't help that my mind can only conjure the worst possible scenarios, a far cry from when I first thought of doing this for Christmas. "You're going to ruin the floorboards and burn a hole into the ground if you keep going." I turn my glare back onto him as he raises his hands in the air with a coy smile now etched across his stupid face. I seriously question how we became friends at times like these.

"C'mon man, you're going to give yourself skin failure," not even a second passes before he starts laughing uncontrollably at his own words, and I can only shake my head at his blatant reference to The Simpsons. "You have too much spare time" I tell him as I walk past his crouched form in desperate need for some fresh air.

I knew this was not going to be an average Christmas gift, it comes with a lot of adjusting and it is a step I definitely want to take, I'm just not sure if it is too soon or I made the wrong choice. I should have asked Tris for her opinion, this is definitely something she'd want to be involved in. Oh God I'm so stupid! I can't believe I've made this life changing decision without her, she is definitely-

"going to love it" says that voice I just want to escape from. "I can read your thoughts like an open book. Look, you're jumping into conclusions which haven't even happened yet. Are you really questioning whether or not she'll like it, or afraid of the possible repercussions?" I groan in frustration as he tries to unpick why I am suddenly questioning everything I have been planning for over a month.

"I…I just don't want her to think I'm trying to push her into anything. Or that it means she has to say yes. What if she likes where she is now, where we are now?" I rub my face before looking directly at Zeke, "I can't sleep because of it, I just want a fresh start with her and Ruby, I can't take back what has happened but I can try and show her I'm in it forever."

I hear his feet shuffle towards me as he places a gentle touch on my left shoulder, "she loves you. You, no one else. For everything you two have endured she wouldn't be with you now making it work if she didn't want it to." He huffs before continuing, "you two question everything about your relationship, you love her and she loves you. It is clear as day to everyone, even people who have never met you two could see that you're made for each other. Stop thinking about everything that could go wrong and start thinking of all the possibilities of what this means, for you, Tris and Ruby…Now if you don't mind I think we should call it a day because this has drained me of all my emotional vulnerability and I need to save some for Shauna tonight." I screw my face up at the thought but I do give him a small smile of appreciation for the words prior to his admission of what he plans on doing tonight.

"Don't give _me_ that look my friend, I know you and Tris have been making up for lost time" he says giving me a wink and walking back to his car. Usually I would be embarrassed by his words but it only makes me smile as I remember the events of last night.

 **Tris POV**

Tobias is out again, this time he told me he is hanging out with Zeke and it raises my suspicion as to what they are up to as he was very coy when he left. However his absence and Ruby taking a nap gives me time to wrap his Christmas presents, which I found almost impossible to buy as he kept saying he didn't want anything. I think he thought not asking for anything was being unselfish, however it is selfish to deprive me of buying him something, especially considering he's been out multiple times to buy something for me. I tried to be as thoughtful as I could but buying something for someone who doesn't want anything is virtually impossible, a stark contrast to our daughter who wants everything under the sun.

That is one thing I have treasured this year, which is being able to go Christmas shopping with Tobias for Ruby. I thought I was bad last year in wanting to spoil her with anything and everything but in comparison to Tobias, I was merely scratching the surface. I had to reign in him otherwise we would have ended up with Toys R Us overrunning our house, I even thought at one point I'd have to drag him out of the store kicking and screaming before he put anymore in the trolley.

It just cements to me that this Christmas will be special, as ever since my parents passed and Caleb wasn't Caleb anymore, Christmas just hasn't felt the same. When Ruby came along it did provide that special feeling but something was always missing, and now that part has been found. Now we are a family, Tobias, Ruby and I and it feels complete, along with the excitement and wonder that this magical time is known to bring. I know Tobias has never really liked this time of the year, I suppose it all changed for him when his mum passed away as Marcus would hardly have made the effort for him. It upsets me knowing he lost that part of his life and almost had it taken away from him again because of Marcus, I just hope being with Ruby and I will make this time of year a special one for him, where we can all start to make new memories and traditions.

Usually the days before Christmas I like to stay at home and relax but tonight we are heading over to Shauna and Zeke's for a Christmas party as we will all be busy doing our own things on the day. I am looking forward to it as we will all be together, I just hope I don't have to do too much because I'm exhausted.

One thing I know I am really looking forward to is our secret Santa, I drew out Shauna and straight away I knew what to get…as she voiced it aloud that whoever got her had to buy her a bath hamper so she had a reason to leave Zeke on night. I had to laugh at her reasoning, but I know better than to ignore her wishes.

"Tris…Tris." I stop what I'm doing as I hear my name being called out and quickly realise its Tobias and I still have his gifts strewn all over the bedroom floor, my thoughts have obviously kept me occupied and time has flown by.

"Umm…give me a second!" I shout back rather flustered.

I hastily gather everything together and shove them inside my suitcase which resides on the floor of the wardrobe, I only just manage to lock it before I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in"

"Hey" he says with a small smile, but I can see his eyes tell a different story. I walk over to him, questioning him with my eyes as I move closer. "What's up?" I question as I take his hands in mine, looking up at him.

"Nothing," I raise my eyebrows up at his response as I can tell something is not right, "just tired" he says with a shrug of his shoulders. I can believe he's tired but I know he isn't telling me something. "You look lovely," I look down at my attire and question how grey sweatpants and an old baggy jumper could look appealing and I think the look on my face says it all as he says, "no matter what you wear you are always beautiful." He says it with such sincerity that I can't help but believe his words, but then I realise he almost…almost was able to catch me off guard and change the subject. "Oi, don't think I don't realise what you're trying to do with old subject change trick...so are you going to tell me what's wrong or are you going to keep me guessing?"

"It's nothing, honestly. Just a lot on my mind…but I am _very_ happy to see you and don't doubt my words, you look exceptional."

I mull it over for a few moments and decide to leave it at that because whatever is on his mind he obviously doesn't want to talk about, but I do reward his kind words with a quick tender kiss.

Looking at my watch I suddenly realise how much time has passed, "well I hadn't realised how much time had gone by, so why don't you get ready for tonight whilst I get Ruby ready and then you can watch her when it's my turn."

"Sounds like a plan," he kisses me quickly before making his way to the bathroom flaunting his bottom as he goes, knowing I can't help but admire.

….

I can't tear my eyes away from Tobias as he walks from the back of the car towards me in his black button up shirt and dark jeans where he is holding Ruby tightly by his side, I thought he alone was attractive beyond belief but add him carrying our child and my ovaries are exploding. His smirk only serves to increase the fluttering spreading like wild fire through my body.

"You ready?"

I can only nod and take the free hand he is offering as we make our way towards Zeke and Shauna's front door.

We walk through the front door and realise we are the last ones to arrive, and immediately they make us aware that they have all been waiting on us for the secret Santa. I don't know if we were late or everyone is just super impatient. But either way they're not going to wait any longer as they take the presents out of my hands and start handing out them all out. It's not the relaxing start to the night I was after, but once Tobias makes some room on a couch for us I feel slightly more settled.

"You alright?" he whispers gently.

"Yeah, they just caught me off guard…don't think I've quite woken up ye-"

"Tris!" Christina so kindly interrupts as she throws a present at me, narrowly missing Ruby who has settled between Tobias and I, I give her a deserved glare in which she obviously tries to ignore. Presents continue to fly across the room under the strict instruction that we must wait and open them all together.

Once everyone has their gift, some clearly wrapped better than others, Zeke shouts out that everyone can now open them and with Ruby's help I start ripping at the paper. The sound within the room gets louder by the second as everyone starts sharing what they got and trying to identify who it was from, whereas I am getting redder by the second at what I have just unveiled in my lap.

"Tris, what did you get?" an expectant Zeke asks and I am extremely reluctant to answer as embarrassment floods through me. I can't quite make eye contact with anyone but I am extremely curious as to who gave this to me, but before I can avoid this situation all together Ruby ever so kindly takes it from my lap and kindly waves it about for all to see. Initially everyone is quiet but then Will and Zeke start laughing and the rest follow suit, "a pregnancy test" Zeke manages to say through his laughter. I cast my eyes slowly up to Tobias and see he is already looking my way. He looks slightly red himself but he also adorns a soft, genuine smile which makes my heart flutter and butterflies to stir within me.

"Now I _have_ to know who Tris's secret Santa is," Christina declares as she gives me a half sympathetic and a half amused look. I cast my eyes around the room, silently questioning who would have done it. Based on their reactions I don't believe it was Will, Christina or Zeke and I'm not sure Uriah would go there just yet. So that leaves Shauna, Lynn or Marlene and out of those three I know only one which would not give a thought about anyone else's reaction but mine, and when I make eye contact I just know. I narrow my eyes at her and all I receive is a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders and a devlish grin. I don't voice my confirmation as it will keep them guessing and frustrated for the rest of the night, or forever if they don't figure it out.

"It was Lynn wasn't it?" Tobias whispers right next to my ear. I give him a small nod in confirmation, "well for what it's worth I will be there on the day we use it…or you really" I smile at his correction, "and when we see a positive sign I will be there every step of the way."

His words ignite something deep within me and as I look from him to Ruby and back to him, I can't hold back my grin, "I would love that" I say as I move closer to give him a tender kiss which confirms how happy I am at the idea.

 **Thanks again for all the kind words, favourites and follows, it means a great deal. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it took way too long but I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what you think and I will be back shortly with the last chapter!**

 **For the guest reviewer who asked if I could do a separate M chapter, I think it's a great idea but I really don't think I'd do it any justice at all! I'm not great at writing in that level of detail and I'll leave it up to all of your imaginations as to what they get up to..**


	39. Chapter 39

**Here it is, the final chapter! It took a little longer than I had planned but I wanted it to be the best it could be and that takes time and it is the longest chapter I have written…but without any more delays, I hope you enjoy.**

 **Chapter 39 – Tris**

"Sana…Sana" Ruby screams as she runs through the house holding a small Santa plush toy with a giant smile plastered on her face. I'm not sure if she totally understands what happens on Christmas but we just finished watching Mickey's once upon a Christmas, something which became a tradition for me, Caleb and my parents every Christmas Eve, so I hope she enjoyed it as much as me as well as understanding something about Christmas. But I suppose from her current level of excitement she understands she will be spoilt tomorrow.

I snuggle closer to Tobias and he holds me tighter in response,

"She's crazy" he says as laughter rumbles through him, "I wonder where she got that from."

"Oi, I am perfectly sane" I say as I whip around to face him, "and I'll have you know I was a perfect child."

"Now _that_ is hard to believe" he quips in return as I stare back at him in mock shock. He smiles at me, his eyes wide and alert and a mischievous grin proudly on show, and if he did this whilst I was standing up I'm sure I would have fallen flat on my face because he honestly makes my knees weak with such minimal effort.

"You alright?" he asks with his hand softly caressing my cheek, his eyes now showing a glint of concern. "Yeah…why?"

"I seemed to have lost you for a few minutes there…something on your mind?"

I bite my lip and look down at my lap for a brief moment, slightly embarrassed he caught me in my thoughts of him…mind you it is not the first time, nor will it be the last.

His two fingers come to rest under my chin lifting my head back to him, I lift my eyes, meeting his and my heart skips a beat. "You have the same effect on me" he states as he gently places his lips on mine. It's a soft, tender kiss but the effect it has remains the same as every kiss we share, a thunderbolt of emotion which shoots straight through me.

I'm so consumed by him that I fail to realise a small giggling sound not far from where we are currently sat. I drag my eyes away from Tobias and see Ruby with her hands partially covering her eyes as she giggles away. I smile at her innocence and the fact she no longer detests Tobias and I kissing, and I gesture for her to come join us. She happily complies as she races towards us and launches herself between the both of us, causing us to laugh at her kamikaze style.

"You are one crazy girl" Tobias says as he tickles her with his free hand as his other rests on my hip. Their interactions never cease to amaze me. I could watch them all day, the bond they share is something I could only dream of and now I get to see it every day.

"Mama…elp" Ruby manages to squeak out through her laughter, effectively breaking me out of my trance as I move to tickle to Tobias.

"Two on one that's not fair!" he cries out as Ruby and I double team him as he struggles to escape from the both of us, laughter filling the room and my heart.

After our tickle fight, which lasted a lot longer than I had anticipated as Ruby was not going to let her daddy get away, Tobias and I got Ruby fitted out in some warmer clothes so we could venture out. It's just over an hour away from Ruby's usual dinner time but Tobias and I have decided on a tradition for our family to do on Christmas Eve, which is to drive around some nearby neighbourhoods and look at their Christmas lights. It's nothing too extravagant, but it is one of the fond memories Tobias has as a child at Christmas time and he is keen to pass it down to Ruby and anymore children we decide to have.

I would have loved to have put some up outside our own house but due to the way the house was built it makes it hard to do so, something which I wish was easy to change.

"You ready?" Tobias asks with palpable excitement, matching our daughter who is bouncing safely in his arms.

"You bet I am" I exclaim with equal excitement as I follow them out to the car.

With Christmas carols softly playing in the background, Tobias's free hand laced with mine on my thigh and Ruby enthusiastically babbling at the music and all the bright lights which we continually point out to her, I realise that this is what Christmas is really about.

When I was younger it was the excitement of all the presents which awaited at the bottom of the Christmas tree and subsequently what you got in comparison to the kids at school. My parents never spoiled us as they always believed in giving rather than receiving, but I never really got excited about helping others as I was more concerned with what Santa would bring, no matter how small or few the gifts may have been.

Now, however, I see the value in giving and helping out at a time where everyone should feel the love and magic which this time of the year brings. Now, I also recognise how I would trade every gift I have ever received for just one day more with my parents. As it isn't really about what you get, but appreciating the people you have in your life and the love you share. And with Tobias and Ruby I know I have hit the jackpot, the family I grew up with may not be here, but the one I have made is and that is the best gift I could ever ask for.

"Wow, look at that one Ruby!" Tobias exclaims enthusiastically as we pull up next to a house which you could probably see from space as it is has that many lights. "Someone may be overcompensating for something" he mumbles in my direction, making me laugh…as I know he doesn't need to compensate for _anything_.

We continue around the local neighbourhoods, identifying the best bits of ones we've seen to hopefully do for our own home one day, and we've definitely observed some things to avoid as well. As we make our way home we sing along to some Christmas songs and get Ruby to dance with us in her car seat, occupying her so she doesn't realise how hungry she is. Something I've learnt as a parent, think of anything you can do to keep your child from throwing a tantrum.

After we have fed and bathed Ruby we dress her in her red Christmas style onesie, with cute little reindeer and snowflakes, as we start to wind her down for bedtime, knowing if we continue to hype up what tomorrow entails we won't get to bed for quite some time.

"You want to help her get the treats ready for Santa and the reindeer?"

"I would love to…you coming?" he asks.

"I'll be there in a minute, I'm just going to clean up the bathroom quickly." Knowing I can't really stand to just leave a mess he turns to Ruby and flips her upside down over his shoulder as she screams and laughs as the blood flows to her face. I shake my head at his disappearing form as he is only energising her again, "if you give her too many cookies, _you_ are dealing with her Tobias!" I shout out after him, laughing as he yells back "what's mine is yours."

In response to his words I do the fastest bathroom clean up I can muster so I can oversee my _two_ children in the kitchen, knowing they will spur each other on to be naughty without mummy there.

In the end we all settled for half a glass of milk, three carrots and two cookies for Santa and the reindeers, it could have been more but we quickly realised I have not been shopping for a little while so we were a little short on the Santa supplies.

"And when you wake up Santa will have been" Tobias enthuses to Ruby as he tucks her into her bed, only just tuning back into what he is saying.

"Only if you have been good" I tell her, "have you been a good girl this year Ruby?" She frantically nods her head, "me good."

"I agree, you've been very good for both mummy and daddy." I say as I lean back into Tobias who is sat behind me and intertwine my hands with his. It's quite a sight really, a toddler, a six foot man and a smaller woman all perched onto a toddler bed, and I'm quite surprised it hasn't collapsed under all the weight.

"Time to sleep now baby girl, we will see you in the morning. I love you…and Merry Christmas." I tuck a strand of hair that fell across her face behind her ear and give her a soft kiss on her forehead as Tobias follows suit as we quietly retreat from her room, hopefully not to return until the morning.

….

After placing all the gifts under the Christmas tree we both realised how exhausted we still are and how over the top we went…as we lay in each other's embraces in the middle of the bed I feel safe, loved and extremely lucky to have the life I do. "You are amazing Tris, I haven't been this excited for Christmas in a _very_ long time. Thank you for today with the new traditions…it meant a lot and I can't wait to do it every year with our family." He kisses the tip of my nose and peppers kisses all over my face, with the occasional raspberry which has me attempting to escape his embrace. "How are you so ticklish?" he questions as though trying to break a math equation. "I don't know Tobias" I say with a giggle as he moves to tickle my sides.

"No…stop please" I plead as he tightens his grip on me and pulls me closer to him to the point where there is no more space left between us and nuzzles his face in the nook of my neck. I wind my arm around him and rake my fingers through the hair on the back of his head. "Thank _you_ for making this Christmas one to remember Tobias, I didn't ever think I'd get to experience this with you but I am so thankful that I can."

I don't quite make out what he mumbles into my neck as sleep overtakes me before I have the chance to fight it off.

 **Tobias POV**

This morning has gone by in a blur as my mind continually reverts back to how my Christmas gift for Tris will pan out. I'm trying to stay in the moment as much as possible, not wanting to miss out on anything Ruby experiences in my first Christmas with her. Luckily we didn't have too much of an early rise as Ruby loves her sleep just as much as us, so despite a blip earlier in the morning when she tried to wake us up at some crazy o'clock, we actually had to wake her up at about 7am so we could start our Christmas day.

To see her face light up with every gift she opened made my heart burst, I don't necessarily think that it's the most important thing at Christmas time but I suppose she is a little young to have a deeper understanding, other than it's a day where she gets spoilt rotten. From dolls, plush toys, a mini kitchen set and a pink Peppa Pig tricycle, not to mention all the candy she received, which I'm going to have to kill Zeke and Uriah for, I'd say she had a very successful Christmas.

Being able to watch Tris interact with Ruby as she opened all the presents was mesmorising, I didn't know my heart could hold such love and pride. And to think of missing any more of these would have bee-

"Tobias, Merry Christmas" a soft voice breaks me from my thoughts. I look up from my position on the couch and see Tris, looking as beautiful as ever, stood in front of me with a large rectangular present in her outstretched hands. She's biting on her bottom lip and I grin up at her, hoping to ease her apprehension, hoping she will do the same for me later.

"Thank you"

"You haven't even opened it yet" she laughs nervously.

I slowly feel around the edges and I think it's a frame of some sort, but before Tris can protest at my deliberate attempt at guessing what the gift is, as I know she hates that, I rip at the paper. As soon as I see it all the air is taken out of me.

I look from the picture to Tris ten times over, purely in disbelief and shock. I think Tris's face mirrors mine as I see her tears, and feel mine cascade down my face.

I struggle to get any words out as my eyes settle back onto the picture, which as I had predicted is nicely framed in dark oak. But what takes my breath away is the portrait is of Ruby when she was a baby safely nestled in Tris's arms, one which I have noticed hangs in the hallway, but this one is different. This one has me stood behind them and I feel myself choking up at how seamless it seems, as though I was there from day one.

I feel delicate fingers wipe the tears from my face and I look up at her in awe, my mouth opening and closing as words escape me.

"I…I wanted a picture where you belonged from the start. You may not have physically been here," she takes my hand and places it over her heart, "but you were _always_ here…and I know that you would have been here if you could. It's for both you and Ruby an-" I stop her in her tracks, overwhelmed with emotion as I stand up to meet her and give her a kiss which expresses what my vocal chords currently cannot.

Not willing to let her go just yet I wind my arms around her and pull her close, also checking that Ruby is still contently playing with her toys. I can feel her hands grip onto the hem of my t-shirt, acting as an anchor for me where I feel I can finally vocalise my gratitude.

"Thank you _so_ much Tris…it's…it's seriously amazing!"

"No need to thank me." Selfless, true to her form which I absolutely love about her.

"It's just so real…like I was there when it was taken" I exclaim, still coming to grips with how perfectly it has been created and how meaningful it is. "You are truly amazing Tris" I say sincerely as I move my head back to see her beautiful face, getting lost in her light blue eyes.

"Mama mama mama," Ruby's little voice grabs both of our attention and I'm a little confused as she refuses to meet our eyes but stares at the floor with her infamous pout. I look to Tris for any indication as to what's happened and she senses that as she whispers, "she's had an accident" as she swiftly moves to console her and gives me a soft smile over her shoulder as she takes her to get cleaned up. Best mum ever I think as I look back down at the most thoughtful gift I have ever received, and feel emotion starting to overwhelm me again.

Now I really hope that my present has just as much impact.

…

My palms are sweating and my mind is in overdrive as I try and find the right moment to break into a leading conversation. I know Tris can sense how nervous I am, even if my tight grip on the steering wheel gives it away. I just don't know how to approach the topic and I keep taking roads which I know are the long way round in order to give me some more time and the fact that I know Tris knows something is up but isn't questioning me has me a little frustrated. Not at her but just at how I desperately need something which forces my hand but as we get closer and closer I realise I'm just going to have to bite the bullet. I didn't really say where we going in the first place just that we should take a relaxing Christmas drive, as a walk would be a little chilly in this Chicago winter and well it wouldn't really fit into my plans.

I bring the car to a slow halt as we stop on the side of the road, I turn to Tris who has a confused expression on her face as she looks at me slightly puzzled. Ruby is fast asleep in her car seat, so the car remains silent as I take a little time to straighten my thoughts. I take a deep breath and focus my eyes directly upon hers. It gives me a boost in confidence which I desperately need, "Tris…despite how thankful you were for the perfume, bracelet and other bits…they weren't really the main Christmas gift I had in mind." I see her confusion and I clear my throat, suddenly feeling all choked up, "I just want to mmm…say how incredibly lucky I feel that you gave me a second chance. You believed in me, and I can never express into words how much it meant to be able to be in _your_ family-"

" _Our_ family" she interjects bashfully

I smile softly at her and rub the back of neck, " _our_ family…to have a family with you was what I always dreamt of. I knew as soon as I met you that you were different, a spark so bright and true which I needed to be around. You changed my perspective on life and when I wasn't here you kept me going…every day I would look at a picture of you that I managed to keep ahold of and that would give me strength to find a way out. I _knew_ that when I got out I would do everything I could to make it up to you, a fresh start." I take a deep a breath, open my door much to Tris's surprise and quickly check over Ruby once more, seeing she is still asleep before opening Tris's door and gesturing for her to take my hand, which she does with a little bit of hesitation.

I lead her up onto the sidewalk, not far from the car, and turn to face her again. Just as she is about to start asking questions I raise my hand, "I…I don't really know how to do this…and don't feel compelled to agree…just be honest" I see her eyes questioning me and I realise I'm starting to mumble so I try to compose myself and clear my throat. "I didn't really have somewhere to call my own for a long time, somewhere I could call home. I…I just never really realised I could feel that way with a person, and Tris you make me feel at home. Safe and loved, and I don't want Ruby to ever have a day where she doesn't feel that and I know with the home you've built that could never happen. My home is wherever you two are" _Spit it out Tobias, it's freezing!_

"but I thought we…could have a fresh start where we can build the foundations of _our_ family and lives together," I say as I try to inconspicuously reach into my back pocket and retrieve what I need as I see the wheels turning in her mind at what I'm trying to get at. "A home which knows nothing but the love we all share and," I move my arm to stretch out to the side and let the contents which previously rested in my pocket dangle from my fingertips, "where we can grow old together….a new home…Merry Christmas Tris" I say softly as I now use both arms to gesture to the house we stand in front of. I swallow thickly as I nervously stare at the house in front of us, praying that she will fall in love with the two storey white panelled house which has a spacious patio out-front. I'm trying to resell the idea in my head when I suddenly realise Tris hasn't said anything so I turn back towards her..

 **Tris POV**

 _"_ _Tris you make me feel at home...Ruby to ever have a day where she doesn't feel that…home you've built… My home is wherever you two are."_ I do not know where he is going with this..he's talking again focus Tris, _"a fresh start where we can build the foundations of our family and lives together."_ I see his hand move behind him and my heart rate escalates and my thoughts go into overdrive, _"a home which knows nothing but the love we all share and"_ I can see his arm move off to the side but my eyes remained glued to his deep blue orbs which show both nerves and hope, and I desperately hang onto his next words _, "where we can grow old together….a new home…Merry Christmas Tris"_ he whispers as he turns towards the row of houses next to us. House. Home. Oh my God! What…no there's no way.

My jaw must have hit the floor in shock as I take a quick look in the direction which Tobias is facing. In my flustered state all I can absorb is how beautifully white it is and the for sale sign covered in a large SOLD sticker, making the reality of what I think Tobias said come to the fore.

I look back up to Tobias and see his eyes searching for mine and instantly I can see the apprehension written all over his face.

"You hate it don't you..?" he questions understandingly, making my head shake…or at least I think I am but I can't be totally sure with the shock I _know_ I am under.

He suddenly moves closer to me and cups my face with both his hands as his thumbs swipe across my face, am I crying?

I see his eyes desperately search mine and with my voice obviously not working I bring my hands up to rest on his to try and at least give him some physical reassurance, but what the hell…I plant my lips onto his as they definitely seem to be working now they are _home_ with his. I try to convey as best I can in this moment how overwhelmed I am with love for him and everything which has led to this moment.

I slowly pull away, keeping our foreheads together, "what…how…when…really?" I manage to squeak out in quick succession which causes a deep belly laugh to rumble within him. God I love that sound.

"One question at a time Tris…it doesn't really matter how, but yes really this is ours…if you want it to be?" Immediately nervous again, I really wish he'd stop doubting.

I quickly collect myself so I can give him an answer with conviction so he can be sure of how I am feeling about this.

"Yes Tobias"

"Really?" he returns with obvious excitement

"Absolutely."

He lets out an audible sigh of relief as I feel his shoulders relax, "you have no idea how relieved I am" he exclaims before giving me another chaste kiss.

"You shouldn't have ever doubted. I just…I just can't believe you did this. I can have Christmas lights outside now" I manage to choke out as I burst into another set of tears as he pulls me into his arms.

"We can have as many Christmas lights as you want" he says comically, "I'm sure Ruby would love that." At the mention of our daughters name I attempt to push away from Tobias but he holds me closer and tells me, "she's still sleeping in the car, I have perfect vision of her don't worry." At his words I relax a little more into his hold, but then a thought passes through my mind so I pull my head back so I can see him, "how did Ruby keep this a secret?" I ask practically in disbelief that a two year old could possibly keep this a secret.

It immediately causes a wide mischievous smile to spread across his features. "She didn't know anything about it. I let her have time with Uriah or Shauna and that was the secret." I let out a laugh at how curious I had become at what secret they both had been keeping, to only have it be that she spent time with two of her favourite people.

"Well aren't you sneaky" I smile up at him to which he shrugs his shoulders and gives me that look which hits me right in the core. This man.

"I love you Tobias…this is just too much, but I _cannot_ wait for us to start our new life here. Together. Where we can make new memories and finally move on from what life has thrown our way. I will go wherever you go and I don't want you to doubt that for one second…Now can we sneak a look?" I can't quite put my finger on his expression at this exact moment but it warms my heart nevertheless as he whispers, "absolutely."

We collect Ruby from the car and walk hand in hand towards the front door of our new house. I truly never predicted anything like this would happen to us, we have had our ups and downs and we will continue to do so for the rest of our time together. But I know at the end of every day that I choose him, and he chooses me every time too. For any other person I would have reservations about moving from the home which holds a lifetime of emotions, events and memories collected in only a few years. It's where Ruby has lived for her entire life, it's where I have been at my very best and my very worst, but I don't feel entirely sad about moving away from that because I know this new house will be the next chapter in the crazy journey that is our life.

I don't know how I deserved this but as I look to my right and see Tobias with Ruby safely nestled in his hold, I know this is what life is about. They are my family and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with them…and anyone else that may come along and join us.

 **Tobias POV**

Words cannot express how happy I am right now. This is by far the best Christmas I have ever had and as I walk towards our new home, with Ruby nestled into my right arm and Tris holding onto my left, I know I have come a long way. From the lost boy who met the most amazing girl who would forever change his life, to the time I was so close to losing her forever, to now where I have everything I could never have ever imagined. It really is a dream come true, of a dream I never knew I had.

My mother use to read me stories with a happy ending, and those nightmare adolescence years and the past couple of years had me questioning if there ever was a happy ever after for someone like me. But here and now, I believe there is. Because I am living it.

Our story is far from over, I still have one question I need to ask her and a lifetime of love to share to her, Ruby…and our future children.

I cast my eyes over the woman who has changed my life, "I love you Tris."

 **Tris POV**

Tobias has had a stranglehold on my heart since the first time I laid eyes on him. He's told me before how I changed his life, but he has changed mine too in ways I could never have imagined. He's taught me what true love feels like, how strong I truly am and boundless of things which I will forever be indebted for. I often questioned if I would ever be granted a happy ever after, but here in this moment I know I have, and luckily for me it is only the beginning.

Just looking at him fills my heart with love and joy, I am one lucky woman.

"I love you too Tobias."

The End.

 **Wow, so there it is. I thought this was the perfect time and scene to end what has been an incredible journey for myself and these wonderful characters. I wonder how many of you thought that Tobias buying them a house was the surprise?! Was sort of unplanned but thought it worked perfectly for where I wanted to finish.**

 **I just want to say I honestly can't believe how great of a response I have received from this story. It started as just a summer hobby and to be finishing now is a little bittersweet but I just want to thank everyone who has clicked the favourite and follow button and left amazing reviews. I'm sorry if I never got back to you individually but rest assured every review meant the world to me and gave me the drive to keep going. So THANK YOU. I'm not sure if this will be the one and only, time will tell, but again thank you so much!**


End file.
